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2007/01/08, 07:17 AM
Guys, Girls, Men and Women, I have a question about an issue that I would like to get some real opinions about... No right or wrong answers here.
When you see a young (teens to early 20's), single, mother, what do you think of her, her child, and/or situation??
Ta.
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To Find Power, Turn Within.
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2007/01/08, 08:19 AM
I wonder how they do it...I had my first at 24 ...barely had the patience...and the kids dad was the best...did it all...I don't think I could have done it on my own.
My very best friend had a baby...a truely beautiful child...at 16...she graduated high school...continued onto college...is now a social worker...she bought her own home...and provides very well for her family.
She's tough...it takes courage and determination...but her strength is amazing...so I always think of her...and am awed by young single mothers.
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\\"If you had one shot...or one opportunity to seize all you ever wanted...in one moment...would you capture it...or just let it slip\\"
eminem
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2007/01/08, 09:16 AM
Umm, when you see them ,how do you know they are single?
Anyhow - if they are taking good care of the baby and functioning well in society, good for them.
I sometimes wish, energywise, I had started earlier, so I could keep up better with my daughter. But I am also glad that I had those early twenties to myself, too.
I do think that there are too many people not using the available methods of birth control, especially when they can't afford to feed or house themselves, much less a child or five.
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Until you value yourself you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
M. Scott Peck
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2007/01/08, 01:33 PM
This may be off topic but I got it in an email and it just seemed right. A mother is a mother regardless of her age or single or married. Some of you may already seen this I know this is not the first time I recieved it.
BEING A MOTHER ..........
After 21 years of marriage, My wife wanted me to take
another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you,
but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some
time with you."
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my
MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my
work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only
occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and
a movie.
"What's wrong, are you well," she asked?
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call
or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,"
I responded. "Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like
that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I as a bit
nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too,
seemed to be nervous about our date.
She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and
was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her
last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.
"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son,
and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car.
"They can't wait to hear about our meeting."
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was
very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the
First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only
read large print. Half way through the entries,
I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A
nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to
read the menu when you were small," she said.
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I
responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation,
nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each
other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out
with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.
"Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It
happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for
her.
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a
restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.
An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't
sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two
plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know
what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in
time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they
deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give
them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off
till "some other time".
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to
normal after you've had a baby .... somebody doesn't know that
once you're a mother, "normal" is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct, somebody
never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring ... somebody never rode in a
car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will
"turn out good"....somebody thinks a child comes with directions
and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices .
somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her
child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a
mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as
you love the first .. somebody doesn't have two children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her
child-rearing questions in the books.... somebody never had a
child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labour
and delivery....somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus
for the first day of kindergarten or on a plane headed for
military "boot camp."
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed
and one hand tied behind her back ....somebody never organized
seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child
gets married....somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new
son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child
leaves home....somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't
need to tell her.... somebody isn't a mother.
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2007/01/08, 04:16 PM
This is interesting, because I was actually thinking about this today. I had to take off my wedding ring because my fingers are swollen sausages, and I was instantly thrown the thought of "Someone is going to think I'm some young un-wed mother to be." And I felt ashamed of myself. It all ties back to actually being a young unwed mother to be when I was 19, but good Lord, who would have though that 5 years later those thoughts would still come back to haunt me?
We live in the 21st century, but stereotypes and prejudices are still as strong as ever when it comes to this topic. One of the reasons my husband and I stopped going to our old church was because of the looks and snickers we would recieve simply due to the fact that we had had a child out of wedlock.
Ummm..yeah, my soapbox finally arrived I guess?.... :(
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2007/01/16, 06:58 PM
i think about this all the time i'm not a single mother but i am only 20. the day when i went to the bank and took out my baby bonus money to buy some very much needed baby stuff the women in line ( who were old) shook their heads at me like i was some young mother who was going on a shopping spree with my babies money. and when my baby was crying in her pram i was hurrying myself of to a baby changing centre when an older man looked at me and said " are'nt you going to feed that child??" like i was some sort of idiot mother who was just going to let her scream!!! sometimes when ppl just assume thing it annoys me YOU dont know anything about me!!! some ppl also just assume your married just because you have a child doesn't mean you have to get married either.
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2007/01/17, 10:13 AM
I don't have any judgements concieved prior to meeting a young single parent as long as his/her children are respectful or when found to be disrespectful they are corrected immediately. Relationship wise, if I were single my kids would take priority, so I would have to say I would prefer a girl that didn't already have children. It's a double standard, but the truth.
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