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2004/03/18, 11:05 PM
I'm 33 F and my ex. is 22. We had a great 6 months together but recently he told me that he didn't want to be bfriend/gfriend anymore. Said, he wants to be by himself, time alone. So anyways, I said, well then you don't want to see me anymore? And he said no, I am not saying that. This happened last Saturday Nt. I just don't get it cause in my eyes I thought things were good. But anyway just wondering if it is because he is young and just wants to party with his friends. I just don't know if he'll wake up one day and come around. I'm not going to put my life on hold and wait for him either.
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2004/03/18, 11:13 PM
Uhm thats a good one. At 22 allot of us (men)still have some figuring out to do with our direction in life. He might just need some alone time to figure out life and where it's going. The wants and needs of a 33 year old are usually going to be some what different than a 22 year old. Well good luck - Mike
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I am that
which must be feared, worshipped and adored. The world is mine
now and forever.No one holds command over me. No man. No god. I am a beast and that is enough.
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2004/03/19, 06:52 AM
ask yourself this question.......(not knowing much on the situation) where were you at int he relationship frame of mind at 22??? I think sometimes (and please anyone dont be offended here) guys are happy for a whil with a girl and then they get some kind of bug to where they realize they miss the club thing and hanging with there friends. A few years ago I was involved with a guy who was 5 years younger then me men being 26 and him 21 he wanted to have a serious relationship but I refused because I wanted him to go out and have a good time and enjoy his freedom because 5 years down the road I didnt want to hear that he needed to find himself.......5 years later who would have ever thought I would marry someone 5 years younger then me. I think though in your case he isnt really sure what he wants or what he has (the relationship with you)......he may come around but may not. Alot of people want their cake and eat it too and it just doenst work that way. I know that it is hard to walk away from a relationship and there is some pain that you deal with but just take it one day at a time and move forward........:love:
As far as you I would take this time to really figure out what I wanted from this relationship......is this a person that you want to settle down with long term?
I would evaluate the pros and conns and then figure out if he is in indeed the person you want to be with.
Whenever this has happened to me in the past once I get through all the hurt I take time and take care of me......decide if I am getting everything I want need and deserve from the relationship..........I hope this helped.......I am sorry that this happened but I think you are right if you dont want to see him while on this break then dont........
a person should always have one love they can imagine going back to and another to show them just how far they have come.........that quote has always helped me in the past.....keep your head up:love:
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you can lead the horse to the water but you can't make them drink.....
~lynnoakdale
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2004/03/19, 08:00 AM
I don't think every guy is in that clubbing mentality, I know that I am not, never will be, and I am a 22 years old. I had a 33 yr old women ask me out at work, I only said no because I was not interested. Perhaps it was getting to serious for him? I couldn't see why, older women rock.:big_smile:
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2004/03/19, 08:05 AM
This is just my opinion, but I think he is too young to answer your needs.
I've just broke up with my 22 year-old boyfriend - I got so fed up with his immaturity, I felt like his teacher rather than his lover.
Anyways, if you do manage to work it out, let me in on the secret, will ya? lol
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2004/03/19, 08:10 AM
I don't think the age difference really matters, it doesn't matter to you and sure didn't matter to him when it started. I think the most important thing here is that when a man says he needs "space" (the final frontier), you need to let go, grieve, and move on. I say this from experience and not to be mean. I waited for a year for a man who needed space. I cried everyday for a year, waiting for him, loving him, needing him. He never did come back and when I realized he wasn't going to, I cried for another year. I'm so sorry that this has happend, but for your own sake just pick up your toys and move on. It's really better for you if you do.
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Anni
Never pet a burning dog.
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2004/03/19, 08:28 AM
I can give you my perspective on what happened with my ex. I broke up with her last year (she was 31 at the time I was 24) with hindsight one of the main reasons for the break up was that I had no space to breathe.
I felt I was losing who I was because I was spending every living second around her. I needed time alone, time with friends to just hang out and do nothing. She talked about marriage, children, though I can picture these at some point in my life continually discussing them at 24 whilst still at uni frankly scared the sh$t out of me.
Paradoxically it was her fear of losing me that drove me away and ruined an otherwise good relationship. Talking with a good friend, who was in a similar age gap relationship he told me the exact same thing happened to that one as well.
I cannot comment on your situation I do not know either of you or the relationship, just passing on my experience.
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2004/03/19, 08:50 AM
Guys do age at a very different pace then women. I've never dated any man younger than me. In fact, my fiance is 10 yrs. older than me. I don't necessarily thing it's just because he is a younger GUY that he broke up with you. I think hardly anyone at age 22 is really sure of what they want in life and are ready to settle for just one person.
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2004/03/19, 08:54 AM
My hubby used to only date women older than him, then he got sick and tired of their relationship "baggage" as he calls it and decided to try someone younger that he could "mold" /snicker. . . into the perfect woman. Hence we started dating when I was 17, now even with all this at 24 he still had to decide he needed his space, but he came back and we will be celebrating 2 years of marriage in July so fret not, odds are he's just feeling a little cramped and needs to reassure himself that he's still in control of his life.
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Love me as I am . . .
Let me worry about how I look!
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2004/03/19, 09:01 AM
To be blunt he is saying that he needs space but he still wants to see you? I used this line as a way to see other girls without feeling guilty. Hey we arent together so it is ok. If I were you I would tell him what you want and he is either on board or not. If you let him come and go as he pleases he will do it often.
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My gym dues are not paid with money.
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2004/03/19, 09:07 AM
Space = Non commitment. Period.
As far as age is concerned, a person's maturity cannot be based on their age. My husband is 27 but has an older mindset. I'm 33 and I have the mindset of a three year old child most of the time...:big_smile:
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2004/03/19, 02:57 PM
I agree with dfly, it is unfair to always assume that just because at a younger age, a person does not know what they want, or that they are always going to be immature. There are quite a few 22 yr olds out there with a plan. (I'm one of them)
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