Had a big discussion with Brian on Saturday about my mental issues...I need to buck up and quit complaining and crying and being scared and put in my effort 100% and get this done. My biggest hurdle is belief in myself. I have a hard time believing I can do everything I need to do, or that I even have the right to try. I have a hard time believing that I belong onstage, that I should even call myself a bodybuilder...that I'm not just a wannabe.I guess the only way to prove that I'm not a wannabe is to bust ass and get on stage in freaky condition and pose great and look awesome.....so. Here comes the biggest push of my life. I start doing 5AM cardio everyday tomorrow morning and PM cardio every day , too. My new diet is in effect, feeling pretty good there. I will eat nothing that is not on my list without first getting an okay from Brian and I will follow my plan to the letter. I WILL NOT look back.

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