Hello whoever ends up reading this.
I don't know how things work here. I'm very new to it.
If i do attract attention, thank you and sorry, I think would be most apt. Thank you for letting me rant, and sorry for ranting.. :P

I've never been really into weight training, going to the gym and bulking up.
I don't see the point in gaining all that muscle. One reason for that is that I've always been a really thin person. Thin though I have been, as a child I was athletic, and loved playing sports. Mainly football (soccer). I don't mind being thin. I'm comfortable with my body. But once in a while I feel like it wuld be nice to gain a little weight, look 'healthier'.
Back in school, there were always people who made fun of me as being frail because i was thin. I played defense and occasionally midfield. So I would always be subject to bigger and tougher players charging at me, desperate to get past me and go for the goal.
Yes I was thin. And yes, I barely had any meat on my bones. But my bones have always been strong.
They'd charge, and I'd charge. We'd clash, we'd fall, and the ball would go somewhere else. What people rarely expected, but happened often, was that I would be okay or a little hurt, but I'd get up and run off to continue playing and the tough guy would be complaining about some pain here or there. That was a normal reaction for me. I used to get injured now and then, but i'd keep playing, until the game ends. And I never vocalised my pain. I'd just breath and allow my body to work through it.
I never took to heart when people called me weak. I didn't care what they thought. But I never saw myself as physically strong either. Years of playig football made me realise that i was stronger than i gave myself credit for.
I've tried gaining some weight over the years. As per my Body Mass Index, I've always been way below what would be my ideal weight. I don't mind though. I only need to feel fit. I don't particulary want to try to match up to what the norm is.
Twice in the past, I joined a gym, went regularly and religiously. Roughly 8 months the first time round. About 6 months the second time, after a year gap. Did upper and lower body workouts. Weight training and cardio. Followed a reasonable diet, with plenty of eggs and drank protein shakes until i could no longer afford to. It had a positive impact on my body, but my circumstances were such that both times i couldn't continue.
That was some 2-3 years ago. In this period exercise was basically walking, and climbing up and down stairs. Other than that there was sleep and sitting at my desk and working.
In the past year, I've gotten to play a little or walk around, but other than that I've been pretty lazy to do anything. Occasional smoking or drinking, and every now and then I think about going for a run or doing some exercises. At present, going to the gym isn't an option.
Yesterday I decided to do some basic exercises on my own. Ease into it, in a way. There was a 30 day exercise schedule I remember downloading once upon a time. Started with Day 1 - 50 squats, 25 crunches, 10 seconds of Plank and 5 push ups for which i did 15 instead.
I'm fine for the most of it. Upper body is fine, but my thighs are killing me. If i sit, i can't stand. If i stand, i can't sit. I walk funny.
Found FreeTrainers while looking for some remedies and suggestions for a better workout (at home). My workout routine here starts tomorrow.
I have a good feeling about this, but on the other hand I don't trust myself fully to see it through. Let's see.

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