If anyone reads this... I'm sorry in advance for bad spelling, gramma, punctuation. This is my first time blogging and also the longest piece I've written besides updating my facebook status in 3 years.
I wouldn't willingly call myself a procrastinator but the large pile of laundry next to the washer speaks louder than words. I've spent the past two years making exscuses for my poor exercise routine, "too tired, work is more important, my social life will suffer" etc. etc. As time has gone on my weight has gone up and my excuses become more rediculous, then something unexpected and equally wonderful happened. That bit of extra Christmas holiday weight became pregnancy weight... 20 kilos of it. So I used my first pregnancy as another excuse to prolong my time as a couch potato. Little did I know the colossal impact this would have on me later (and I'm not just talking about the extra weight).
After the birth of my beautiful daughter and the excitement and hysteria had settled I came to realise a few things and they weren't pleasant. My partner and I began to have issues with intimacy. I felt awkward, intimidated and desperately unhappy. After another increasingly brief and awkward 'encounter' and the tears that followed, my partner asked me what was wrong. I had no idea. I knew what I was feelig but I didn't know why. Then after a few more unanswered questions he blurted out, "Do you think I'm not attracted to you anymore?" And suddenly it hit me like a 20 kilo brick - that was exactly what I thought. Why? Because I didn't know who I was anymore. I had lost myself. If I couldn't recognise me, how could he? The woman he fell in love with had disappeared under a thick layer of frumpy clothes and comfort food.
So the elephant in the room had been identified and I'd found the motivation I needed to kick into gear. Now here I am about to start a journey to find that firey, carefree and overindulgent woman (I like shoes) and bring back some of her spark. Also her excellent taste in clothes and trim physique. Who would have thought all I needed was a brick to the face?
I wouldn't willingly call myself a procrastinator but the large pile of laundry next to the washer speaks louder than words. I've spent the past two years making exscuses for my poor exercise routine, "too tired, work is more important, my social life will suffer" etc. etc. As time has gone on my weight has gone up and my excuses become more rediculous, then something unexpected and equally wonderful happened. That bit of extra Christmas holiday weight became pregnancy weight... 20 kilos of it. So I used my first pregnancy as another excuse to prolong my time as a couch potato. Little did I know the colossal impact this would have on me later (and I'm not just talking about the extra weight).
After the birth of my beautiful daughter and the excitement and hysteria had settled I came to realise a few things and they weren't pleasant. My partner and I began to have issues with intimacy. I felt awkward, intimidated and desperately unhappy. After another increasingly brief and awkward 'encounter' and the tears that followed, my partner asked me what was wrong. I had no idea. I knew what I was feelig but I didn't know why. Then after a few more unanswered questions he blurted out, "Do you think I'm not attracted to you anymore?" And suddenly it hit me like a 20 kilo brick - that was exactly what I thought. Why? Because I didn't know who I was anymore. I had lost myself. If I couldn't recognise me, how could he? The woman he fell in love with had disappeared under a thick layer of frumpy clothes and comfort food.
So the elephant in the room had been identified and I'd found the motivation I needed to kick into gear. Now here I am about to start a journey to find that firey, carefree and overindulgent woman (I like shoes) and bring back some of her spark. Also her excellent taste in clothes and trim physique. Who would have thought all I needed was a brick to the face?
Comments
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Congrats to you! Good luck!
miferrie
2012/12/11