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How should I handle....

KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/16, 03:45 PM Sticky situations at work....I work the graveyard shift at a local diner...so after 3 am it's me and the cook....an older woman....and thats IT....We get many the drunk come in that make some obscene comments..but they're tolerable...I had a guy come in the other night...he said I looked sleepy,I told him I hadn't slept in over 24 hours...he said he hadn't either,that we should sleep together..so I gave him my standard response to these types of suggestions...my husband wouldn't like that very much...this usually gives them the hint and they knock it off...but this guy says thats OK,his wife wouldn't like it either..so I just shook my head and walked away.I never know how to respond,it's my general attitude to laugh it off and walk away...I am after all in a restaraunt essentially by myself,I'm not going to get confrontational,but I also don't understand why men think they can be so disrespectful???My husband says I need to handle every situation different..and that I can quit any time,working is strictly my choice.The hours are perfect for me,I enjoy my co-workers for the most part...so it's not a matter of just find another job....I'm just curious as to what you guys think would be the best way to handle these guys...and 2....whay are some men so rude???I often wonder if it's me...if I put out some kind of attitude that it's OK,the other women I work with don't seem to have as many problems....I don't know...just curious what you guys think.
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2006/11/16, 03:50 PM Maybe, now I'm just saying maybe, you are too friendly and they take it the wrong way, or perhaps you come off as a flirt.Remember these are not to be insulting,because I really don't know you. Just could be reasons. -------------- A little discipline at the table and at the gym might help reduce that belly! Ivan Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/11/16, 03:50 PM It is not you - some guys are just idiots. They can be rude, vulgar, and disrespectful all at once. I personally do not know why some are that way. It would embarass and humilate me. Like you said, most will just stop it after your comment. If they bother you, just ignore them, if they continue, tell them that it is making you uncomfortable. If they are anyone with any values, they will stop then. If not, spit in their food :big_smile: Now if they touch or threaten you, call the police
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/11/16, 03:52 PM also, good to see that you are facing your fears.
BILL06 Posts: 755 Joined: 2006/08/08	2006/11/16, 04:00 PM yea Kc, tiger id right, its not you, guys just suck. i find it has alot to do with their upbringing, being taught to be respectful at an early age will follow you forever, even if you are drunk. to use being drunk as an excuse is pathetic to say the least.... my best friend, i hate to say is a total smuck when it comes to woman and how he treats them, ive totally warned girls before they dated him to watch out, they will only get hurt, but you know how the girls like the bad boys.... they may go home with the bad boys for the night, but they marry the good guys for life....... :love: -------------- \" Once upon a time there was a light in my life, Now theres only love in the dark \"
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/11/16, 04:01 PM Kick them in the nads! -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/16, 04:03 PM Spit in their food!!!!Thats a good one!!!!Yes Ivan I can be a very big flirt...but only with people I am comfortable with..that know I'm just goofing around and would never take me seriously...at work I am very friendly...but not in a flirty way...I work for tips,most people don't tip as well to a server who is just sufficient...for the most part they like to be made to feel welcome..but I do know that it could be taken the wrong way...so I am careful. For the most part people are polite...but at least twice a week I get the guy thats a slime ball...and I tend to get them the most...it could be the hours too...they usually show up between 2 and 4...it is hell to wonder if it's a vibe I'm putting out...especially when I try hard not too...
BILL06 Posts: 755 Joined: 2006/08/08	2006/11/16, 04:22 PM Message Deleted due to unsuitable content by moderator
BILL06 Posts: 755 Joined: 2006/08/08	2006/11/16, 04:22 PM hmmm -------------- \" Once upon a time there was a light in my life, Now theres only love in the dark \"
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/11/16, 04:27 PM Maybe talk to the day manager and see how they think it should be handled. They should not want their employees harrassed. The 2-4 am time is the drunks that left the bars alone and here you are.
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/11/16, 04:29 PM Message deleted by moderator due to unsuitable content for this board.
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/16, 04:35 PM tiger and his double posts:laugh:J/K...the site seems a little whacky again today...they say the same thing..ignore them,if I'm uncomfortable in any way for any reason call the police...they'll back me up no matter my reason for calling...and yes suppose your right...I am sort of setting myself up with the time frame! bill:laugh:...seems you have been added to the deletenaters list....hmmmm:big_smile:
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/11/16, 04:43 PM I just thought you needed to hear it twice
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/16, 04:44 PM ahhh...good lookin' out buddy:)
bigandrew Posts: 5,146 Joined: 2002/10/21	2006/11/16, 05:40 PM Tell him after the warts go away you'll think about it. -------------- Get your bicep curling, cut off shirt, matching workout outfit wearing,flexing in mirror "toned" wanna-be ass , out of my squat rack! People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/16, 06:00 PM oh....man didn't even think of that...or I'll tell 'um I'll let 'um know after the test comes back:big_smile:
	2006/11/17, 01:33 AM #1 it's late #2 they are drunk #3 they are not very bright #4 there's little repercussion #5 little security what kind of people come into the diner at that hour? most people are sound asleep....so make your own conclusions...(yes I know some people make a living at night...but I see drunks and idiots whenever I stop by a diner at 2-3am...)... hope it works out for you...
ruining Posts: 13 Joined: 2006/11/14	2006/11/17, 03:15 AM ^^^^ +1 It's not you. You just happen to work in an environment where people feel like this is 'okay'. I think you're doing a fine job with your response, and I wouldn't do anything differently. Good luck.
flyonthewall Posts: 1,823 Joined: 2005/01/18	2006/11/17, 09:23 AM I think what you're experiencing comes with the territory. You just have to deal with it the best way you can, and if it gets out of hand, seek assistance. I know as a waitress, you have to be friendly, it's really the only way to make a good buck. I think your responses have been spot on. Even the nicest guys can get stupid when drunk. Good Luck!
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2006/11/17, 09:03 PM and what are you doing out at 2 or 3 am Leo?? LOL! Just kidding. My daughter actually works graveyard too and the stories she tells...uggghhh. Leo's point is very well taken all 5 of them. Just remember, that hot coffee carafe is only steps away..that is what i tell my daughter. Who cares if it accidently slips out of your hand and over their head...even if they didn't order coffee. -------------- Bettia.... You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. -Mark Twain ravenbeauty@freetrainers.com
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/17, 09:54 PM :big_smile::laugh:....thats perfect RB!!!!!!!
thepoohguy Posts: 114 Joined: 2006/09/26	2006/11/18, 08:32 PM "I used to work at the International House of Pancakes, thank you very much. Well, you set your goals and you go for them. When people were rude to me, I would touch their eggs. I'd just flip em over a couple of times, they didn't know, I felt better, it worked out.":laugh: ^Excerpt from a Paula Poundstone stand up routine. I've always lived by the rule, all men are pigs, it's just to what degree we are that can make one lady happy for the rest of her life.:big_smile: -------------- 90 lbs. to lose - Yes this changed down 10 lbs!
gangstershoes Posts: 641 Joined: 2005/05/27	2006/11/21, 09:32 AM "my husband wouldn't like that" involves a hint that your not interested, but can also be percieved as on the down low by a 3AM drunk or a sober person if you say it in the right flirty nature. Keep your responses direct and it will probably help you not get offended. Honestly if you get offended by that though, the graveyard shift might not be your cup of tea.
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/21, 02:57 PM Don't think I said I was offended by this particular statement...I was just unsure of how how to respond...was humor appropriate was my question...a direct response felt a little confrontational to me personaly,but is probably the way to go.The graveyard shift is relatively new to me,I've only worked it a few months,off and on...and it is defineatly an interesting shift.I got an intersting "proposal" from a dancer from the "gentlemens" club last night...that left me speechless and red faced...but was funny in the end.I believe the graveyard shift takes some getting used to.
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2006/11/21, 03:00 PM Was the dancer male, or female? -------------- A little discipline at the table and at the gym might help reduce that belly! Ivan Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
flyonthewall Posts: 1,823 Joined: 2005/01/18	2006/11/21, 04:28 PM Ya, I was kinda wondering the same thing:)
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/21, 04:32 PM ...here we call booby bars "gentlemens clubs"..it was a girl...after the akwardness,it was funny...funny girl.But that was a first...never been hit on by a girl before...at least I don't think:big_smile:
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/11/21, 09:25 PM I know that I am going to get trashed for admitting this.... I was hit on by a guy before. And yes I was offended (mostly) and no I did not accept his offer
	2006/11/21, 09:33 PM I never get hit on. Not even by boys. you must be a real hunk atiger. -------------- Sometimes life is like herding cats. Charlie
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2006/11/21, 09:37 PM Thanks for clearing it up. The only thing hitting on me lately is my dog, what a pig! -------------- A little discipline at the table and at the gym might help reduce that belly! Ivan Montreal Canada (City of Festivals)
	2006/11/22, 12:31 AM Bettia you're too funny. I used to get off work at close to 1am. Also coming back from places/events late when nothing is open except all night diners somewhat makes you end up there if you're hungry(I am not a big fan of them...but I usually go there with friends). Funny how I always see at least 1 drunk there.... Dont feel bad Atiger I got hit on by guys before also. It's kind of flattering...we usually laugh off the incident when I tell them I am straight....gotta love san francisco :] lol charlie....dont feel down...I am sure with a few more squats you'll have lads leering at you 24/7...and if not move to westcoast...lmao
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/22, 08:35 AM :big_smile::laugh:...thats funny ivan!!!! I'll hit on ya charlie...I'm not a guy...it'll just have to do...:big_smile: tiger....yes you must be quite the looker...gay men tend to have rather nice taste...it was hell living in the bay area...most of the good looking guys were taken by the other good looking guys!!
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2006/11/22, 08:36 AM Charlies problem lies in the fact his best love is a Buffalo! -------------- Curl Jockeys, get outta the squat rack! 7707mutt@freetrainers.com
ATIGER Posts: 992 Joined: 2003/02/26	2006/11/22, 09:13 AM Thanks for the compliments but I just think the guy was a pervert. I was about 17 yrs old at the time.
bigandrew Posts: 5,146 Joined: 2002/10/21	2006/11/23, 07:38 PM alas tiger I have too....:surprised: comes with the territory though I guess? -------------- Get your bicep curling, cut off shirt, matching workout outfit wearing,flexing in mirror "toned" wanna-be ass , out of my squat rack! People don't reach thier true potental, only those who seek it.
raiderfanusa Posts: 139 Joined: 2002/06/06	2006/11/28, 01:45 PM KC, as long as you feel safe just be yourself. Consider the fact that those disrespectfull pigs are just trying to bring you down to their level. Sometimes it is as simple as laughing it off and remembering that your work is what you do, NOT Who You Are ! -------------- Only two defending forces have ever offered to die for You. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. Both died for your Freedom!
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/28, 03:41 PM raiderfan...what part of Northern Ca.????I was born and raised in Hayward...
raiderfanusa Posts: 139 Joined: 2002/06/06	2006/11/29, 05:29 PM Willits. It is considered to be the Gateway to the Redwoods. It is 80 miles north of Santa Rosa on hwy 101, 35 miles inland from the coast (Ft.Bragg). A very beautiful place with mild climates. Great scenery for outdoor activities. I love it here. I was raised here and now I am raising my family here. -------------- Only two defending forces have ever offered to die for You. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. Both died for your Freedom!
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/29, 05:34 PM hmmmm....sounds like where my grandmother lived....oh...can't remember the name of the little town...but it was stunning...to put it mildly. Freestone....that was it....
raiderfanusa Posts: 139 Joined: 2002/06/06	2006/11/30, 11:06 AM Freestone! that is down by Bodega Bay and Santa Rosa. I dont believe I have ever been to Freestone paticularly. I have been to Bodega Bay. I imagine you know they filmed the old movie The Birds there. Where are you now?
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/11/30, 11:14 AM Now I'm in San Antonio tx...my husband is from here...when he was getting out of the military I was looking for houses...I put in my price range and size home I needed in a bay area home search....NONE existed...so it was howdy texas!!!!!! I used to go to Bodega bay with my grandmother and get hand made salt water taffy....delicious...it really is so beautiful there...her house was on top of a little ...well I called it a mountain...probably more of a hill...I can still hear the gravel under the tires and smell the honeysuckle....Northern Ca is the most beautiful enchanting place...but I would of had to sell my first born to live there...and we've grown kinda attatched to her!!!! **On a side note....conan..if you read this and see I've gone off track after I said I was trying to improve in that department...this is my own thread...so it's allowed...it's in the FT rule book...right mutt????
raiderfanusa Posts: 139 Joined: 2002/06/06	2006/11/30, 03:20 PM Your absolutely right KC about it being beautiful as well as expensive housing. Being prior service myself I honor your husband for his contribution to this great country. I have been all over the U.S. so I am familiar with Texas though I was never stationed there. My wife if from Sacramento Valley. Her and both our daughters love it here as much as I do. P.S. LOL ! I hope I dont get you in trouble with Conan and Mutt........... but thanks for the posts and dont worry about those jerks at work. Just consider the source and keep your chin up. Laughter is Great Medicine! -------------- Only two defending forces have ever offered to die for You. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. Both died for your Freedom!
conan_0822 Posts: 441 Joined: 2006/11/23	2006/12/06, 06:34 AM Wow! I'm popular here already. I think I may have not expressed my post in the manner in which it was intended!! I don't mind playful banter and even the occassional name calling between members. What I don't care for are people that sign up just to be idiots on the forums. I am assuming I am the "Conan" people are refering to?? It is a weight training sight, so I wouldn't be suprised there were more than one "Conan".
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/06, 02:21 PM No....I understood what you were saying...I was just teasing you conan...:)
conan_0822 Posts: 441 Joined: 2006/11/23	2006/12/07, 12:25 PM OK Thanks KC. I've only made 30 posts but to see my name used in reference was kind of startling! I thought I'd already made the "black list" or something. But, as I read more and more on the forums, I could see how the "old timers" could get frustrated. I see people posting once and then never heard from again, or asking the same questions over and over but not noticing all the great answers that were posted in response!
raiderfanusa Posts: 139 Joined: 2002/06/06	2006/12/07, 05:41 PM I can only imagine how the moderators and others keep answering the same old questions with the professional caring concern for our fittness goals without loosing their sanity. I think that is one of the things that makes this the greatest fitness site on the planet! and Conan, KC is just being true to herself (Always fun; right KC ?) . lol! -------------- Only two defending forces have ever offered to die for You. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. Both died for your Freedom!
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/12/08, 04:32 PM I try and be fun raider.....but half the time no one gets my jokes...oh well.....what're ya gonna do!!!!:big_smile::love:
CristalBelle Posts: 1,389 Joined: 2003/06/27	2006/12/08, 05:45 PM I ALWAYS get your jokes KC. It's a girl thing! :love: