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Thanks to all of you...

rev8ball Posts: 3,081 Joined: 2001/12/27	2005/03/09, 01:12 AM I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern... I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice. I no longer have any sneakers-but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!) I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favor. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will drop stuff on your head at 5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. (I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend.) -------------- Michael Nothing personal.... Strictly business.
xxrajxx Posts: 423 Joined: 2004/08/12	2005/03/09, 05:17 AM I can't type that quick am I doomed with bird droppings and fleas?
mmaibohm Posts: 1,621 Joined: 2003/09/30	2005/03/09, 07:59 AM omg rev that all just happened to me. Why did you send the strength gods after me!! -------------- I am that which must be feared, worshipped and adored. The world is mine now and forever.No one holds command over me. No man. No god. I am ANIMAL! and that is enough.
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2005/03/09, 10:15 AM Damn, if only I kne that 30 years ago! -------------- Scales are for dead weight: We are not dead yet! Still trying to find out how to do the Hollywood Free Press. Ivan carivan@freetrainers.com Montreal Canada
bb1fit Posts: 11,105 Joined: 2001/06/30	2005/03/09, 11:37 AM Join the crowd Michael. :) Great post, I love it! Ironically, my wife just got one of these chain letters. -------------- If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.... bb1fit@freetrainers.com
	2005/03/10, 03:44 PM 'I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. ' sorry to nitpick but microwaving saran wrap does not cause cancer....because it doesn't actually burn it...during the process... But yea...most of everything else is on point....I no longer use aol for that reason...my university email system...filters out all this crap...:)
princesslodgey Posts: 1,748 Joined: 2004/02/21	2005/03/11, 04:23 AM I think that's the point, menace, that most of the stuff in these letters in nonsense.