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2006/11/08, 09:25 PM
Just curious on everyone's thoughts on the subject and "yes" there is a reason I brought up the subject. Thanks.
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2006/11/08, 09:45 PM
Go for it!
I live the worst years of my life with my kids mother and once I was able to leave her and take the kids with me I did it!
Nothing worst then not wanting to come home to someone and living in a BS relationship, SET YOURSELF free and you'll love to live again! I hated life with that women.
You will find another person that you'll fall in love with again and it's so sweet after a relationship in HELL!
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2006/11/08, 09:52 PM
Yeah, I know what you are talking about. I went through that with my 1st wife! Life just sucked! Now I am starting to get that feeling with the 2nd wife. It just seems its all about her, bu thanks for then input!
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2006/11/08, 10:34 PM
Oh my God, divorce set me free forever. Typ, you didn't learn after the first time? I was married 15 years, unhappily for the last 8 with 4 kids. Life is too short...be happy. I have been with the same bf for the past almost 9 years. He's never been married and I don't feel any need to go there again. I keep my options open.
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2006/11/09, 08:31 AM
well typ....I think it GREATLY depends on your relationship...marriage is WORK everyday...if your partner is worthy of the work.When I was married the first time...I didn't even love the guy...but when we seperated it was still incredibly difficult...and the divorce was still painful,and we didn't have children.I believe if it weren't for the kids now my current husband and I would not be together today...ONLY because it WAS so dam hard in the beginning...after 10 years of a whole lot of sacrifice and work from BOTH of us...there is nothing I would not trade for my marriage.To have that one person in my life that I can share all of my thoughts and feelings with...and never be judged...that was worth every tear.And the fact that he is the father of my children...makes it beautiful.
Now as the child of divorced parents...my parents didn't like eachother much while I was growing up...and however difficult it was..I was always glad to have both my parents.They divorced when I was 22...it was...and still is...incredibly difficult...no holidays together...trying to explain who all of these people(the step parents) are to my kids...I have not had ONE holiday with my kids and my parents...going home to the house I grew up in...that is now run by another women..is so hard I rarely go home.Both of my parents have their own lives they are happy with...and I am happy for them...but I always wished they would have divorced when I was young...I wouldn't have had to grow up with them not liking eachother...and I would not have gotten used to holidays with the whole family together.
So anyway...I guess I'm saying it depends on YOUR marriage...mine now was worth the fight.
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2006/11/09, 09:19 AM
I have to agree with KC's comments. I think marriage is worth fighting for, but not if you are miserable. It is often better for the kids to not have to live with 2 parents hating each other and bickering day to day. On the other hand, marriage is extrememly tough from time to time and I think too many people take the easy way out and just walk away, without trying to reconcile. I know my own marriage has been rocky at times, but we've always pulled thru it and have a stronger relationship because of it.
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2006/11/09, 10:02 AM
My kids made me grow up alot and realize that it's not all about me. My wife and I have our differences, and we have grew apart at times in our life due to centering our focus on our kids, other activities, or just taking each other for granted. I really believe that you have to work to keep your relationship from spinning to far apart. Keep your own identity intact in the relationship, and make sure you don't subject yourself to being used as a doormat. Married without kids was much easier to get a divorce just because I didn't have to think of how my decisions for something NEW in my life would affect the number one loves in my life. I don't think I could ask for a divorce and then ever get married again after taking those vows in front of god without them feeling fake.
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2006/11/09, 11:33 AM
I don't have the feeling of some impending divorce, but it was just a thought that crossed my mind last night. Thanks for all the responses everyone. Gave me some things to consider.
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2006/11/09, 11:44 AM
I AGREE with KC Fly and Gangster. Marriage takes a lot of work. My wife and I have had periods where it seemed like it was the end. We always have managed to work thru it somehow. Now with my boys I work 10000% harder to make it work as being with out them with me day to day would kill me. But you have to see what is best for you both. Good Luck
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When I consider the short duration of my life, swallowed up in the eternity before and after, the little space which I fill and even can see, engulfed in the infinite immensity of spaces of which I am ignorant and which know me not, I am frightened and am astonished at being here rather than there; for there is no reason why here rather than there, why now rather than then. Who has put me here? By whose order and direction have this place and time been allotted to me? The eternal silence of these infinite spaces frightens me.
Blaise Pascal
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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