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Son Girlfriend Dilemma-Revisited

mysticgraces Posts: 422 Joined: 2006/02/21	2006/07/13, 07:38 AM Ok my son and his GF arrived two days ago...shes quiet thats for sure.But we are all feeling really uncomfortable with the over show of affection between them..Granted I know he cares about her,but laying on the couch together is a little weird. Shes only 16!!! Iam sorry,but what parent allows their 16 year old to go off for 2-3 weeks with a guy,let alone let them sleep in the same bed! I asked my son to sit up last night as we were all trying to watch tv and it was so uncomfortable....*sigh* Iam new at this and need ideas
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/07/13, 09:56 AM Yikes...that doesn't sound fun!I don't have any advice...and I don't like to judge anothers parenting...but no I would NEVER allow my 16 year old to take off with a 19 year old for the night let alone weeks!I guess I could say try talking to your son privately,let him know this is all new to you and the rest of the family and it would make things easier on the family if he could tone down the public affection.I think the conversation will probably be about as welcome as a turd in a punch bowl though...so all I can do is wish you luck!!
mysticgraces Posts: 422 Joined: 2006/02/21	2006/07/13, 10:34 AM Turd in a punch bowl HAHAHA good one KC..I was thinking of doing what you said,having a private chat and see what happens..
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/07/13, 10:58 AM OK...let me know....I've got a few years before this is an issue for me,but I'll file your experiance in my mind for future referance!!
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2006/07/13, 05:03 PM Be direct and straight forward. It's your home and you want to keep it a home (better than house). They are both young and going through the "puppy love" stage. One of my daughters had a friend that use to come over here and lay on the sofa etc and I told them no way. It's not a drop in center. I am a strict parent, she is 22 and so was he. You have to nudge at first and if that doesn't work you shake it. Words work wonders. What the heck is this girl doing at 16?? -------------- Scales are for dead weight: We are not dead yet! Still trying to find out how to do the Hollywood Free Press. Ivan Montreal Canada
	2006/07/13, 05:26 PM At 16, when I lay on the couch with my girlfriend, I at least had the decency to do it behind her parent's back. Dayum...the youth of today know no bounds. -------------- Sometimes life is like herding cats. Charlie
mysticgraces Posts: 422 Joined: 2006/02/21	2006/07/13, 07:48 PM Well I had a good chat with my son and told him that the over affection makes us all uncomfortable and while I realize he cares for her and wants to show it,they have plenty of places around here to do so.. Carivan-I agree ..who the heck lets their 16 year old daughter go off for with a 19 year old on vacation? She has already told him that shes bored and wants to go home..shes been here 3 days..I feel for him,I know hes torn,wanting to keep her happy and wanting to have a good visit with his family I think if she were more mature,she would understand better
mikencharleston Posts: 1,585 Joined: 2002/01/09	2006/07/13, 10:04 PM carivan and Charlie pretty much hit it. You aren't in a situation where you are going to come out on top but laying down some rules might save your son some pain down the road. He's dating a child and I can't comprehend the value system anymore. :)
mysticgraces Posts: 422 Joined: 2006/02/21	2006/07/14, 06:58 AM Mike I agree with you 100%...I realize that anything I say about their "relationship"(word used lightly)isnt going to sit well with my son...but he does know that I will give him my opinion,whether he likes it or not.. Iam upset with the fact that shes 16 and I have told him that
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/07/14, 11:04 PM My friend is going through the exact same dilema. What is it with people dating underagged kids? It's like some fashion statement. Kind of like something else going on with kids that I cannot mention here so I don't call out certain lifestyles per say. I have 13, 15 and 18 year old daughters and I still have a hard time swallowing my 18 year old liking a 21 year old! It's just crazy, I am waiting for her to bring home a 35 year old man that I am just ready to whop on! LOL! All I can say mystic is I wish you luck and a lot of patience. :) -------------- Bettia.... You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. -Mark Twain ravenbeauty@freetrainers.com
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/07/14, 11:16 PM I don't know, raven. You never dated older guys? My first bf was 19 and I was 15. Then I again when I was 19 I met my husband (now ex) and he was 35. On the other, most of my kids think that's disgusting...the girls generally date boys just a year or two older. My 23 year old has an 18 year old girlfriend, then complains about how immature she is. My 18 year old has only had one girlfriend so far, and she was a year ahead of him. But it is pretty usual for the guy to be a few years older. On the other hand, if my daughter brought home a 37 year old man I don't think I'd take it as well as my parents did. Anyway, I guess I've been lucky. My kids are more uncomfortable with PDA's that I am and I never had to deal with sleepover situations.
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/07/14, 11:27 PM I didn't until I was 27 years old, when I started dating RW. That was really the only time. Then again, I was raised really strict, German Father, Mexican Mother, need I say more? I do remember girls i went to school with having things for older guys, but actually dating them was a whole different story.. -------------- Bettia.... You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. -Mark Twain ravenbeauty@freetrainers.com
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/07/14, 11:28 PM Did i mention I went to catholic school too? LOL! -------------- Bettia.... You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. -Mark Twain ravenbeauty@freetrainers.com
msmogreen Posts: 717 Joined: 2006/04/22	2006/07/15, 05:17 PM Yeah, well I was a child of the 70's and my parents did turn me on to pot when I was 13...so I guess they did have a little different attitude. Of course, now they are pretty much ashamed of everything they did back then.
bigandrew Posts: 5,146 Joined: 2002/10/21	2006/07/19, 01:51 PM I know i'm a different generation...but sitting on the couch with an arm around her... or cuddling on the couch isn't really that big a deal. I know shes 16...but its only 3 years....the parent must trust her, you AND him to let her come ove ryour house and spend time with him and you. She's prolly just as uncomfy as you are hanging out with her boyfriends mom and all....only thing she is comfortable with is him....let her have some "love" she already in a strange house, strange neighborhood, strange place...with a mom that doesn't really want her there. I think there is some room her for you to step in....but cuddling on the couch? Like it was said its puppy love...give him SOME gray area -------------- Get your bicep curling, cut off shirt, matching workout outfit wearing,flexing in mirror "toned" wanna-be ass , out of my squat rack! People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
	2006/07/19, 01:56 PM If you don't use some grey area, 1+1 will = 3!!! -------------- Sometimes life is like herding cats. Charlie
bigandrew Posts: 5,146 Joined: 2002/10/21	2006/07/20, 12:34 AM Lol I know that charlie....but also....if he was raised right....to respect respect his mom, and other girls....then there shouldn't be a problem. IF sex is an issue hopfully he was taught to use proper protection. -------------- Get your bicep curling, cut off shirt, matching workout outfit wearing,flexing in mirror "toned" wanna-be ass , out of my squat rack! People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
mysticgraces Posts: 422 Joined: 2006/02/21	2006/07/20, 08:20 AM Andrew,I dont have a problem with them cuddling on the couch..I did have a problem with them laying down together on the couch...when I asked him to stop he did,and he has toned it down...he knows all about protection etc..I have a very open relationship with my sons and explained it all to them.
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/07/20, 11:04 AM Sounds like things are going in the right direction Mystic...how's it been since the talk?Does the little one still want to go home??
Pritchard Posts: 1,212 Joined: 2004/03/02	2006/07/20, 12:14 PM seriously, charlie is right, do what you can for some loving, but for goodness sake dont let her dad (or mum) see it!!! fitch xxx -------------- http://www.myspace.com/actionjacksonspace