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A conversation between Eve and God

hecdarec
hecdarec
Posts: 2,457
Joined: 2003/12/16
United States
2004/01/27, 09:44 AM
Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and
all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic
snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for
you."

"Man? What is that Lord?"

"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be
vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger,
faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he
is aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a
way
that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will
revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't
be
too smart, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but
what's the catch Lord?"

"Well.....you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring.....so you'll
have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be
our little secret.............. You know, woman to woman."


Guys this cant be true can it? =)

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Hec da Rec in full effect.
csferrie
csferrie
Posts: 102
Joined: 2003/11/02
Canada
2004/01/27, 05:06 PM
Cute, but God does not exist. It cannot be proven otherwise.
rpacheco
rpacheco
Posts: 3,770
Joined: 2001/12/13
United States
2004/01/27, 05:09 PM
Nor can it not be proven...there are 2 sides to the coin.

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**_Robert_**
Pain is temporary; glory is forever!
Carivan
Carivan
Posts: 8,542
Joined: 2002/01/20
Canada
2004/01/27, 05:12 PM
It was ONLY a joke! Cmon!

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"A will finds a way"
Ivan Montreal Canada
csferrie
csferrie
Posts: 102
Joined: 2003/11/02
Canada
2004/01/27, 05:16 PM
Whether God exists or not does not affect the way I live. One who practices religion shouldn't do so on blind faith. The burden of proof is therefore on one who does believe.
Carivan
Carivan
Posts: 8,542
Joined: 2002/01/20
Canada
2004/01/27, 05:19 PM
Ccsferrie...Hows things in Waterloo?

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"A will finds a way"
Ivan Montreal Canada
csferrie
csferrie
Posts: 102
Joined: 2003/11/02
Canada
2004/01/27, 05:28 PM
They closed the universities today, though I don't have class today and had to go to work anyhow. Did you get a pile of snow today as well?

I'm going to force a shadow on that damn groundhog next week. (There is only four weeks left of winter if he sees it right? I forget how it goes.)
Carivan
Carivan
Posts: 8,542
Joined: 2002/01/20
Canada
2004/01/27, 05:33 PM
No we didn't get the snow..we would have no where to put it, we have too much already. Just freezing cold!
The ground hog says 6 weeks, the one from Wyerton anyway. I don't know about groundhogs...it seems it's never gonna end. Good luck at UoW.

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"A will finds a way"
Ivan Montreal Canada
halfpint116
halfpint116
Posts: 189
Joined: 2003/12/29
United States
2004/01/27, 05:55 PM
Csferrie, I know why you don't believe that there isn't a God, you are studying physics and Most of those who study physics don't believe. EVERYTHING has to be proven for a FACT. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect that, but for me there is a God and I fear him!!!!!
hecdarec
hecdarec
Posts: 2,457
Joined: 2003/12/16
United States
2004/01/27, 06:00 PM
For the love of christ people I posted this for a laugh =) Note the sarcasm.

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Hec da Rec in full effect.
csferrie
csferrie
Posts: 102
Joined: 2003/11/02
Canada
2004/01/27, 06:19 PM
I know Hec, should have kept my mouth shut. How about this to redeem myself:

Why did God create Woman?
Because sheep can't bring you your beer from the fridge!
Carivan
Carivan
Posts: 8,542
Joined: 2002/01/20
Canada
2004/01/27, 06:37 PM
LOL....now your gonna get it from the women! HAHAHA

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"A will finds a way"
Ivan Montreal Canada
rpacheco
rpacheco
Posts: 3,770
Joined: 2001/12/13
United States
2004/01/27, 06:37 PM
============
Quoting from halfpint116:

Csferrie, I know why you don't believe that there isn't a God, you are studying physics and Most of those who study physics don't believe. EVERYTHING has to be proven for a FACT. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect that, but for me there is a God and I fear him!!!!!
=============

Good point, Halfgallon. Although, I too have an avid interest in quantum mechanics and applied physics. Even physics experts and mathematicians cannot prove many of the theories because of our limited resources and current human knowledge.

I was just brushing up the other day on the Big Bang (could be responsible for "creating life") but no one can answer the question of what happened before this event? Pretty interesting reading...

No offense to anyone...just an open mind.

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**_Robert_**
Pain is temporary; glory is forever!
halfpint116
halfpint116
Posts: 189
Joined: 2003/12/29
United States
2004/01/27, 07:12 PM
No offense taking here rpacheco. I respect everyone's opinions on different subjects.
Just like you think I'm halfgallon but to Anna Nicole Smith I may only be a quart.
2004/01/27, 07:21 PM
Ivan , I think the women are ok with csferrie but I bet the sheep are pissed.

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Living well is the best revenge.

Charlie
halfpint116
halfpint116
Posts: 189
Joined: 2003/12/29
United States
2004/01/27, 07:47 PM
Lord Charlie, I am a blond, explain what you mean for me.
halfpint116
halfpint116
Posts: 189
Joined: 2003/12/29
United States
2004/01/27, 07:48 PM
Never mind, I didn't go far enough up the thread before I responded. I repent. (no pun intended)
Carivan
Carivan
Posts: 8,542
Joined: 2002/01/20
Canada
2004/01/27, 08:09 PM
This all started as joke from our wreced man....pretty funny thread. Hey Charlie...wanna borrow my snowblower?

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"A will finds a way"
Ivan Montreal Canada
rev8ball
rev8ball
Posts: 3,081
Joined: 2001/12/27
United States
2004/01/28, 02:36 AM
Actually, I have a BS in Physics, and have been a quite devout Roman Catholic - that is, until I converted recently, and became an Agnostic Dislexic Insomniac....Now, I'm up all night wondering if there is a Dog (drum fill, please).

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Michael

Trample the weak; hurdle the dead!
Chaos, Panic, Disorder.... Yes, my work here is done!
perfect_elise
perfect_elise
Posts: 63
Joined: 2003/10/07
Romania
2004/01/28, 04:38 AM
Well, before I go home to walk my god :) ...my two cents:

I don't see a point in arguing about the (non)existence of God...Faith has nothing to do with demonstrations of this kind, it's a way of seeing the world...it's either in you or it isn't. I don't think any of the people who used to be atheists and ended up embracing a religion did it becuase somebody "explained" to them how things were going and convinced them in a rational way.

It's all about where you are in your life and what you figure out by yourself.


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...snow can wait, I forgot my mittens...
ATrueladi
ATrueladi
Posts: 37
Joined: 2003/11/04
United States
2004/01/28, 08:29 AM
Ok guys.... This joke as you call it...IT"S TRUE! My Mom told me when I was a little girl and that I had to keep it a secret. heheheheheheheh just kidding! Have a great day everyone! and no fighting : )
Julisa
Julisa
Posts: 87
Joined: 2004/01/27
United States
2004/01/28, 08:46 AM
God exists for me. There is no other explanation for me surviving some of the things that I have.
hecdarec
hecdarec
Posts: 2,457
Joined: 2003/12/16
United States
2004/01/28, 08:49 AM
I really regret starting this post. I apologize. Please forgive me all. P.S. My body is my temple!

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Hec da Rec in full effect.
perfect_elise
perfect_elise
Posts: 63
Joined: 2003/10/07
Romania
2004/01/28, 09:00 AM
Don't be. The joke was funny. :)

No one's arguing so smile and be happy :)



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...snow can wait, I forgot my mittens...
halfpint116
halfpint116
Posts: 189
Joined: 2003/12/29
United States
2004/01/28, 09:56 AM
Hey hec, the joke was good, in my opinion (again it is only mine.) Don't regret it. I regret saying anything back to csferrie about God not existing. I believe he does and csferrie doesn't. That is all it was, two opposite opinions and we all know that this is one subject that will always be debateable. Keep the jokes coming - they are funny!!!!!
Julisa
Julisa
Posts: 87
Joined: 2004/01/27
United States
2004/01/28, 10:00 AM
On second thought, if there was a God he would have blessed me with the ability to eat all I want and still be fit. (I'm sorry, my breakfast has long expired this morning) LOL
rpacheco
rpacheco
Posts: 3,770
Joined: 2001/12/13
United States
2004/01/28, 11:51 AM
Hec, keep up with the jokes! If not, the burden is all on Charlie to keep us entertained...

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**_Robert_**
Pain is temporary; glory is forever!
hecdarec
hecdarec
Posts: 2,457
Joined: 2003/12/16
United States
2004/01/28, 11:52 AM
Charlie does a godd job of that doesnt he!

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Hec da Rec in full effect.
2004/01/28, 11:57 AM
Where these threads go is like what I said on another subject yesterday, its like herding cats.

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Living well is the best revenge.

Charlie
2004/01/28, 12:27 PM
Our Father................. Amen :) Cute!!!


QUOTE:
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring.....so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret.............. You know, woman to woman."

I LOVE IT. LOL SO TRUE BUT WHY WE WOMEN LOVE YA!!!
bigandrew
bigandrew
Posts: 5,146
Joined: 2002/10/21
United States
2004/01/28, 03:32 PM
heres another adam and eve joke if anyone is intrested..............hope i don't get deleted lol

when god made adam and eve he said to them.........
" I have a gift for both of you, but you can only have once each".....
Adam and eve looked at each other and agreed and said
" what are they"?
God said "well the 1st one is peeing standing up"
Adam jumped up and said " Ow, Ow, me, me I want that one!"
God said " ok then its yours"
adam runs over to a tree and starts peeing...... saying " ha ha you gotta sit!"
eve looked at god and said "well what do I get?"
God nodded at her and said " Mutiple orgasms with out napping"


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---andrew.......adversity causes some to break, but others to break records!

LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR!!
Julisa
Julisa
Posts: 87
Joined: 2004/01/27
United States
2004/01/30, 07:24 AM
See what happens when you jump the gun guys? LOL
Actually, I do believe there is a scientific reason for the nap, but I can't remember what it is.