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2003/10/23, 11:34 AM
Hello all,
What is too much disagreement in a relationship? I think my boyfriend and I just disagree over normal things but I'm not sure. This is the first time I've ever really been in a relationship with someone I love. We always work out everything when we do disagree just it seems so stupid to me to argue over such things. LOL
We definitely disagree on my weight. I was on depo-provera for 3 years and gained 11-30 pounds a year with it. I was starving all the time. I could go to McDonalds or Sonic or anywhere we went and get two meals and eat the entire thing and still be starving. LOL I finally got off of it 'cause that's just too weird that a woman should be able to eat that much. LOL
Anyway, He thinks I don't care about my body and that's disgusting to him. I'm a size 18 now instead of a 20 and have been working out and trying to lose weight for 2 years since I met him.
He constantly wants to go out to restaurants like Fridays, Hooters and Bennigans and get chips and salsa and wings and all these fattening things, but expects me to eat a salad while he's munching away on the good stuff.
I've tried to talk to him about it but he still keeps making plans with all of these people to eat out. I'm getting very VERY tired of eating quesadillas and salad with grilled chicken LOL ... Plus I've only lost about 17 pounds in the last 2 years. It sure went on a lot faster than it comes off.
Any suggestions? Any motivation? hehe PLEASE ?
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2003/10/23, 12:20 PM
First it always goes on faster than it comes off. Second and I hate to be this forward but if your weight bothers him that much its his problem not yours. Next if he is not going to assist you in any way than he needs to bug off. Congrats for all your hard fought efforts in the weight loss department. Keep up the clean diet and exercise the weight will come off if you want it too. And yes its okay to have a cheat day here and there it keeps you sane trust me I lost almost 100lbs at one point. Good luck
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2003/10/23, 03:57 PM
If the people around us don't want to be supportive of our efforts to change, I think deep down then, they don't want us to change. As long as he sabotages your efforts to lose weight he keeps his reasons for complaining! You are doing the right thing and hopefully you are doing it for the right person, YOU! If you don't want to eat at these places, make arrangements to meet him a little later and eat at home. Avoiding temptation is crucial when trying to lose weight and change your lifestyle. Like Dr. Phil says: you have to create a no fail environment.
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~Victoria~
...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills
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2003/10/23, 05:06 PM
Thanks for the words of encouragement. ;) I think we settled the going out thing. I showed him the 450.00 that's just gone to eating out in the last month. He freaked out and said we're not going out anymore. So hopefully that'll take care of that.
:)
I'm working out for me and me only. I want to feel better and look better. Well, that and too I noticed my rear end is getting a little big. ;) HEHEHEH Can't have that!
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2003/11/21, 07:34 PM
Hiyas azredhead. Showing him the receipts didn't really work but it's getting better anyway so ... When we go out he orders what he wants and I get either a salad or a tuna steak sandwich or something like that and have a bite or two of his. heheh ;) It's working great! I even ate a few fries last night... SHHHHHH !!! ;)
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2003/12/08, 12:54 PM
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. You go laneylou!
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~Victoria~
...Do not be discouraged; everyone who got where he is, started where he was.--anon
...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills
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2003/12/08, 01:10 PM
Hi Laney
Just read the post. First off congratulations on the weight lose so far. I guess I'll start by saying that the restaurants you and yours go to are hard on the eating plan. The chicken and salad is a good option so High Five on that. Id say foremost the diet is on the top of the list for beginning the weight loss you are looking for. No matter what anyone says: eating bread, pasta, sugars, fats like burger/fries etc never made any of us look like we needed to put on some weight. Im not saying that wheat products in moderation including the pasta products isnt an option but...there definitely is a method to weight loss and taking those things out of our diet helps enormously. I also found that using the free weights and machines along with one hr of cardio at least three times per week has been very successful. I lost weight by going to the gym, watching my diet, and within nine months I had shed those lbs that made me so tired, not able to get into my clothes etc. I was to tired :) and overweight. I know for myself I perfer a healthy body and believe me potatoes and pasta are on my FAV of all time list. You sound like you have a great attitude to begin the weight loss...reading the rest of the posts between you and azred...sounds like you have a handle on it or at least the beginning of reaching you goal. Keep us posted. I was there in some respects over three years ago. :). Thought to contemplate. When you wake up in the morning does he make you smile and are you glad hes the one there? :) Good Luck. Lifes to short to wonder!!! Peace
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2003/12/08, 01:33 PM
hehe you girls make me feel so good! :) I've been kinda slackin' on things last week but finally made myself go to the gym the other day. And I'm going back today 'cause I feel so good now! heheh ;)
cc: I couldn't ever imagine anyone else being there when I wake up and he wakes me up every morning with Good Morning Beautiful/Sexy/ or Sweetie and it makes me smile a huge smile. :)
One thing I've noticed lately too ... I usually read Harry Potter while I'm on the treadmill or bike. I've been sitting down to read it lately instead of going to the treadmill and I'm sooooooo stiff the next morning. No more of that! It's definitely to the treadmill each time I'm going to read.
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