Hello Hello,  be this my first flogging, i thought i may greet everyone who may read this and what ever you get or dont get out of this  - GREAT.

I started this week off so ill, and yes i know we are only monday night, i have the Flu, swollen tonsils and something really sore going on with my bloody ears due to the first two bummer things going on.

with my being sick -  2 days only at the moment, i felt that, i am 24 years old, and being a 24yr old young lady, i shouldnt be having shortness of breath or feel laboured in everything that i do, i should have a lot more energy than what i currently feel myself to have or realise in using, i should be fit, and healthy and know without a doubt why i cannot give into a swing by kfc or chicken licken for hotwings. call it cliche, but they are so great until you have eaten 1 or 2 or 3, and then you - well me, i start to feel ill, and then i hate myself for even buying them but most times than not, i will finish most of what i purchased.  my tummy then goes into knots, i can barely breath i feel so sick, and i want to hide in the loo hugging the toilett for the rest of the evening.

In the beginning of this year, i lost a well done 12kg, and mann oh mann when i tell you you could see that difference, it was amazing, i was looking good, wearing things that i never felt comfortable to wear and oozing out such a high confident aura and thAT WAS ONLY 12KG... but where the hek did it go!? i picked up 4kg these passed 2 months and yet for some reason that hasnt stopped me from buying a freaking burger or hot wings here and there, when i was doing so well, i hadnt touched kfc in 6 months and then what? Like a bat out of hell i just drop all the hard work id achieved with brilliant results.

I do not know why, my weight and health should be my biggest motivation, yet whenever i get passed the 10kg bench mark i have a mental block and start pacing backwards.

as you can hear, i like my food, and fast food hotwings are a bad thing - i can say to you one morning i am eating healthy and that same morning you can pitch up with a eggmc muffin and i will say, ok later or tomorrow...

i do believe i am sick this weekend because of the possible suger over load this weekend from baking a whole bunch of cakes and the likes for a babyshower, funny though how i dont eat the cakes themselves...

Point being is that i need to listen to my body, i can feel it when my body is feeling perfect and running like a well oiled machine, but i have to continue paying attentioin to it so that i can notice when that feeling has gone away and i am not feeling great anymore, that means my body is scaling down the slide and i have to rectify it.
so here goes to my new plan that i am busy with :) and to reaching of realistic goals in small incriments to keep the drive there :)

i will be postiing a before picture for myself and whoever else would like to cheer me on, i would like to lose 40kg, i have a small bone structure and the fact tht i believe i am carrying a second person around on my skeletal structure is what stops me from wearing pretty heels the way i want to and gorgeous summer dresses and winter suits.... BUT ONTOP OF THAT, it may stop me from having another child, it may stop my life completely - so i best stop it before it stops me.

here i go!
Good Luck to you and all your ventures
and please excuse any and all of my spelling mistakes.
Natti

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