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2005/10/11, 08:28 AM
Oh dear, where to begin!
Well, I know that fasting for Ramadan won't be doing my mood any favours, but this goes beyond that. In short, I'm very unhappy.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We can only see each other at the wknd cos he lives at the other end of the country. Every time I have seen hinm since day one, he has been dead cheerful one minute, then miserable and crying the next. Everytime this has happened, I have done my utmost to support him, even though he cites the reasons for these moods as being down to me, eg, I looked at him funny. That is literally all I have to do to upset him. And I dont even know I'm doing half the things he says I'm doing and my patience has run out - I suspect he is attention seeking. Plus, when I'm wit him, we can't go out and do things, because he gets on a big downer. So, I see my friends like once every 3 months.
That's one major issue right now. The other is work. I work from 8.30 until 5.30, but most of the time, I finish at 8pm, 9pm. I write and edit 3 magazines - an obscene workload. Plus, this I've only been doing this for 6 months. So work is ALWAYS on my mind. I dont even make enough money to move out of my parents home.
I know I go on about it, but for the past 3 months, karate is all I look forward to, all I want to do. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for getting on for 2 months. I live, sleeo and breathe karate, and this weekend, I'm not seeing my boyfriend, so my automatic thought is "great! That means I can do those 2 sessions of karate on saturday and 4 on sunday!"
Between my boyfriend and my job, there is very little time left for me, and I use most of that time on karate. The situation makes me miserable and it doesn't help when my boyfriend makes me miserable. I really have tried so hard to help him, but when he weeps and sobs because I 'didn't listen to him in that bar' (it was noisy and he had to repeat himself ONCE) I am really at my wits end. I know that if we broke up, I would be straight down to that dojo, but I don'ty know if this would solve anything. I should be more grateful - I have the best family ever, and amazing friends,even if I never see them, and my job is something ive wanted to do since i was little, but I'm going through a bad patch and feel as though something's got to give, any day soon.
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2005/10/12, 10:20 AM
Here is my 2 cents...1st off, Sorry to hear you're going thru a rough time...we all have them! Looks like you need to sit down and have a good look at your life. Things can get stressful from time to time, but it's important not to let it become a constant. Based on what you've stated about your boyfriend, I think you should take a break for a while and determine just how strong your feelings are for this guy. Sounds like he's taking far more than he's giving to the relationship and it's wearing you down. Work will probably get better as time goes on, but make sure you stay on top of it and don't make your workload unmanagable--if possible. Keep up with your Karate, doing what you love is the best thing during times like this-both mentally and physically. Things won't likely change unless you change them, so figure out what you have control of and change them for the better.
Hang in there and good luck:).
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Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
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2005/10/12, 10:28 AM
yea I agree you need to have a talk with him.....cause he's soposed to be part of your life.....not all of your life.
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Friends don't let friends squat high...
People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
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2005/10/12, 04:15 PM
Thanks guys! I love the way people here take you seriously - there isn't the bitchiness and BS you get with other forums. That's why I postd that here, I knew I'd find support. Just having someone read what I said and write a few words; that means a lot. Hopefully things will get better, I totally needed to get all that out...karate tommorow!
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2005/10/12, 07:23 PM
I don't have a whole lot to say except for I hope you feel better soon!
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2005/10/15, 04:12 AM
Kalanchoe... I have a suspision your bf has a bipolar disorder or perhaps another type of a mood disorder....where a person fluctuates between a manic and depressive moods....a grown man shouldn't sob and weep at the slightest of things.....even the most sensitive types wouldn't do this...he possibly has a mood disorder and he should really consider seeking professional help(bring this up in a serious manner..during your discussion)....
Although karate is a healthy activity it shouldn't detract from other important things in your life...ie...job, personal life, etc....when even a healthy activity predominates your thoughts, and daily routines...it's bordering on obsessive compulsive tendencies....so beware...
sit down with your bf and figure where you're in the relationship....seems like you have checked out a few months back...if this is so...then end the relationship now so that you can both move on....if you have strong feelings for each other then perhaps therapy is viable...
good luck hope everything works out for the best...
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2005/10/31, 10:22 AM
It's all over. Feeling too miserable to see that it's for the best. I know that finishing it was the right thing to do, but I am so depressed about it.
Fortunately, I have great mates, and I'm off to London this weekend to drink wine by the Thames and watch fireworks! Thanks to everyone!
Bring on the extra karate!
Katie
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each to their own
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2005/10/31, 10:47 PM
gl Katie...use this chance to reflect on what you learned from this relationship...have fun on the trip!
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2005/11/01, 10:56 AM
Hey Katie, I know it's hard, but change is good! Enjoy your trip and I'm sure things will get better for you:).
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