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2004/08/04, 11:03 AM
OK , if you guys make this depressing like the athiest post I'm just gonna post lousy ones from now on.
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
Is it mine?"
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
The blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."
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Waterskis with buffalos
Charlie
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2004/08/04, 11:53 AM
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Charlie you are the best!
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2004/08/04, 10:08 PM
Wow, those blondes are soooo smart! :surprised:
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Seeking out motivation does not motivate you to seek out results.
- Paul
Post mark - PaulsMark - Post mark
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2004/08/05, 03:35 AM
Here's one to go with charlie's
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know Five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl. 2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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2004/08/05, 06:09 AM
:laugh::laugh::laugh: Funny jokes - keep em comin!
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2004/08/05, 08:37 AM
Those are hill-air-e-us. Sorry I can't spell that I am blonde so I had to sound it out.
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Dont Expect Results, Earn Them!
Lance
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2004/08/05, 09:09 AM
Here is a good one:
http://homepage.mac.com/icerabbit/websites/icerabbit/iblog/C912496516/E533498514/
Click on the play button under the mic.
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Dont Expect Results, Earn Them!
Lance
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2004/08/13, 06:34 PM
I think I know the person you are talking about.
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2004/08/15, 06:47 PM
I am deeply offended by this post and I think Charlie should be ashamed of himself for posting it. Sickening, just sickening.
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You can cover up the flaws on your body, but there is no hiding a flawed personality.
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2004/08/15, 07:38 PM
Funny hec, you don't look blond in your pix. IM me and I can explain them to you.
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Waterskis with buffalo
Charlie
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2004/08/15, 11:03 PM
I used to be blond but now I'm balding - you want to make fun of me too? Charlie - why don't you just piss off everybody? :laugh:
Seriously - you are great!
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2004/08/18, 02:26 PM
You need sound for this one. I can only vouch for the blondstar waves. If you further explore the site you may be offended .http://www.smartelic.com/
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Waterskis with buffalo
Charlie
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2004/08/18, 02:42 PM
Those are funny!!!
Thanks, Charlie!
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I will never grow up, just old.
Jonathan
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2004/08/21, 11:03 AM
im blonde, damn you charlie, damn you all:angry:
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dooby doo doo
A.D.F.
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2004/08/21, 01:15 PM
I'm blonde by choice of highlights!! :)
I have duh moments no matter what hair color. HEHEHE
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2004/08/21, 03:19 PM
I'm blonde too, but the jokes are all about girls, so it doesn't bother me. The women are the only ditzy blondes
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I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious.
--Vince Lombardi
"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." H. L. Hunt
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2004/08/21, 04:56 PM
Blond Guy Joke for arondaballer
3 guys working at a construction site - one is Mexican, second is French and the third is blonde.
Ond day during lunch at the top of a skyscraper the Mexican guy proclaims that if his wife makes him another burrito for lunch he is going to jump.
The French man then proclaims that if his wife makes him Escargot again he is going to jump
The Blonde then procleams that if his wife makes him another bologna sandwich he is going to jump as well.
The next day rolls around and it is time for lunch. The Mexican guy looks at his lunch sees a burrito and jumps to his death. The French man see Escargot and jumps to his death and the blonde sees a bologna sandwich and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral all the wives were deeply saddened and with much regret the Mexican wife confesses that if she had known of her late husbands dislike of burritos she wouldn't put them in his lunch. The French mans wife said the same about the Escargot. The wife of the blonde looked confused and told the other two wifes that her husband made his own lunch
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There is no substitute for hard work
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2004/08/21, 06:19 PM
Priceless!!!! :laugh::laugh::laugh:
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2004/08/21, 11:40 PM
lol I shoulda known it was comin......it's all good I know I'm not that way.
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I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious.
--Vince Lombardi
"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." H. L. Hunt
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