2005/07/20, 02:32 PM
A POEM FOR THE GIRLS
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I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest? !!!
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK! ! !
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my mom just emailed this to me and i thought i needed to share it with all of you....;
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2005/07/20, 02:45 PM
:big_smile:
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2005/07/20, 02:46 PM
PICTURE ON THE NIGHT STAND
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured
"No, no, no!!!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery.:big_smile::big_smile:
-------------- Sometimes life is as easy as herding cats.
Charlie
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2005/07/20, 02:54 PM
Another one the females may enjoy.
MEN ARE SO EASYBest Singles Ad Ever Written
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to
have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a
very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods,
riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips,cozy winter
nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of
your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing
only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be
waiting...
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.
-------------- Sometimes life is as easy as herding cats.
Charlie
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2005/07/20, 09:39 PM
Great jokes!!:)
-------------- Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. -Newt Gingrich
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2005/07/24, 02:23 AM
The dog one is cute!
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2005/07/24, 03:58 AM
I knew where the first one was going charlie...2nd one was hilarious....caught me offguard...just proves what we men tend to think about 24-7....that's right....dogs...
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2005/07/30, 01:52 PM
awwww
I want the black lab :big_smile:
-------------- Reddy
All people smile in the same language
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2005/07/31, 12:48 AM
very funny...hehe. The first one Charlie would scare the hell out of me if I was a man! Lol!
-------------- Bettia.... The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
ravenbeauty@freetrainers.com
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2005/07/31, 09:28 PM
Sounds like your speaking from experience, Menace!
:big_smile:
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Quoting from menace3000:
I knew where the first one was going charlie...2nd one was hilarious....caught me offguard...just proves what we men tend to think about 24-7....that's right....dogs...
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2005/08/08, 02:53 PM
That settles it, Reddy wants a SINGLE BLACK FEMALE spread the word.
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Quoting from Reddy:
awwww
I want the black lab :big_smile:
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2005/08/09, 03:39 PM
lmfao
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