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2004/10/07, 11:11 AM
What are your opinions on housework? I just recently got married and I am confused as to what I should do around the house. Do you guys think that the women should do most of the work, or should we share, or should I?
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2004/10/07, 11:33 AM
Bro,
I am not sure what culture you are writing from, but here in America the days of house chores being the womans domain are gone. Go wash the dishes and pick up your underwear, you just becam domestic. She's your wife, not your mom.
Daniel
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2004/10/07, 11:39 AM
<----stands in complete and utter admiration of Daniel, The Man God of Domesticated Duties.:love:
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair....
A morning without coffee is like something without something else....
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2004/10/07, 11:43 AM
Exactly! Remember this: You and she have different ideas of what is required, important, and low priority. You need to talk about these lists (maybe even write them out individually first) now so there is no built up frustration about "Why doesn't he do this?" or "Why does she care about that?" down the road.
I do the laundry and help with the dishes, but I neglect the bathrooms, the counters, and the floors. My wife, on the other hand, will do the laundry if she ABSOLUTELY has to, but would bleach the counter-tops and bathrooms daily, if she had the time. We both leave the floor for the other person, and end up picking up the piles together on the weekends.
Before we wrote our lists, we would just get upset at each other for not doing things the way "I" wanted them done. I said how much I did, she said, "I don't care about those. I want you to do these." I said, "Ok. Well, I care about this and that." Our house isn't perfect, but it's running a lot more smoothly now. (Plus, we have the kids helping out more now also.)
It's a cliche, I know, but communication really is a HUGE part of marriage. Good luck, work hard. Marriage really is a blesing.
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I will never grow up, just old.
Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
- Carl Zwanzig
Jonathan
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2004/10/07, 11:45 AM
Could be his mom Daniel. What state are you from Bro??
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Quoting from DanielJLove:
Bro,
I am not sure what culture you are writing from, but here in America the days of house chores being the womans domain are gone. Go wash the dishes and pick up your underwear, you just becam domestic. She's your wife, not your mom.
Daniel
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
Charlie
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2004/10/07, 11:52 AM
Charlie,
I have to admit, that was a possibility that I had not considered. Thanks for pointing it out.
Daniel
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2004/10/07, 11:59 AM
OK Bro I see that you are looking for someone to mentor you and I think I may just the man for the job. First let's start off with my list of your responsibilites as a new husband.
1) You are responsible for letting your wife know when the sink is getting full.
2) You are responsible for warning your wife about the stained underwear in the dirty clothes pile, before she does your laundry.
3) You do not have to tell her when you are about to have an orgasm, or where it is going to land.
4) It is your responsibility to have your grocery list prepared for Sunday's football day, so she can pick up your shit before the game.
5) It is your responsibility to wear a rubber when you are with other women.
6) It is your responsibility to tell her that the car needs gas.
7) You are responsible for ensuring that her paycheck gets deposited into your account and that she gets a 20 dollar allowance for food and water.
8) You are solely responsible for making sure that the urine lands on the floor when you pee, so that she will have a reason for scrubbing the toilet on Saturday mornings.
9) You need to let her know in advance that you are going to be going away for the weekend, so she can watch the kids.
10) You and only you are responsible for ensuring that she does not look fat in her dress. So be sure to keep feedings at a minimum.
This is the beginning of my sound advice. Be sure to ask plenty of questions.
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You can cover up the flaws on your body, but there is no hiding a flawed personality.
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2004/10/07, 12:32 PM
wow! what a fountain of knowledge.
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*AIM HIGH, AND YOULL SHOOT THE STARS
*AIM LOW, AND YOULL SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT.
A.D.F.
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2004/10/07, 12:42 PM
NOT SO FAST PRITCHARD, PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLOWING:
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Quoting from hecdarec:
1) You are responsible for letting your wife know when the sink is getting full.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO NOT PUT FOOD INTO THE DISHES THAT SHE HAS TO WASH.
2) You are responsible for warning your wife about the stained underwear in the dirty clothes pile, before she does your laundry.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO REFOLD THOSE AND PUT THEM BACK IN YOUR DRAWER, SHIT STAIN AND ALL.
3) You do not have to tell her when you are about to have an orgasm, or where it is going to land.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO LEAVE YOU TO YOUR HAND, AFTER ALL, THE MECHANICAL BOYFRIEND IS MORE PREDICTABLE AND RELIABLE THAN THE MAJORITY OF HUSBANDS.
4) It is your responsibility to have your grocery list prepared for Sunday's football day, so she can pick up your shit before the game.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO GET DIP AND NO CHIPS AND TO FORGET TO PUT YOUR BEER IN THE FRIDGE.
5) It is your responsibility to wear a rubber when you are with other women.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO CUT YOUR DICK OFF OR SLEEP WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR RETRIBUTION.
6) It is your responsibility to tell her that the car needs gas.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO PUT SUGAR IN YOUR GAS TANK.
7) You are responsible for ensuring that her paycheck gets deposited into your account and that she gets a 20 dollar allowance for food and water.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO SAY F____ YOU BECAUSE SHE MAKES MORE MONEY THAN YOU.
8) You are solely responsible for making sure that the urine lands on the floor when you pee, so that she will have a reason for scrubbing the toilet on Saturday mornings.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO MAKE YOU HOLD HER AND TALK AFTER SEX BECAUSE SHE FEELS OVERWORKED AND DISRESPECTED.
9) You need to let her know in advance that you are going to be going away for the weekend, so she can watch the kids.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO MAKE YOU PAY AS MUCH SUPPORT AS POSSIBLE FOR THOSE CHILDREN AFTER SHE DUMPS YOU FOR A MAN THAT WILL TAKE HER WITH ON THE WEEKEND TRAVELS.
10) You and only you are responsible for ensuring that she does not look fat in her dress. So be sure to keep feedings at a minimum.
AND HER PEROGATIVE TO GO TO THE GYM AND GET ULTRA FABULOUS ONLY TO HAVE YOU FIND HER WITH THAT ILL FITTING DRESS HIKED UP OVER HER HEAD AT THE HANDS OF THE HOT PERSONAL TRAINER. MALE OR FEMALE, DOESN'T MATTER....EITHER WAY YOU WILL NOT BE INVITED.
This is the beginning of my sound advice. Be sure to ask plenty of questions.
MY REBUTTLE IS COMPLETE.
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2004/10/07, 12:44 PM
Who let the chick in here?
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I have a bowel movement every morning at 9:00am sharp.
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2004/10/07, 12:45 PM
And.......There you go.
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2004/10/07, 12:47 PM
I am still speechless:angry:!!!!!!!! But, here goes. I think in any healthy relationship every thing should be shared. Each person should give 100% to their relationship. Decisions, housework, child raising(when that time comes),expenses etc should be shared. If you don't work, and your wife does then of course you should do more of the household chores, and vice versa. Like Jonathon stated do a mutually agreed upon list. Congrats on your marriage, may the honeymoon last forever.....:love:
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2004/10/07, 12:49 PM
dfly411 you go girl :big_smile:
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2004/10/07, 12:51 PM
first of all, i will volunteer to be dfly's personal trainer.
second, hec, what can i say about that new signature besides...i love it.
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i wish you ill, ice-t.
margarine is a liar who announces, "i am butter!"
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2004/10/07, 12:55 PM
There is no debating Dfly. She wears the pants.
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I have a bowel movement every morning at 9:00am sharp.
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2004/10/07, 01:07 PM
And thats the way it is October 7 2004. Welcome to FT, Bro!!!!!
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
Charlie
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2004/10/07, 02:05 PM
And they all will live happily ever after!:love:
Go do the dishes Bro!
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"A will finds a way, failure is not an option"
Ivan
carivan@freetrainers.com
Montreal Canada
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2004/10/07, 05:31 PM
I'm surprised at how many of you guys are comfortable doing housework. I never said that i believed that my wife should do it, it's just that she's so picky about stuff being neat. I was living with two of my best buddies before I moved in my my girl and I guess I'm just used to being a slob.
(I'm from Montreal)
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2004/10/07, 05:45 PM
Well bro,
I think you will find that as your comfort level with house work increases, her comfort level to do other things will increase as well. The inverse is also true. It is hard to see now, because you are a newly wed, but things can get harder.
Daniel
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2004/10/07, 05:47 PM
Bro you are living with a neat freak? Oh how I love those people. Michael, my significant other stud, is compulsive and it's my favorite quality about him. Neat freaks only care that you don't mess up their stuff and this is so easy. Whatever you get out, put back exactly where you found it, no guess-work. If you spill it, wipe it up with the plethora of items specifically for this purpose. I have a spot which Michael designated for me to be messy, it's about 5"x5" and it's all mine.
So basically all you have to do is follow the rules and the house is never a mess and your mate never wants to stiffle you with a pillow. It's easy!
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Anni
*******
Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/10/07, 05:50 PM
Just one more thing Bro, and this advice will help you a bunch: If you are foolish enough to ask your bride the same question you asked us, and you probably are, just remember to apologize to her as soon as you regain consiousness.:dumbbell:
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/10/07, 11:36 PM
Hec you are my hero, or you were till Dfly cut you back down to size
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2004/10/08, 02:14 AM
I never have to worry about such a discussion.
Ah, the benefits of being single...... and paying someone to clean the house, do the dishes, laundry, etc.
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Michael
Trample the weak; hurdle the dead!
Chaos, Panic, Disorder.... Yes, my work here is done!
rev8ball@freetrainers.com
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2004/10/08, 03:01 AM
Ok rev8ball I am real jelaous now!!:cool:
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I am that
which must be feared, worshipped and adored. The world is mine
now and forever.No one holds command over me. No man. No god. I am ANIMAL! and that is enough.
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2004/10/08, 12:10 PM
I like doing all the housework for my hubs. Clothes,cleaning,breakfast,lunch and dinner served to him, as well as the lovin...I just must be weird, and from what you all are saying he is ridiculously lucky. :laugh:
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2004/10/08, 12:32 PM
I think if it is an agreed upon thing it's fine, but it shouldn't be an expectation of the male in the relationship that his spouse will do those things as a matter of culture. Other than that, yes, yes, he is one incredibly lucky bastard!!!!!
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2004/10/08, 12:40 PM
You may be onto somthing here Cristal. I'll let Daniel verify my facts here. If you look at an xray of the male and female pelvis from the side, you will see that the male pelvis is relatively verticle. The female pelvis has an angle which almost appears to have a small hook at the top. This slight difference allows makes the female more anatomicaly suitable for bellying up to the sink and "hooking on" for washing dishes!!
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Quoting from CristalBelle:
I like doing all the housework for my hubs. Clothes,cleaning,breakfast,lunch and dinner served to him, as well as the lovin...I just must be weird, and from what you all are saying he is ridiculously lucky. :laugh:
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:big_smile:
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
Charlie
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2004/10/08, 12:41 PM
Not touching that with a ten foot pole.
Daniel
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2004/10/08, 12:44 PM
You also forget charlie, the small shoulder width, allows for easy access to cleans air ducts, and getting under my car, to change the oil......j/k ladies:big_smile::laugh:
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....I\'m probably in my underwear typing this......or maybe not!
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2004/10/08, 01:48 PM
Yes gentlemen, we are vastly amused...
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Anni
*******
Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/10/08, 01:53 PM
Sorry Andrew, you have to deal with your stupid car yourself, cause if I break a nail you are SO DONE!!(My husband can atest, I don't get cars, and breaking a nail is pretty much the only time you will hear a curse fly from my lips!)
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2004/10/08, 08:56 PM
CrisatalBelle...you are welcome for a 6 month stay at my house! Oh, do you shovel snow?
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"A will finds a way, failure is not an option"
Ivan
carivan@freetrainers.com
Montreal Canada
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2004/10/09, 07:11 AM
It is really quite simple:
I go to work.
I leave a list of what needs done.
I come home, and mrprincesslodgey has completed all his tasks.
We are both happy.
I do not expect him to have any initiative, or to know what needs done.
In return if I say something needs done, he does it.
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2004/10/18, 11:42 AM
A note about the very good advice of setting expectations and REVIEWING them periodically. When first married, it took about 2 hours to clean the apartment and do laundry each week. We shared evenly. Meals were prepared by whomever got home first. Face it, housework isn't hard it just takes some time and attention.
Move forward 7 years and add a child and a larger condo. Division of labor comes in. Me: Clean house on weekends, 1/2 cooking - Her: laundry 1/2 cooking Divide child care. BTW - it still only took me 2 hours to clean whole condo - I have a system.
Move forward 9 years, add two more children and 6 bedroom house on an acre, delete one job (hers), add growing responsiblity-time-travel as my career advances: "Why don't you help like when we were first married?" "You don't participate anymore." "I need more help around here."
I still do 1/2 the cooking, significant cleanup inside, all outside work, anything that needs fixing or is heavy, homework and school projects, and more.
Division of household responsibility should be conscious and agreed upon - otherwise changes of participation can be seen through an emotional screen.
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2004/10/19, 08:12 AM
To quote some very sound advice from anni - 'House work makes you ugly'
I do the dishes when I have time and energy, my husband puts them into soak and forgets about them, usually. That's okay, i can do them the next day or two, we don't stress.
Laundry is for weekends, when everyone can be involved.
Cleaning? Once or twice a week I spend an hour or so cleaning, that seems sufficient, none of have died from the filth of a slightly messy house.
On weekends we might tidy a bit together, but mostly when my husband and daughter and I are all home together, we like to play or go do something fun.....
Life is tooo short to spend all of it cleaning. set your priorities and take a nap.:)
The funniest part of all this is that my husband (he is a plumber/heating tech) is in other people's houses all day, and he comes home and says - 'you would not believe how filthy some people's houses are.' Even compared to ours, which is minimally cleaned, but not cluttered..
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\"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.\" Marcel Proust
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