Group: All Else Lounge

Created: 2011/12/31, Members: 42, Messages: 22740

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Kids say the funniest things

fryer91
fryer91
Posts: 441
Joined: 2003/09/29
United States
2004/09/15, 09:29 AM
KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old, Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen."
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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one.
The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime,
she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation,"
she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.
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One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are
sleeping."
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Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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Where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
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A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
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Jesus' Dad's Name?
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?" The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''
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:big_smile::(:)
Pritchard
Pritchard
Posts: 1,212
Joined: 2004/03/02
United Kingdom
2004/09/15, 03:38 PM
my mates little brother used to call me a p###y f####r.

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guns dont kill people, rappers do
call the police, woo woo woo.

stay dumb, you know it makes no sense.

This site is best viewed on a monitor connected to a computer.

comment in my damn profile already.

A.D.F.
DaniDIEt
DaniDIEt
Posts: 93
Joined: 2004/07/13
United States
2004/09/16, 08:05 AM
When my son was was 3, he came into the room almost in tears and looked at my husband and I, and said, "Mom! Dad! my penis is broken!" We were like What?? And he said, "It has a hole in it!."
livers20
livers20
Posts: 220
Joined: 2004/05/13
United States
2004/09/16, 08:11 AM
My three you old nephew was in his grandpa's truck with him and were going thru McDonalds drive thru cause he was hungry and wanted some chicken nuggets. They pull up to the window and the lady behind the windows says it will be just one minute. Luckily the window was closed cause imagine a three year old Mcully Culkin from Home Alone looking over and screaming "Move it B****H. When I heard that story I about pee'd my pants.

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Dont Expect Results, Earn Them!

Lance
livers20
livers20
Posts: 220
Joined: 2004/05/13
United States
2004/09/16, 08:12 AM
Of course if that was my kid I would be imbarresed as hell but my nephew is so cute and innocent looking and to hear him talk like that cracks me up.

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Dont Expect Results, Earn Them!

Lance
Pritchard
Pritchard
Posts: 1,212
Joined: 2004/03/02
United Kingdom
2004/09/16, 12:08 PM
what is the b****h word?

--------------
guns dont kill people, rappers do
call the police, woo woo woo.

stay dumb, you know it makes no sense.

This site is best viewed on a monitor connected to a computer.

comment in my damn profile already.

A.D.F.