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2005/09/08, 04:08 AM
I'm 22 and i strongly suspect that a person just turned 16 might be developing a crush on me. Very awkward - we go to the same place regularly and i consider him a friend. he is totally unavoidable (as in, we both need to go to this place). I'm very worried, as if my suspicions are correct, then this could ruin things. I don't want to give too much info away, in case somehow it leads to his identification. How do handle this? It's never happened before! I don't want anyone to get hurt, or for ugly accusations to start heading my way.:surprised:
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each to their own
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2005/09/08, 10:45 AM
just make sure you are not putting out any kind of flirting behavior around this person, and slowly try to shorten the conversations. Become BUSY!!!.... I thought you girls already knew this stuff... :)
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2005/09/08, 11:00 AM
yeah, i can handle guys my own age and older, but not him because despite how mature he is, he is still a child. If i handle this badly, it will be awful. I am definately not flirting with him, in my mind doing that would be akin to child abuse. He was injured recently and I took care of him; events surrounding this (i cannot go into detail) lead me to believe he is developing feelings for me.
Reading back what I just wrote, maybe it's not a crush - maybe he is just fonder of me now, because I took care of him.
Anyway, I just hope he doesn't try anything.
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each to their own
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2005/09/12, 07:42 AM
but he seeks out my company, and i enjoy his company in a way that didn't happen before the incident. how in the name of all that is holy am i supposed to find a balance? Also, what if im wrong? What if i confront him, and embarrass both of us? what if i do nothing then it turns out that my hunch was right?
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each to their own
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2005/09/12, 08:01 PM
lol gangster that's spot on...
How unavoidable is it? if you two work together then try switching shifts....if you take dancing at the same place for instance....switch days you go there..etc...
Just take things easy...if he tries to pull a move...and it will be obvious...sit him down and explain how much you value your friendship...etc...if he's got a brain it will dawn on him that you're not into him....I was 16 once also..and one can think pretty well at that age...so don't underestimate him....
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2005/09/12, 09:37 PM
yrah, the "I wanna be your sister" speech....guys love that.:big_smile::big_smile:
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Sometimes life is like herding cats.
Charlie
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2005/09/12, 10:36 PM
menace you were sixteen once? Really? lol!
Boys at sixteen are just as emotional as girls...and don't you guys dare argue with me. Their emotions along with all of their body chemicals are out of whack and going through a major transition and it is hard for them to tell the difference between a friendship or more, especially with a beautiful older female. Even if you try not to give out any signals, sometimes because of their infactuation they misinterpret something as simple as you just saying "hi", the way you look when you are saying it to them.
I would just try to spend a little less time with him if at all possible. If he asks what is wrong, there is your opportunity. If you are wrong in your thinking, it won't be as bad as you think. He might even be impressed to think that an older woman thinks he likes her. You might find it amusing afterwards, but if it is indeed a crush,you need to nip it in the butt before it's too late or someone's (meaning him) feelings get hurt beyond repair and the possibility of losing a good friendship.
just my five cents (don't like two cents cause everyone else uses it :))
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Bettia.... You will only be remembered for the things that you finish, not the things that you start!
ravenbeauty@freetrainers.com
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2005/09/13, 03:58 AM
Those are good suggestions. Menace, avoidance is impossible, but I think you're right. Raven, what you said about the saying 'hi' thing is exactly what seems to be going on. I'll see him this evening, so we'll just have to see what happens. Charlie, that sister thing sounds like a great way of meeting it halfway - I do feel protective of him, so that is what I will say if he tries to make a move.
Thanks guys, feeling a lot more comfortable!
Katie
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each to their own
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2005/09/13, 07:04 AM
I was born an old man....just ask my mom...who used to ask me for advice at 5...lol....
I was pretty rational at 16...and guys are horny as he... at that age...but emotional maybe not...don't exactly agree with that wording....
When u confront him....and you're wrong it will create awkwardness....just giving you heads up....I mean if he pulls anything you'll know...then ok...give him ' i think of u as a brother' speech...but for now.. you're jumping the gun....or however the saying goes...
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2005/09/13, 07:06 AM
Fair enough menace, I'm not going to say anything unprovoked. But i generally have a pretty good instinct for these things.
Every time I see a new post I worry it's him!
But I think I would have spotted him.
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each to their own
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2005/09/13, 08:51 PM
I could see your point of view menace, you were one of the rarities of being rational at your age.
As far as the awkardness stage, well it already is for Kalanchoe. I have been in that situation a few times when I was a youth volunteer at my kids school and I tell you what. Some of the boys it was just a "crush" others lingered a bit longer and one unfortunately got hurt very badly and didn't like me very much afterwards. I had let it linger wayyy too long and the situation got out of control, not physically or anything like that, but I started getting notes from him and frequent hang up calls, when we finally talked about it, he totally misinterpretted the whole situation. Now I am not saying all boys are like that, there are always exceptions. I guess what you need to ask yourself since only you know who he is, can this be a rational discussion between the two of you without his feelings getting hurt or acting immature about it? Ofcourse you can opt for menace's suggestion and not provoke anything, but like you said yourself, instincts will usually tell you when something is right and not right.
Good luck and I hope you resolve this soon, there are such great kids out there without good mentors in their lives, it would be hard to lose the trust of one because of a crush...
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Bettia.... You will only be remembered for the things that you finish, not the things that you start!
ravenbeauty@freetrainers.com
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2005/09/14, 05:32 AM
It's your call...I mean if this is one of those things that will drive u nuts until u resovle it one way or another....then just do it and get it over with...if not...I'd wait a bit....
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2005/09/14, 08:18 AM
Well, saw him last night and things seem to be normal! Hopefully, this is resolved, but thank you everyone!
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each to their own
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