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2006/01/31, 03:37 AM
Got a situation here. I work with a good friend (male) that I know has cheated three times that I know of on his girlfriend who is also one of my good friends. They are one of those couples that when they get mad they break up then the next week, shoot even the next day, are back together. Nothin ever changes EVER. Well I might have brought this on myself but when they broke up this last time (this one was for like 4 months) this female friend of mine and I were out at a club with some people and ended up dancing together. Of course he found out and was all pissed and pretty much wants to kill me. Now I think he is overreacting cuz this girl and I are just strictly friends and thats it, but now they both hate me I think. Why do people do this? Why don't they just straighten things out or drop it all together? If I don't get a response cuz it is too long its ok I understand. This stuff just bugs the crap out of me!!!
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2006/01/31, 04:16 AM
You didn' do anything. This is a non-issue. Generally you never want to date your friends' ex-gfs. However you danced at a club as friends. This doesn't even come close. He needs to get a clue. If he's a good friend then have a talk about it and get things straightened out. Guys have a tendency to overreact about things like this. He's obviously not over her and is just looking for someone else to blame for why things didn't work out.
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2006/01/31, 02:10 PM
If anything more happened beyond a dance then he might be justified...however if that's it then he needs to grow up. She's only acting pissed cause he told her to. I've seen relationships like this...highly disfunctional and rarely does one person in the relationship think for themselves...in this case it sounds like her. She knows she has no right to be mad at you...if anything she should have stood up for you and said it was only a dance.
Hate to say it, but I think it's time to start shopping for another friend. Eventually these two will split up permanently and you'll get a call from one of them. At that point you can decide what you want to do, but for now it's best to steer clear.
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2006/01/31, 04:14 PM
2 words--TOXIC PEOPLE
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2006/01/31, 07:22 PM
Take it from me dude...don't get involved with this chick except as friends. If you do you'll most definitly lose the guy friend, and I don't mean or a while, I mean completely, who cares if he kicks your a$$, that heals in time, what you'll end up doing to him won't. Just let things carry on as friends all around. If one of them ends up not being able to deal with it, let them be the one to end the friendship. That's not very mature on their part I know but that's the gamble your taking by remaining friends to both. From your post it's obvious your friend's not over her and if you keep seeing her even as a friend your always going to have tention between you and your buddy. Just be smart, the decisions you make and the actions you take in a situation like this are almost always permanent. Meaning, irrepairable harm can be done, like trust, honor, respect, etc. It's unfortunate your being put in the position you are and not fair but nonetheless your there. Be careful, it can become very complicated and things will cloud your judgement. Take it from someone who's been there, this is not something to take lightly. If your not careful you could lose both, and for what? Best of luck to you bro!
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Seize the day!
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2006/01/31, 07:27 PM
Just want to clarify what I meant by things clouding your judgement. What I mean is don't start to justify your actions with things like, I know he's cheated on her. Your just making an excuse to take things further with this chick when you know you shouldn't. I am also aware I spelled tension wrong. OK, I think I'm done now.
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Seize the day!
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2006/01/31, 09:59 PM
I never want anything more than a friendship with this girl and no it never went further than a dance, that would just be weird. Yes menace guys do overreact, u are totally right about her just acting mad too stump and mojo good insight but just one thing, I don't think this dude will be kickin my a$$ anytime soon. Thanx all. REP IT OUT!!!
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A word to the wise is not necessary, it is the stupid ones that need advice.
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2006/02/03, 09:03 AM
lexballer, if she dumped her man/your friend and wanted to go out with you, would you take her up on it? mojo brought up a really good point in his last post though.
good luck with the situation.
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Quoting from Mojo_67:
....don't start to justify your actions with things like, I know he's cheated on her. Your just making an excuse to take things further with this chick when you know you shouldn't.
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