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2004/04/22, 11:11 AM
I didn't want to post my female thoughts in the Male Forum, but their Dirty/Posh discussion got me thinking.
My 13 year old daughter is suffering through the 'who am I' phase, trying to figure out in which clique she fits.. asking me questions about when she was little, was she a tomboy, did she wear dresses (went through both).
I ask her why she can't be friends with all of them: wear a skirt when you feel like it, but don't panic if you didn't get to put your eyeliner on today; climb trees and learn to throw a football, but never forget your manners...
She says "Oh my GOD Mom, you don't get it! You have to pick who you're going to hang out with.." ((uggh peer pressure))
So my question is this: Do you think you fit into a certain 'type' of girl?? Posh, Tomboy, Athletic, Earthy, etc??
Personally, I don't think I'm any of those, more like all of them and I never know which one is rolling out of bed in the morning!!
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2004/04/22, 11:55 AM
I don't think I am any of those either....just depends on what mood I am in. I don't think you have to be any certain type, but the person you are comfortable with and then you will know who your real friends are--those that accept you for who you are. I was friends with all sorts of groups in school. Peer Pressuce sucks, but I guess it has changed alot since I was 13...14 years ago. I went to a very small school to so maybe that matters in a way.I am just me, sometimes I want to feel all dressy and sexy, others day I am the soccer mom, and sometimes I want to be the bum....maybe I have multiple personalities LOL:laugh::big_smile:
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2004/04/22, 01:14 PM
I am the same way i do not fit into any of those groups, more like all of them. And i did not follow any of those groups in high school either.
Middle school was a little different i think i changed my look each year.
Now, I am the type of girl that will get dressed up when i feel like but i don't like to spend hours in front of the mirror. But i will also wear t-shirt and jeans, if i feel like it. I like to wear makeup and work on cars with my Dad and boyfriend.
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2004/04/22, 01:35 PM
Just ask her which of the groups have personalities that she can most relate to. Which is nicer, funnier,...etc.
Peer pressure to pick a group sucks...but, remember this is HER reality...for now anyway.
On the weekends she can hang out with a different group that satisfies the other facets of her personality.
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2004/04/22, 04:35 PM
We women are complicated and complex creatures and I havent met a woman yet who falls into one category and one only. Some days I feel like jeans/t shirt/no makeup. Other days I feel like a short skirt, high heels and red nails. And since I go to the gym several times a week and get sweaty lifting heavy, then I guess that covers athletic. In the end I just think of myself as a multi-faceted WOMAN. Being 13 is one of the hardest years in a girls life. All you can do is guide her into knowing herself and who she wants to be. And to call 'friends', the people who like her for being herself.
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~Victoria~
...Do not be discouraged; everyone who got where he is, started where he was.--anon
...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills
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2004/04/22, 11:05 PM
and yet every time you meet someone they are deciding which label to put on you.
Tough to find good, true friends at all, let alone in a new middle school. Girls can be really mean to each other!! That's one thing I really don't remember, the animosity between cliques she tells me about is so.. painful.
She's a beautiful, talented, kindhearted and eager to please.. just can't seem to find herself in all that.
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