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2004/06/16, 08:36 PM
"Have you done your workout today?" "Did you go for a ride today?" "That should be fruit you are eating!" "Why are you eating that?" "Taste one of these banana muffins they are really yummy!"!?!?!
Which of these seem out of place to you?
Ok, so my OH loves me, this I know, without a doubt, so why is he trying to sabotage me? Why does he make me feel so lazy if I have a day off and then bring home food he knows I love but are bad for me? Take the banana muffins for example; serving size 22g, fat content 5.9g. So what is he thinking, because they say banana they are healthy? More than a quarter of the muffin is fat and 4.4g of that fat is saturated!
What's worse is the burger and fries he bought me for dinner! We've run out of gas for cooking so instead of just having leftover meat sandwiches for dinner we have burgers. Now I know I could have had the sandwiches and left him the burger, but it's sitting there, calling me. Bloody bad food and men! Im not sure which is harder to resist.
On the other hand Im very proud of myself! Im eating and drinking everything Im supposed to 99% of the time. I improved on my first workout already. Monday I couldn't do 4 sets of my push ups, never done that many at one time in my life! However, yesterday I did all four sets. I hurt now! God it feels good.
Thanks for letting me vent, I love the man but he drives me crazy! I say get in or get out, but don't keep messing me up. Then he just looks at me with his puppy dog eyes and says "Im sorry I didn't mean it." Grrr!
Donna
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2004/06/16, 10:47 PM
Wow!
You are awesome for being able to stick to eating healthy most of the time. I totally know what it's like when men constantly talk about food, even when you remind them constantly you are eating healthy. It goes in right ear and out the other. Just let him know how you feel, and tell him that when you lose weight, you feel amazing, and sexy... a big plus for him! Let him know that the more he sabotages that, the less inhibited you will be. :) Speak his language.
ps- Is he also working out? If you involve him in your eating and exercise plan, it'll be much easier for the both of you. He'll begin to realize what you are saying.
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2004/06/16, 10:51 PM
Hey, you go girl, you are doing what you need to be doing and maybe with a little knowledge he will get it, it is hard for people that don't think about it or do not have this struggle...yey, most would think, banana muffin, good and good for you! NOT!
Maybe you could try this....I asked my husband to pick me up "natural peanut butter" today...he said, surrreee...(lucky for me he didn't bring home more cheesecake truffles or I would of had to either eat it or throw it at him!) anyway, he brings home "low-fat" peanut butter...ummmmmm, you'd think that would be okay, but then I showed him why it wasn't much better than the regular peanut butter and definately not better than natural. Patiently I showed him where the LABEL was and pointed at the higher carbs in the LOWFAT peanut butter and higher sugar! Yes, the fat was cut in 1/2, but it was still vegetable oils, something I have cut back immensly. So, after some explaining the nutritional differences he said knowingly, "I'll get you some natural stuff tomorrow, k?" and I felt like I accomplished something by showing him why it was important to check out the differences rather than relying on "fat free" "low fat" "low carb" labels.
Your hubby is probably attempting to help you but hasn't figured out how to do it yet, you think?
So, good luck with him and great job on those pushups!
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2004/06/16, 11:14 PM
Thanks Superstartobe, I don't know about awesome but I like the thought! :big_smile: Unfortunately, like everyone here, I have got to the point where if I don't do it right I wont do it at all. Up until 5 months ago I was eating a 250g bar of chocolate a day, plus choc mud cakes and potato crisps. My idea of healthy eating was making sure the bar of choc lasted until night time instead of getting an extra one for desserts. I was 260lb at that point and a short a$$ to boot.
I started working out with my neighbour, who has the same problem, in her home gym and dropped down 6lb in 4 months. I was frustrated it wasn't going fast enough but I didn't really change my diet that much so what else could I expect.
I fell in a heap about 4 weeks ago and only did one workout a week, but started to change my diet a bit instead. I found this site nearly 2 weeks ago now and with all the information on here I've changed my outlook completely. Im happy to say that I feel much better now, my diet comes first and then the exercise. Now I know that if my diet doesn't change then nothing else will.
My OH is a slim man with a fast metabolism who believes he can eat what he wants whenever he wants. However he hasn't got a clue and doesn't like me to give him advice, bit of a dent in the male ego I think. :laugh: I can't try much harder than I have been, he just thinks Im overweight what would I know.
As far as the inhibitions go, he would possibly listen to that, anything to get more s*x I believe. Might give that a go. :)
Donna
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2004/06/16, 11:31 PM
Hi Veda,
I did try the nutrition label, he just looked at me blankly. :laugh: :laugh: I think he is trying to help me in his own funny way, but becoming an exercise nazi isn't going to get him anywhere.
We actually had a funny conversation the other day, I was talking about my boxing lessons, how to do this and that. He got up to show me how he would do it and right from the start his stance was wrong. I didn't realise his reaction to me correcting his stance would be quite so strong! LOL. He told me "This is the way 'I' do it!" I was told by my instructor that boxing isn't interchangable, like you stand with the left foot in front, right foot back and hands up to protect your face. It's just the way you do it.
He stood with his right foot forward and had his hands in the position down at his chest. I thought it would be funny to show him how open his face was for a left jab, unfortunately he didn't find it funny! LOL I didn't hit him, that would be stupid, I just jabbed at his head and his demeanor (sp?) changed immediately. He stood up and just gave me this look, trying to intimidate me. Didn't work of course, he might be stronger than me but doesn't like having s*x by himself.:laugh: I made a joke to lighten the situation and made a mental note to not try anything like that again. LOL.
Anyway, Im still "boxing like a girl" but getting better every day. He can help me or not, doesn't really matter but it would be nice to have him helping instead of hindering.
Oh and by the way, does anyone have any idea on improving my left jab? Apparently I've got a good right but my left is umm I don't think I can say what my instructor said outloud, peepoor, you get the picture? Anyone?
Donna
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2004/06/17, 10:41 AM
Donna - hang in there, it can be very threatening to your husband that you are improving yourself and becoming fitter. (will you still love him, will you leave him behind, are you going to be a different person because you lose weight?) I went through much of that with my husband, even though we were both in shape when we met and we got out-of-shape together. But I got tired of it first and put my foot down. It was very threatening to him.
Allay his fears, tell him you love him, but that you need to do this for yourself.
If he is afraid that being a bolder, stronger woman threatens his dominance, or your relationship, than there may be some issues you need to explore.
Consider it a large personal victory everytime you choose the good food over the bad, especialy when he is offereing sugary, processed crap.
Do some research on the health implications of his lifestyle, even skinny people get cholesterol problems, heart disease, liver damage from poor-quality diets.
Show him some of what you learn. tell him you want to live to a healthy old age - together.
If he can't wrap his head around al that, it may be you do leave him in the dust, maybe he has been keeping you down. I am not trying to be callous, but many overweight women are kept that way by overly controlling men who tell them what to do and squash their self-esteem every chance they get.
Keep up with your boxing - your jab will improve, remember, jab to piss 'em off, finish them with a cross from the core of your body!:)
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If you fall down seven times, get up eight.
\"Inscribe this on the charm that dangles from your navel, girls. Guys, tattoo this on your biceps:
Building muscle and might builds strong minds and character. Respect and humility come from lifting weights and feeding yourself with care. And from these distinguished qualities a great nation of people is built, by God. (Of course the God part is your choice, friend.)\" Dave Draper
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2004/06/17, 07:53 PM
Thank you Asimmer :) I've had some nice long talks with him before. He knows how badly I want this and when I asked for his help he said he would do his best. He used to play football here in aus, AFL, and knows a lot about getting fit. However when I ask him questions he just shrugs his shoulders and tells me he doesn't know. It's frustrating.
Im doing the best I can with the knowledge I have, but thanks to this site Im learning more every day.
He asks me every day if I love him, even though I tell him without provocation nearly every day. He also asks if Im going to leave him nearly every day. I've been with him nearly 8 years now and have two children with him. Im not going anywhere but I don't know how to get it through his head. I make an effort to show him how much I love him as well as telling him but something isn't connecting and after 8 years it's getting a bit much.
Anyway, I'll figure it out some how, maybe when we are both old and grey he will realise I wasn't going to leave him.
Im going to keep going with the boxing, I love it! I've only just started, about 4 months ago and Im still having trouble with a few things. Trying to get my left hook right without breaking my wrist, or losing my balance. :big_smile: Im going to get there though, it's too much fun to give up. Im going to prove my neighbours hubby wrong, he was the one who told me I punch like a girl. I said, "I am a girl! What's your excuse?" :laugh:
Donna
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2004/06/19, 11:25 PM
Dee -
Just remember ram's fist - you keep your forearm parallel to the ground, knuckles on top and aim with the middle knuckle. Aim for an opponent that is in close - by the time you are hooking, he is in your personal space, going for your kidneys. Hit him upside the head, in close to your body. Staying in close will help you keep your balance, so will staying light on your feet. Remember, it confuses your opponent to float - they can;t tell what you are doing next when you are constantly bobing and weaving, light on your toes. Throw every punch from your core - your arm/fist is just an extensions of the power in your core. Your hip should rotate and follow the path of the puch. Keep your abs nice and tight, use them to generate power.
Tell your husband he has self-esteem issues. You can tell him I said it, so it isn't so personal:)
I wish I could find the Girl Fight t-shirts from Everlast - i would send you one in a heartbeat!
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\\"Inscribe this on the charm that dangles from your navel, girls. Guys, tattoo this on your biceps:
Building muscle and might builds strong minds and character. Respect and humility come from lifting weights and feeding yourself with care. And from these distinguished qualities a great nation of people is built, by God. (Of course the God part is your choice, friend.)\\" Dave Draper
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2004/06/20, 08:22 PM
Thanks again Asimmer,
You know you are the first person to describe that to me. I honestly couldn't workout how I was supposed to hook and connect from an arms length away. No one told me it wasn't supposed to be from that distance, even though I'd raised the question so many times. No wonder I was losing my balance!
My instructor has broken down boxing into little segments so I can learn properly, so Im learning how to be light on my feet. It's tough for me, I feel like a whale trying to jump around. I am getting there though, I can feel the difference already.
Im having trouble with rotating my hips with the punch but it's just something Im not used to doing so I will improve that too. Everything is going really well and Im learning even more from you. :big_smile: I think the only thing I have down pat is the one-two in slow motion. :laugh: My instructor puts on the pads and yells instrucions to me and Im confused straight away. "Faster Donna, come on really hit the pads hard and fast!" That is when I fall apart, too much practise in slow motion and not enough fast and hard. It is lots of fun though.
Thanks again,
Donna
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2004/06/21, 10:42 AM
Keep it up - it will get better - you are doing awesome!!!
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\\"Inscribe this on the charm that dangles from your navel, girls. Guys, tattoo this on your biceps:
Building muscle and might builds strong minds and character. Respect and humility come from lifting weights and feeding yourself with care. And from these distinguished qualities a great nation of people is built, by God. (Of course the God part is your choice, friend.)\\" Dave Draper
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2004/06/21, 06:42 PM
It's nice to hear someone else boxing, I really enjoy it, it makes me "feel" stronger each time I nail that bag! It has been my best asset as far as ridding myself of stress. My 14 year old keeps teasing me about hitting like a girl, but this girl can hit that bag for nearly 30 minutes now and very hard with great control, whereas before I could barely move it and I was more pushing it than punching it and I use no gloves, I wrap my hands.
Is your trainer expensive? I would love to go to a trainer and one of my son's friend knows of one but around here they would probably refuse to train me as I'm a girl.
Sounds like you are doing very well and with boxing, if your like me, you will learn to enjoy it more and more every day!
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2004/06/21, 09:20 PM
Thanks Asimmer :big_smile:
Veda my trainer costs me $8.00 per session. Very reasonable I think. He's working with me to improve my fitness as well as learning boxing and his wife is a wonderful help too. We do rotations of boxing (different bags) and little hand weights. Gees those little weights can kill you when you have 2 minutes boxing then 2 minutes weights. By the time the two hour session is up my shoulders are complaining and threatening to leave! I almost look forward to doing my two minute sprint on the stationary bike. :laugh: Almost!
You know those little bouncy bag thingys? I haven't a clue what they are called but they are secured at each end with a rope or chain, one end to the floor and the other end to the ceiling? They hit you back! I've practised and practised but my hand/eye coordination needs some serious work!
I love it all and really look forward to a workout, which is something I never would have said 6 months ago. It's very true, if you find something you love to do then exercise is so much easier.
Talking about exercise, I guess I better get up and go for a ride now the rain has stopped. :)
Donna
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2004/06/22, 12:58 AM
That sounds like so much fun! Well, except the pain part, of course! I always punch with wrist weights on, my smarty 14 yo said I was cheating as they were helping me to punch the bag harder - he is so supportive, lol!! The added weight makes a difference, your right! WOW, two hours?! That's great!
I just have one of those red bags that are like 4 feet long and very large chained to the ceiling. I would like to get that little bouncy bag thing!
Well, I hope I can find someone as reasonable, well, even one that would train a girl around here would be a find!
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2004/06/22, 01:56 AM
Sounds like you are going great guns Veda! Im sure you will find someone who wants to train a girl. Just ask around, now days it certainly isn't that unusual.
We use one of the bags you are talking about. They have three others as well, the horrible little bouncy thing, a really long one that wont move at all, at least when "I" hit it, and another one just a little smaller than the four foot one.
They have mirrors all over the place too, so you can shadow box, but ICK! I watch myself jumping around, trying to lighten myself on me feet. It's really not a good look. I can't imagine what I would have looked like when I first started watching what Im eating and trying to get in some more exercise.
I don't think using wrist weights is cheating. I use pretty big gloves that seem to weigh a ton and you don't use gloves so I think that evens it out. :dumbbell:
Keep up the good work, it's a heap of fun.
Donna
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2004/06/22, 09:26 AM
The bouncy one is called a headache bag, you can guess why... FUN!
Veda - I can't believe someone won't train you because you are a girl!
Keep it up, both of you!
I am not sure of the benefit of wearing wrist weights when boxing - seems like unneccesary strain on your elbows/joints, but Dee had a agood pint that the gloves do weigh some.. If you start having joint pain, take off those wrist weights.
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\\"Inscribe this on the charm that dangles from your navel, girls. Guys, tattoo this on your biceps:
Building muscle and might builds strong minds and character. Respect and humility come from lifting weights and feeding yourself with care. And from these distinguished qualities a great nation of people is built, by God. (Of course the God part is your choice, friend.)\\" Dave Draper
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2004/06/22, 07:11 PM
A headache bag! I know why it's called that. :big_smile: It's a good thing to help you with your ducking and weaving though, if you don't move after you hit it, it comes back and smacks you in the face. :laugh: :laugh:
Im sure someone will want to train Veda, if she can hit the bag for half an hour in one go she's doing damn well. My shoulders start complaining after about ten minutes.
Thanks Asimmer :)
Donna
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