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2004/03/08, 03:01 PM
Ok girls, this is all in fun, read and tell me if it universal or if I'm outta my tree.
:laugh:
I have discovered through my personal need to build a better body that there are four major types of men that patron the gym.
The first group I will call the HEART ATTACK HOTTIES.
This is the group of men, latter middle age to nearly geriatric that have been given strict orders to adopt a workout routine and stick with it for the purpose of staying around a little longer. They most often can be found between the equipment and not actually on it...clutching their towels and the water bottle that was given to them for free at some healthy living expo sponsored by a stool softener company.
Hey, it's an honest effort though and fitness has no age cap, so a big kiss from the redhead on the treadmill for them!! :love:
The second group I will call the
MEAN-GREEN-MISDIRECTED-MACHINES.
This group is composed of the men that clearly consider their membership a payment towards the self esteem that they never had...or perhaps they were picked on for being skinny when they were young, dunno, had to be something though. You can find them with their support belts and 80ies haircuts...genuinely about to experience a hernia trying to lift something compairable to a vehicle for the purpose of....well, I dunno the answer to that either.
I personally see absolutely no rhyme or reason to this, so they do not recieve anything but sympathy from the redhead at the water fountain. :(
The third group I term IN-AND-OUT-MEN-OF-DISTICTION
This is the small and barely visable male community within the facility who are really there to work it out and meet their own personal gains for fitness. You can catch them intermittenly as they pass quitely from the benches to the squat machines. They are the precious few that look like their minds are on what they are doing, rarely speak and usually only patron a mere 30 minutes or so.
I like to watch these men work out, they are serious and get a big approving smile from the redhead on the floor trying to stretch an overdone hamstring.:big_smile:
And lastly is the group appropriately named the
LOOK AT ME-HURCULES-HUNKS.
Believe it or not, this group comprises the majority of the male gym patrons who, apparently, were talked into the membership via "status qo" friendships or magazine articles designed to lead you in the right direction as to how to get laid. These are the ones that seem to migrate around the equipment in stallion like manner, usually in groups of two or more....and whose capacity to lift a heavy weight solely depends on the chick that is near them at the time. They spend the majority of their time flexing in the mirror, and looking out the corner of their eyes trying to see who is looking at them and hoping that they are female in origin.
Guys, you're fabulous to look at...but easy on the eyes don't cut it for the redhead trying to get past you for a set of dumb bells.:dumbbell:
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2004/03/08, 03:21 PM
It's universal, it's universal!!!!
LMAO over here Dfly411, I noticed the same thing but I would have never thought to put it in words!
BTW, how are your lunges going?
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2004/03/08, 04:27 PM
Very funny. And yes, our gym has them too. And welcome, another redhead to FT.
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~Victoria~
...Do not be discouraged; everyone who got where he is, started where he was.--anon
...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills
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2004/03/08, 04:45 PM
What about us youngins? Wait, im stupid...i guess we can fall into those four categories as well. Oh but i thought of one category we're missing. Meathead - These large, full-of-themselves type men like to grunt groan and put on a show for everyone else, then pretend it is THEIR gym. :( They get a large kick in the pants from the texan.
BTW i must say this though: Readheads are awesome. Hands down, no ifs ands or buts about it. Readheads are amazing (especially deep red).
Okay OkAy! Im leaving. Sorry male in the female forum again :surprised:
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2004/03/08, 04:58 PM
Wow. I must really be blind...or stupid...or the secret answer D)all of the above
well atleast i made the distinction about them thinking its their gym. Jerks...
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2004/03/08, 08:54 PM
I believe another term for the MEAN-GREEN-MISDIRECTED-MACHINES could be MEAN GREEN MIDLIFE CRISIS MACHINES :laugh:
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2004/03/09, 11:07 AM
Well fair is fair ladies.... I just came back from a busy downtown gym, and trust me there are categories for the ladies as well...
The first group I will call the TRAILER PARK BAHAMA MAMAS. You know the ones guys, they wear those black, skin tight cotton jobbies and those shirts that hang down like bells from their chests. They don't really do anything quickly, and never break a sweat.
This group gets a shutter from the guy writing out his routine.
The second group I will call the LEAVE-ME-ALONE-HEADPHONES. This group is usually easy to look at, likes to wear revealing clothing, wants to be noticed, but keeps the headphones on so she can decide who to talk to and when.
This group doesn't even merit a smile from the guy on the bench.
The third group I will call the GIRLS NEXT DOOR. Again, usually easy to look at, and working hard at looking better. She's not so into herself that she can't have a conversation waiting for a piece of equipment, and doesn't mind asking the odd question if she's not sure about something.
This group can have my time (or phone number) any day!
The last group I will call the I'M AN AMAZON AND I KNOW IT group. These girls are in shape, better shape than me, they wear next to nothing and can really pull it off. They are benching more than most guys and have muscles in places I didin't know existed, and they make sure that everyone can see every striation. They're not there to meet anyone anyway, so the fact that they are unapproachable is irrelevant.
They get the utmost of respect from they guy wishing he had their determiniation!
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If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.--- Desiderata, Max Ehrmann, 1927
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2004/03/09, 01:54 PM
I work out at home so I just watch Laura on Little House on the Prarrie. Michael Landon once said she was so buck toothed that she could eat an apple through a picket fence.:big_smile:
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The greatest mystery of life is who we truly are.
Charlie
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2004/03/10, 01:30 PM
Jcannuck and dfly411 those were too funny..........and my god you are so right were do these people come from??? Jcannuck I would have to put myself into the girls next door with headphones on (for the sole purpose of my music selection being somewhat heavy and wouldnt want to torture anyone else) but always have time to say hello and am not afraid to ask questions if I am not sure on something.:dumbbell:
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2004/03/11, 03:06 PM
Say it ain't so Lynn! I actually saw a girl the other day with headphones on, and they weren't even plugged in to anything!!!!!(I think she thought they were, she had the MP3 player, and the cord was attached - just not plugged in)
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2004/03/12, 08:23 AM
yes dear it is true and maybe she had new headphones that dont need to plug into anything....who knows......I dont always were my headphones because sometimes I am lucky enough where no one is in the gym so I can listen to my godsmack cd and then hop on the treadmill........5 mins later the gym is packed and I am jsut waiting for them to complain about my music and I actually held a conversation with not one but two people yesterday ......thought that might make you happy.......I stepped up in the world and purchased an mp3 player but my headphones plug in so needless to say i have musis for hours and hours now.......:dumbbell:
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you can lead the horse to the water but you can't make them drink.....
~lynnoakdale
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2004/03/12, 12:51 PM
Hey Lynn, I'm just teasing! No offence intended. I think you know the type of girl I mean, and I'm sure you're not one of them. All meant in fun.
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If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.--- Desiderata, Max Ehrmann, 1927
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