Group: Women's Club

Created: 2011/12/31, Members: 528, Messages: 10844

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I look like a dude, guys... little help?

QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/06/30, 05:40 PM
Okay, here's the deal, my adductor muscle (the outer thigh) is pretty bulky. Not too huge, but bulky, y'know? Also, you know those muscles on guys' necks that they have? Well I have them too! Anyone know how to DESTROY them? (Or at least make them die down just a little bit???) Should I stop using 8 to 10 pounds when I do squats, lunges, dips, and 'tall box' work? (Basically the same as dips except on a big wooden stool thingy about fourteen inches high). Will that make the muscle in my legs get better? Please help! I'm a tomboy and I get made fun of enough as it is, people call me dike and stuff all the time (which I don't really care about, I have nothing against homosexuality, and I don't care what they say about me) But my family and best friends say I look like a guy! Save me! Saaave meeee!!! (Please. ^_^)
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/06/30, 05:58 PM
hey, i get called sir at least once a day if it makes you feel any better. at least you can wear women's clothes. it's hard to find stuff that fits when you've got 44.5 inch shoulders and a 28.5 inch waist.

let me say this - if you don't find anything wrong with the way you look, screw the people who say you look like a guy. personally, i think i have a beautiful, unique body, and i don't care if i get called sir because i've been asked to do androdgenous modeling more times than i can count. it's all about self confidence. don't let others deetermine how you see yourself.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
the_cupcake
the_cupcake
Posts: 348
Joined: 2004/06/16
Philippines
2004/06/30, 07:50 PM
ya know...I bet you that those people who call you that are at some point envious or intimidated by you, that's why they make fun of you and that's all the more reason why you should continue being you, and keep on doing what you think is good for you & what you like for yourself.

but if you yourself want to change the way you look because you think it doesn't suit --your-- personal taste, then do some running on top of your routine, they're bound to give you that definition and make your thighs look leaner and longer, less bulky. as for the traps, I think that's what you're referring to? don't go too heavy on the shrugs. :)

hope it helps.

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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/06/30, 07:54 PM
good call on dropping the shrugs cupcake. i actually had to start cutting shrugs and heavy vertical rows from my shoulder routine because they really didn't need to get any bigger.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/01, 10:30 AM
Well I have 41 or so shoulders and 28 or so waist, so yeah, even I think I'm ugly. I know it's a beautiful and unique bodytype or whatever, but I don't want it. I know there's nothing I can do to change my bodytype, and it's probably not in anyone's best interests if I just kick everyone who calls me a dike or guy's asses, but maybe if I slim down as much as I can, I'll finally be all better. v.v'Also, what's a shrug??? O.o
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/01, 02:39 PM
shrugs are when you hold weights with your arms straight and just lift, or "shrug," your shoulders.

just to let you know, the more you slim down, the broader your shoulders will look. and let me just say this - when you say that even you think you're ugly and you just told me that your measurements are not much different than mine, i take a little bit of offense, i'm not going to lie. does that mean i'm a nasty ogre? let's hope not.

bottom line - you think you're ugly because people have told you that. i think if you start thinking more independently you'll have a different perspective. you're only as beautiful as YOU think you are, not what somebody else sees you as being. excuse my bluntness, but get some self-confidence and you'll feel a lot better.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
DanielJLove
DanielJLove
Posts: 320
Joined: 2004/03/30
United States
2004/07/01, 03:18 PM
I am going to take a stab in the dark here. I know that this is the female forum, but your post grabbed my attention. I read your profile and coupled with what you have said here I am a little concerned.

If I had to guess, based on your measurements, you probably don't have a lot of bodyfat. Your perfectionism can lead to some problems, especially in the area of your body. Take a break, take a step back and be realistic about your goals and where you are going. I think part of your concerns may be addressed by researching what a normal body fat for a woman is. It may be possible that you are lacking bodyfat, and this could be what is creating a more androgenous look for you (lack of breast tissue, hip tissue ect.)

Also you state in your profile that your family never sees you eat, is concerned that you aren't eating enough, that you hate working out, and you still do it to much. I don't know the exact circumstances in your situation, but many times families get concerned, especially parents due to thier experiences. They may see something that you haven't grabbed onto yet. Eat your meals with them, talk to them and try to understand where they are coming from.

Working out needs to be enjoyable, and at least tolerable. If you are to the point that you hate it (I have been there) you may be doing to much or need some variety. Make sure that you enjoy what you are doing or you won't be able to stick with it for the long run.

Last thing then I will bow out. You are 17. Be careful that you don't make decisions now that will harm your future. You may not grow any taller, but you are still developing. Your hips will possibly get bigger, your breast tissue may grow, and your hormones will continue to change. Please do not get so caught up in what you think is perfect that you don't allow your body to become what it is supposed to be.

There is beauty in every "body", it is a matter of recognizing it and allowing it to show.

Please, keep your head up, wear a smile and be proud of who you are and who you become. Furthermore, piss on anyone that works to tear you down (caveat here: suggestions from your parents may seem that way sometimes, but be sure to really think about them before throwing them in the toss away column. Hormones can do crazy things to our emotions and our ears.)

Well, good luck and I hope you find beauty in yourself, and then others will be able to find it as well.

Daniel Love
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/01, 03:30 PM
excellent post, daniel. i hadn't taken time to analyze her profile.

he's exactly right, i don't think i can add much to what he's said, but putting your situation in that perspective, i understand where you're coming from. when i was in high school i was the same way, and it never made me anything but miserable. i was a 6-sport athlete on top of being an a-student among other thigns, and i felt like the only area where i was a failure was my body. now i realize that i have something that is to be extremely proud of and i put a lot of work into maintaining what i've been blessed with.

if you ever want the advice of someone who's been to hell and back on the road you're on, feel free to message me.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/01, 08:02 PM
Howdiekat, I meant no offense, I swear, I think strong women are beautiful (not gay, btw- nothing against it, not bi too >_< I shouldn't have to say this, society shouldn't care!!! ), it's just I want to be strong, but still feminine looking, (if that's possible >_<). I'm just short, so I look funky, I guess... Anyway, I don't think I'm ugly because of what others say, I don't care what they say- many think I'm fat and I know I'm not fat, just funny looking, lol, I think I'm ugly because I can look in the mirror and I don't look how I want to look.
DanielJLove, I can't eat with my parents because my dad will complain that I'm not eating what they eat, and they eat fatening foods because we're in poverty and well- fatty foods are cheap. v.v' Also, my body fat percentage is 17 or 18%, and I thought that was low, but then a guy (girl? I can't remember>_<) told me that I fall under the catagory of athlete and that I can lower it to 12 percent. I enjoyed reading your post, thank you very much.
Howdiekat again, thank you for your offer, and yeah, I hate shrugs, lol, I won't do them anymore- I thought they were making my neck bigger >_<.
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/01, 08:11 PM
questix, i'm at 23% bf and people say i'm skinny. ripped, but skinny. when i played sports year-round i was actually bigger than i am now, yet only 16% bf. still, i was very thin and lean. when your body fat drops that low you'll intterupt all of your hormone balances. if you're concerned with femininity and female functions don't drop too low because you'll really lose it then. i didn't have my period for 16 months - not a good thing.

i'm obviously not going to be able to change your mind about this, you seem very set in your opinion, but please be careful. like i said, i've been on this road before and i know how it starts out. you're at the beginning, please don't go too far.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/01, 08:13 PM
Eh? I don't understand, what're you suggesting? I want definition, I just don't want to be all bulky, you know?
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/01, 08:25 PM
what i'm suggesting is that at 17% you're bf is right where it should be. unless you're in a bodybuilding competition you have no reason to need to go any lower. for definition do 12-15 reps with a weight heavy enough to make you work on the last few reps. usually you can do 3-4 sets at this range and see an increase in tone. at 17% you don't need to worry about shedding fat to see definition, it will come with working the muscles.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/01, 08:31 PM
Well I do 16 reps with 8 pounds on my shoulders, biceps, and chest, (and do a variety of different inds of exercises or lifts or whatever) and I use ten pounds for my triceps (still 16 reps- i do 16 reps for everything except my abs, i like the number 16- i wanna be 16 again >_<), and I use eighteen pounders when I work my back.
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/01, 08:48 PM
you're weights are way too light. make sure you really have to push yourself to get through a set. don't do the same weight over and over again.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/02, 06:25 AM
Really? My mom says that if I go up anymore, I'll bulk up (like i'm not all ready there), so you think it'd be okay if i switched all the eights to tens and tens to twelves? Or should I go higher and do twelves and fourteens? It might take a little getting used to, but I can adapt...
the_cupcake
the_cupcake
Posts: 348
Joined: 2004/06/16
Philippines
2004/07/02, 09:32 AM
one thing the human body is good at is adapting, so if you keep on doing your workouts with the same weight and not challenge them by trying a different routine, intensity etc etc...then your body -will- get used to whatever stress you put it through and then you won't be getting results. Plus, due to genetics, a woman can't really bulk up naturally. we need higher testosterone levels. :) and at 17% bf? man...my aim is 18%.

Plus I betcha not many 17 year old kids can do what you do :) so be proud about yourself

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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
hecdarec
hecdarec
Posts: 2,457
Joined: 2003/12/16
United States
2004/07/02, 09:37 AM
I can't get that damn Aerosmith song out of my head.

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This message has been approved by the moderators. If you have a problem with it please contact Asimmer.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/02, 07:03 PM
Well I bulk, I know that >_<. Not too huge, not like a guy I guess, but even my brother commented yesterday on how he finally realized I could beat him up (He's just now realizing this??? What a blow to my ego...) because of how muscular I am, also, you wanna know something weird? At my school, the majority of the girls are super skinny. As in put both hands around their waists without having to squeeze hard skinny... It would seem unhealthy to hear of, but it seems to be how their body types are. Most of them have super fast matobolisms, so I'm not jealous or anything, I have to work for what I've got, and I'll keep working no matter what, but I just don't understand how a person can eat all they want, never workout, and still be THAT skinny... it's creepy... oh well tho, lucky them ^_^'
the_cupcake
the_cupcake
Posts: 348
Joined: 2004/06/16
Philippines
2004/07/02, 07:55 PM
which aerosmith song hec? I have...that damned britney toxic sound in my ears..it's becoming scary

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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/02, 07:57 PM
i belive hec is referring to "dude looks like a lady." correct me if i'm wrong.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
the_cupcake
the_cupcake
Posts: 348
Joined: 2004/06/16
Philippines
2004/07/02, 08:00 PM
:laugh::laugh: howdie yeah I'd forgotten that song.

and questix: they might be lucky but hey in the long run, they'll develop a whole lot more bad habits as opposed to the discipline that you have.

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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/02, 08:31 PM
first of all, you should not be able to have anyone fit their hands around your waist unless you are a newborn. the only exception is if you are being groped by andre the giant, god rest his soul.

second of all - and i can only say this so many times without turning blue, so i'm going to try to make this be the last - be happy with what kind of body type you have because you can't change what you were given so wishing you were a toothpick is pointless. work it and own it girl.

last of all, i'm going to go ahead and guess that you're mom's knowledge of what will make you bulk is pretty dim because of what you've told us in another post about your parents trying to "fatten you up." i will venture to say that your parents know absolutely nothing about the fitness and nutrition realm. cupcake is right about women not being able to get as bulky as men. we simply cannot produce the testosterone necessary to do so. in order to do any kind of bulking, you would have to keep your reps in the 6-10 area and perform 4-5 sets with heavy weights in this range AND have proper mass building nutrition. if you keep your reps between 12-15 for 3-4 sets with moderately heavy weights you will not see an addition of any muscle bulk, just a maintenance of the muscle. for as athletic as you say you are, doing weight training with the weights you are using is absolutely useless.

my advice to you is to tell us more about what your workout program is, especially where you do it. that will help us a lot in determining how to help you.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/02, 10:20 PM
No, my dad's the one who's trying to fatten me up, and my mom's pretty smart about this kinda stuff- if at any time the things I say she says seem dumb, it's probably because I misunderstood her, she's helped me more than anyone else ever could, I guess it's a mom thing, but it helps that she's really smart, anyway, enough being mommy's girl, lol, I usually get up at four in the morning and do aerobics or a lower body workout to a video, then I do Gilad's bodies in motion at 5 because I love it so much (only workout I actually like, lol), then I do weight training from 5:30 to 6:30, and then I'm hungry again so I goof off or go online to procrastinate eating while I give myself a break from working out, then I get back into it with a FIRM video combining cardio and weight lifting circuit training for about an hour. When I do that, it's usually when I'm working out every other day (tho I do aerobics and abs everyday), and I'll throw in a half an hour of floor work (butt, abs, thighs, y'know?), but lately I've been doing lower body one day, upper body the next. I workout basically when I want to and do aerobics for 60 minutes, then weight training for sixty, and then a video later. If it's my lower bod day, I'll do aerobics for an hour, then the lower body split (I stopped doing weights with it tho- it's a FIRM workout with tons of lunges, pliei's, squats, dips, and box work), and a nice stretch at the end. Then I'll do a half hour of floor work later and be happy that I don't have to do anymore for the day, but lately, working out has gotten to be very stressful, and I wind up procrastinating and dreading it all day...
howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/02, 10:36 PM
if your mom is guiding you to workout as much as you are, my assumption was correct. even if you think your mom knows a lot because she has told you to do all of this and you trust her, everyone on this board who knows anything about excersise and lifting will tell you that you're way overdoing it. just because your mom tells you something doesn't mean she's right. if she had accurate knowledge she'd be helping you by telling you to stop that routine and start being practical.

i can't sit down and completely analyze how to fix this right now because i'm at work, but i'll get back to it later. this is a disaster.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/02, 10:36 PM
I get the energy from inspiration! I just want to do my best!!!! Not... I'm actually a freak, I dunno where I get the energy... I suck on other teenagers' necks with my energy-draining fangs and use their energy! Well I certainly feel energetic right now- maybe I should go workout... I only had four hours of sleep last night, I'm sure to konk out at anytime- is it true that you should give yourself a day off every once and a while? I think I'm taking today off because I haven't done anything yet. v.v' Oh well- I'll work double as hard tomorrow I guess- maybe squeeze some ab work while I'm down here in the dark... goodnight. v.v < Zzzzzz
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/02, 10:38 PM
No disaster- mom and dad both say I workout too much, but I kinda trapped my body into needing that much exercise just to feel like I've gotten a workout in...
asimmer
asimmer
Posts: 8,201
Joined: 2003/01/07
United States
2004/07/02, 10:44 PM
Umm, you are pulling our leg about how much exercise you do, right?

I think you need to seek help for exercise addiction and probably anorexia nervosa, but that is just my opinion (oh, and I do have a degree in fitness/health and know enough about it that you should probably listen).
It seems to me you have come here hoping to find support for your disordered eating and over-exercising and bodyimage problems. many people have tried to help you and offer good advice, but you continue to justify your behavior and ignore their advice.

Seek professional help, I don't think Mom knows what is really going on, or if she does than she doesn't know as much as you think.

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\"Inscribe this on the charm that dangles from your navel, girls. Guys, tattoo this on your biceps:

Building muscle and might builds strong minds and character. Respect and humility come from lifting weights and feeding yourself with care. And from these distinguished qualities a great nation of people is built, by God. (Of course the God part is your choice, friend.)\" Dave Draper

howdiekat
howdiekat
Posts: 1,345
Joined: 2003/05/22
United States
2004/07/02, 10:47 PM
alright, it is becoming more and more clear to me that this is a deep seated issue that probably needs to be handled by a professional therapist. what you are doing is not healthy, regardless of how much energy you think you have. what you do have is an unhealthy addiction. i have been told i work out too much and i only do 45-75 minutes 5 days a week. that is nothing compared to what you do.

bottom line, you need to stop everything that you're doing. it is extremely unhealthy and you're going to make yourself sick both physically and mentally.

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i wish you ill, ice-t.
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/02, 11:09 PM
Holy crap, you guys are starting to freak me out! Why're you all talkin to me like I did something bad? What'd I do? I don't workout too much, sometimes I don't even finish, I swear! I stop when my body says to, and I always pace myself, like u said, Howdiekat, I use light dumbells... my parents told me the same things you guys told me, I don't have anorexia and I'm not in denial, I'm just trying to tone up... I workout a lot because there's a lot to do, floor work shapes the butt, waist, and thighs, that's half an hour of toning, it's not strenuous! Aerobics can be jogging in place, doing fun little aerobic thingies to a movie or just with my sister to a CD or stair climbing for an hour, it's fun (to an extent), and the movies give you breaks of course, as well... plus an hour of weight training is typical... it's not like it's all out aerobics and weights for three hours straight, I'm not a duphas, silly-heads... I'm just doing what my body says it needs in order to get fit... amen't I? >_< Wai! You guys are scaring me. v.v'
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/02, 11:34 PM
Tease me? I guesso... I do everything fast, I walk, talk, and type fast. I'm living life in the fast zone! I'm sorry... I'll try not to talk so much... v.v':(
the_cupcake
the_cupcake
Posts: 348
Joined: 2004/06/16
Philippines
2004/07/03, 12:00 PM
i therefore conclude that: "patience is a virtue, seldom found in humans, but never in a duck." dear powers that be, please grant this humbled duck some patience...

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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/05, 02:34 PM
U didn't hurt my feelings, Bhardy, issokay! Eh... cupcake is talking about patience and ducks and stuff... well while we're on the subject of patience, how long does it take before you finally start losing fat? I don't see any results yet. v.v' Maybe it's a mental thing... oh well... I want a duck... and a cupcake. >_< I hate 'watching what I eat'.
the_cupcake
the_cupcake
Posts: 348
Joined: 2004/06/16
Philippines
2004/07/05, 08:15 PM
I'm with howdie and the rest of them guys. Let up or you're body is gonna give you a helluva payback. I will not comment further. This is tiring.

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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
DanielJLove
DanielJLove
Posts: 320
Joined: 2004/03/30
United States
2004/07/06, 11:07 AM
QuesTix,

If you are a little scared, that is normal. However, that is not an excuse. Fear is often related to lack of knowledge. Many of the people on this board have tried to hint and push you in the right direction, but it is hard to except information from people you don't know, especially when it is contrary to what you think your family is telling you. So this is what I want you to do...if you can muster the bravery to do it.

At your age I would suspect you still have a pediatrician, general practitioner, or obstetrician. Make an appointment with one of these doctors or have your mother sign you up for a yearly physical. Then print off this entire thread, go to that doctor, let him or her read it, and explain to the doctor what you are doing for exercise and diet. Then, and this is the most important part, do what the doctor says to do.

I don't live with you, and I don't know your habits personally, but coming from a registered nurse (that's me) it sounds like you could have a problem. Your strive for perfection can be dangerous if not kept in check.

Daniel Love
QuesTix
QuesTix
Posts: 33
Joined: 2004/06/30
United States
2004/07/08, 08:32 AM
I'm sorry for all of you guys who annoyed. DanielJLove, I don't have any doctors at all, I don't care if my age suggests I should, I don't have any of those fancy things, so I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and pushing myself for the summer, then when school starts up, I'll take a week off, get my body used to doing minor things, then make it difficult for myself to do normal stuff, that way I'll get stuff out of that. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with being a little ambitious, and I promise I'll listen to what my body tells me. I won't screw up. I'm not oging to post at this board anymore, it takes up too much time, and I'm just not very into it anymore. Thanks for everyone who put up with me. ^_^. It was fun for a bit! Good luck to all of you, and I pray that you all lead healthy and happy lives. Sore ja. :)
tsheff1
tsheff1
Posts: 16
Joined: 2003/04/01
United States
2004/08/05, 03:27 AM
When I was in highschool (I'm 35 now), I played sports year round. We had 2 to 5 hours of practice 5 days a week, unless we had games. Games were an easy day! For Cross-country we mostly ran (of course), but we also did a little stretching and weights. For softball (I was a pitcher) we ran a little, a little weights and of course the softball part! Basketball was the toughest. Running, weights, tons of drills, and of course the actual game!
QuesTix - Do you play any sports in school?