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2006/10/03, 09:52 AM
With all the school shootings lately and even one in Amish land, it has got me to wonder. I have one son going to school even if it is preschool. I had a very very bad time in school. There were a lot of factors that made my experience a living hell, but it has colored my view on public education. I know Amy here home schools, my mom did that for a while for my 3 younger brothers and all 3 went on to get degrees from college. I have a friend here that does the same for his two kids as well. I am so worried about Alex getting bullied and not liking school like I did that I want to go see his teacher to make sure on the pre-school level it is not happening. I know that is silly but like I said my past colors his future.
Then there is the violence and guns and shootings, I would not be able to live if one of my boys got hurt cause we made them go to school. But now home school while a option is not totaly my call. I work fulltime so it would fall to my wife to do it. She more so than me would be great at it as she is so much smarter than I am. I would of course be the history/anthropology/archaeology guy, but that is about all i would be doing. I have not brought this up yet as we are still rather early in the school thing.
So tell me your views, and let me know if i am just a big worrier or not.
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/03, 11:24 AM
You have every right to be worried mutt, there is much more violence at the childrens level than there was even 20 years ago, its society in whole that has brought it upon us, tv, movies, video games all raise up violence to such a high level to capture ratings that the young and impressionable are flooded with ideas that its ok to express themselves in such manners. i had a hard decision when my girl and i decided to have children, if i wanted to bring a child into this world or not, knowing that they would have to endure such things as tougher schools, violence, hard core drugs, and such.
I have not known anyone that has been home schooled so my opinion on that subject would be skewered so i will only say that its my belief having a child taught in a 1 on 1 enviroment by someone they know and trust seems to be the best for the childs education, compared to a 25-30 to 1 ratio i have been taught in, having to deal with disruptions in class due to class clowns and such. thou i wasnt the scholastic juggernaut that maybe some home schooled kids will turn out to be, i feel i turned out just fine....
I can truly tell you that i wouldnt trade my middle and high school experiences in for any home school, only because of the sports i played and for the friends ive made that are still my friends today, this is my life . i was bullied for a period of time in school but i fought back and stood my ground, i took a few beatings and gave out quite a few, i refused to go to school scared, which in turn prepared me for tougher things in life than just a few punks, things like death and illness in my life...
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Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
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2006/10/03, 11:31 AM
The thing is that in every way that I was in school (introverted, un athletic, nerdy) Alex is the exact opposite. He is just my baby and I am very protective of him. I just worry about it as i know what it is like to be bullied a lot and well like I said many other factors were involved at the time. Anyway, I am just thinking outloud here LOL thanks Bill!
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/03, 11:47 AM
Homeschool kids have sports teams and extra-curricular groups in most areas. So, they don't miss out on the social aspects so much if the parent's are active in seeking out activities.
I guess violence can happen anywhere. There is nothing to say that one day, while homeschool field tripping, someone robs the science museum or goes crazy at the history center...but I do feel safer with my baby at home. As far as bully experiences - we have had those with neighborhood kids, and I do think there is someting to be learned by dealing with a bully. I do worry about the fact that my high school was the gateway to drugs and risky behavior, but I can't say that school caused me to follow that path (that is a whole nother story).
I also think that school sports have become too competitive, even rec center sports in our area are way too stressful for the kids - parents yell and argue, the fun has been lost from the game. But that is societal, not just the school sports.
Hmm, this is becoming quite an nati-society downer of a rant, isn't it?
I think in the end, you do what you can to prepare your children in the best way you know how and have faith that, more often than not, good prevails over bad. more people are helpful than hurtful and believeing in guardian spirits or angels may give some piece of mind (i honestly think they saved my a** more than once...).
Hmmm. Like MUTT - just rambling out loud.
Teach strength, fairness, courage, truthfulness and street smarts.....
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We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
- Aristotle
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2006/10/03, 12:19 PM
I understand that. BUT, I draw the line at concusiously letting them into a situation that can hurt them. That is my concern. I feel safe in the belief that our school here in Greece, NY is a goodone, but there is still bad things ya know. How can I as a parent send my boy into a place where he can be hurt?
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/03, 12:16 PM
You are absolutely right asimmer on all points, you only hope that you prepare your children for what may arise the way you think is best and go with it....
quoting from dory in finding nemo " if you dont let anything happen to nemo, than thats what will happen, nothing will happen, none of the good things in life will ever happen to him ".... one of my favorite movies and a statement i believe in. one way i look at it is " How will you ever smell the rose, unless you feel the prick of the thorns now and then ? "
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Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
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2006/10/03, 12:48 PM
Times have changed dramatically. When I was in school, there was bullying of course, this is more due to a fact of life as in 'the growing up process and natural tendencies of immatures'.
But, when real differences arose, a fight for instance would be arranged after school. Eveyone would stand around and wait, then watch the fight. Someone won, someone lost, you went home and lived with it. Noone died, their pride was hurt for a while.
Now, guns are the answer.
And then you have 'intruders' these days, that don't even belong in the schools. Scary goings on.
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Maximus from Gladiator....Strength and Honor!
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2006/10/03, 01:02 PM
Well mutt, short from letting your boys live in a plastic bubble at home under guard surrounded by fire proofed barbed wire there is no absolutes in life except that we will live and we will die, everything in between is our lives. Ive got nothing but respect for you mutt and can only hope that i love and care enough about my children when i have some the way you do to be so worried for them, but i also hope you can realize that even thou we want nothing bad to happen to our kids, it may, sad as it may be.
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Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
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2006/10/03, 01:04 PM
I know that but again I have to re think this school thing. I just hate to send them there and something bad happen I could not live with that. That I am there to protect them and I let them down if that makes any sense.
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/03, 01:06 PM
and you are right BB1, we used to gather in the park or football field to settle our scores, no weapons, no bullSH*&, just 1 on 1, and if it was too onesided, it was stopped by others, sore knuckles and sometimes like you said, a sore pride.
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2006/10/03, 01:08 PM
yes perfect sense mutt.
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Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
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2006/10/03, 01:10 PM
That is another point. When i was in school there were fights but no real weapons. Now teachers are getting sliced up with box cutters. My brother in law while student teaching had another teacher put into a coma after getting her head bashed in by a girl that had taken 7 combination locks from lockers and put them into a sock. She waited till the teacher ws talking to someone snuck up and beat her half to death. Her reason? The teacher told her to be quite in class. The teacher got a bit better but loss hearing and sight. My brother in law left the teaching field soon after.
That is why I am so deep in thought about this.
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/03, 01:46 PM
I just went to have lunch with my kids...and got turned away.They are no longer allowing anyone but students and faculty into the building during school hours...at least for the time being.Times are changing...they always have and they always will...our kids may be talking about the "good old days" when people just brought guns to school...instead of what ever weapon is going to be created.
Times are changing...you have to adjust to the changes or get run over.When I first started teaching my kids to stay away from adults they don't know,or what to do if someone breaks into the house I thought I was doing right...then I get told if something is going to happen to them...it's probably going to be someone they know...so now they have to watch out for everybody...it's a scarey world...and I prepare mine for that.But with all of my preperations...you know my son came home the other day and told me he helped some man find his puppy...I couldn't believe it.As much as I've taught them...he went and did it anyway.So I reemed him up and down,told him to NEVER do it again...and I pray that he won't.So if the reason you want to keep them home is ONLY to feel you are protecting them...I don't think it's fair.
Amy homeschools her daughter...but Amy has a passion to teach...you can see it all over her posts.I would make a terrible teacher...I hated school...and I would pass that to my own.I think every situation is different,and all situations would have pros and cons...if I lived in an area that was dangerous...I would do what I had to to get them to another school,or hire a tutor.
You can't live your life based on "what if's"...it will make you crazy.
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2006/10/03, 01:51 PM
I know all that just being a nervous dad. It totaly breaks my heart to hear about those kids killed the other day and all the other ones recently.
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/03, 01:55 PM
I'm not a parent...so I don't have your point of view. But if he is a truly quiet/ keep to himself kinda person...he should be ok.
Whats his school like now?
How many kids go there?
what are the teachers like?
Are thier police officers in school?
Area of town?
I grew up with people who went to public, private and where homeschooled.
Homeschooled/private kids where more "sheltered" and some when they got in college or "out" they went buck wild....drinking partying etc.
I can be shot at just as easy going into a gas station...or struck by lightening checking my mail.
I guess all I can say is....he'll have to go out into the "real world" soon. Arm him now, talk to him, see what HE wants.....
it should be more about what HE wants....if he feels safe at his school...then so be it.
But like I said...I no parent... so I guess I have a different angle.
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Get your bicep curling, cut off shirt, matching workout outfit wearing,flexing in mirror "toned" wanna-be ass , out of my squat rack!
People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
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2006/10/03, 02:03 PM
Do you remember a few years ago when a school overseas(Russia or Germany...I think)was taken hostage...the first day of school...all the kids and parents were held hostage in the gym...it was awful.I was glued to the TV...mine were due to go to school for their first day the next day...I didn't want to send them...I wanted them home with me at least for that day.We were overseas and the gates were being picketed at the time(the gates got picketed from time to time...no real reason that particular time)...no more war signs,Americans are murderers signs...all kinds of awful stuff,so I got to thinking "what if" one of these people decide they hate us as Americans being there so much ,they go after the school.But my husband said that we couldn't live being afraid...that they were protected and would be fine.So I walked them to school,and spent the whole day sick to my stomach...but they were fine.There are way to many what ifs out there...don't keep kids home ONLY because you are afraid...I think you should make that decision based on many reasons...not just because you are afraid of the world.
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I am a non-smoker...as of this post I have quit for 1 day 3 hours and saved 55 min of my life.
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2006/10/03, 02:04 PM
He is 4 yrs old. In preschool no police in there that I know of, but Greece Ny is the safest place to live, yet so was the Amish place. so go figure
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/03, 02:05 PM
I myself am not afraid anymore. I was for year but not now. I just have a very sensative nature and i see alot of me in Alex.
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/03, 02:14 PM
oh I thought he was older...lol my bad...
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Get your bicep curling, cut off shirt, matching workout outfit wearing,flexing in mirror "toned" wanna-be ass , out of my squat rack!
People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
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2006/10/03, 02:15 PM
My son has a sensitive nature...gets very upset if his friends gets hurt,or if his sister is upset,he'll do what he can to make her feel better...but I also know that a kid was trying to pick on him on the bus the other day...was trying to take his pack pack...my son told him at first to leave him alone...and he wouldn't..so he told him if he touched his pack pack again...his fist was gonna meet his face...and the kid backed off.My son came home and nervously told me what happened.I told him it was fine...if somebody is messing with you..you ask them to leave you alone..if they don't..let them know you mean buisness.Just because he's sensitive doesn't mean he will get bullied...
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2006/10/03, 02:41 PM
I think the world is what it is. All you can really do is to teach your kids to respect one another for who they are. Teach them to be safe, but not scared. Expose them to all aspects of life-good and bad- so that they know the difference. And teach them to be strong confident individuals. I had an interesting converstion with my 16 year old last night, it turns out my youngest daughter(Gr 7) was being somewhat bullied by a grade 9 student student and has been on and off for the past year (we've discussed the situation openly together often). My youngest held her ground and the bullying didn't really phase her. However, my eldest caught wind of it and appoached the girl at her high school and simply stated that bullying younger kids is unaccetable behaviour and that if she found out that she was still doing it she would go to the authorities. No yelling, just stating a fact. She had checked with her sister first to make sure she was OK with it and afterwards came and told me about it. I was very proud how both of them handled it without my interference. Not surprised though, it's how they've been brought up...
As far as home schooling goes, I think it is a choice based on quality of education. Home schooling and private schooling is fairly common here for K-8 grades and many of the homes will have group classes where one adult is stonger in a subject. Most kids do enter the school system for highschool, with no problems and typically at a higher level. Personally, I prefer that my kids gets exposed to all aspects of society thru their public school/ multicultural education--but that's my peronal choice. Is there risk-yes-but there is risk in everything we do.
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Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
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The harder you fall, the higher you bounce
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2006/10/03, 02:42 PM
As a young boy from grade 3-7 I was bullied. I was the only Jew in the school of all Protestants except a few teachers. The bulling started when they found out I was Jewish. I was able to take care of myself and being the type to walk away or run rather than throw out some words or put up the fists. I was always threatened with the words "wait till tomorrow" was asked for money all the time or get beat up. There were no guns or knives. I didn't talk to anyone untill it was too late. One day I didn't run or walk. I literally kicked the teeth out of a 12 year old and was suspended from school for 1 week. When others saw/heard what I did everybody who bullied me stayed away or tried to befriend me. My point is there were never any guns even in the minds. By the way, this bully died of a heart attack at 45!
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Thinking of a new signature line.
Ivan
Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
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2006/10/05, 10:14 AM
I tell you each time I read the news i cringe. AN entire school district in VA is closed due to a bomb threat over 7000 kids and workers are evacuated and sent home. This is nuts!
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A journey beigns with a single step.
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2006/10/05, 10:45 AM
We had 2 schools under lock down here today due to people over reacting and panic. People must acess the situation before hand. With all understanding.
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Thinking of a new signature line.
Ivan
Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
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2006/10/05, 11:30 AM
I had the news on last week at lunch time..I was in the other room but had it loud enough to hear it...and I hear them say the kids have been evacuated at my kids school...I almost threw up where I was standing...it turned out it was what they thought was a fire..a little smoke...but for that one second before they said why the school had been evacuated...my heart stopped.The bomb threats usually come after these school shootings...some idiot kid just trying to get out of school for the day.
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2006/10/05, 11:52 AM
I agree that the world has changed and we all need to take extra precautions, but I really feel that the media is making this a bigger issue than it really is. The media lives for reporting this kind of stuff. Unfortunetly this is the type of stuff that sells on TV. When was the last time you turned on the news and only good things were reported?? If you look at the number of elementary, junior high, high school and college schools out there the percentages of these types of problems is very low, almost non existent. I would bet that you have better chance of being killed in a car crash or winning the lottery than a gunman coming to your school. As far as the bomb threat, hopefully it is nothing, but it was probably some kids looking to get a couple of days off. I am not trying to make light of these situations, but you really have to look at the big picture. Each generation has their social issues and yes ours are greater than those in the past, but we also have 24 hour news channels that will run these stories over and over again with no mention of all the good things.
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Life is a lesson. You will learn it when you are gone.
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2006/10/05, 04:01 PM
ka hit the nail on the head!
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Thinking of a new signature line.
Ivan
Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
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2006/10/05, 04:17 PM
yes...hes good for that...if nothing else....:big_smile:
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2006/10/05, 04:29 PM
KC, KC, KC
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Life is a lesson. You will learn it when you are gone.
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2006/10/05, 04:34 PM
sorry....couldn't help myself...
they made me cry in another forum...now I'm just being evil where I can...no worries,it will wear off soon....
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2006/10/05, 04:53 PM
Menance is a good guy - he just tells it like it is.
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Life is a lesson. You will learn it when you are gone.
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2006/10/06, 12:07 PM
How'd you know I was talking about menace....maybe it was....YOU!!!!:big_smile:
He cut me some slack....I feel better now...not that you asked...but I decided to tell ya any way...in case you were wonderin'....
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2006/10/06, 12:44 PM
I read the posts - thats how I know. I would not have cut you the slack.
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Life is a lesson. You will learn it when you are gone.
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2006/10/06, 01:29 PM
Ah great...another one to beat me around the forums...perfect.He only cut me some slack by not calling me an outright idiot anymore...you catch more bees with honey than vinegar.And you see that he actually educated me...if he'd of continued to call me an idiot..I would have never seen his point.
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2006/10/06, 02:16 PM
Ah - you love it !!!!!!!!
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Life is a lesson. You will learn it when you are gone.
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2006/10/06, 02:32 PM
I know ....I'm a sucker for punishment...or drama...haven't really decided yet.....
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2006/10/06, 03:05 PM
If you are like most women, I would say drama.:big_smile:
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Life is a lesson. You will learn it when you are gone.
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2006/10/06, 03:24 PM
mmm....yeah...probably...but lets keep that between just the two of us....:big_smile:
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