Okay so here is the brutal truth about my feelings right now.
I am nervous and somewhat doubtful about starting this journey once again. I have been down this road before of trying to get healthy and it never fails that I don't make it out of the first week. For me its really hard to commit to the changes that need to take place when I don't feel surrounded by friends who are on this journey with me. I have a crazy schedule, and while that is no excuse, I feel like its a juggle to fit time in to see my friends and boyfriend on top of the goal of working out. 
So I admit it, I put everything first, then I don't save any energy for health and fitness. I am the maker of my own cage, but I truly want to slowly change this. I want to be able to have the self control and determination to tell my friends and family that this is what is important to me right now. That it is crucial for me to gain my confidence and body back, that I don't want to feel like I am a foreigner in my own skin.  
I think the difference now is that I know that I need this. I need to do this for myself, for my happiness, and also my relationships with others. I need to feel good about what I am doing and I need to feel like I am in control of one thing in my life. So I am praying to God that he help give me the strength and courage to start. 
Well, that was the deepest I have gone in a long while, so I really hope that says something about where I am at. I will try to keep making little posts like this along the way to keep encouraging and reminding myself of why I am on this journey.
Lets do this!

---

Comments