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2007/03/02, 02:50 PM
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer. After sitting there for a
while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I
think it is only fair given that you are blind that you should know five
things:
1. "The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat."
2. "The bouncer is a blonde girl."
3. "I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in
karate."
4. "The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional
weightlifter."
5. "The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler."
"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No,
not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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Sometimes life is like herding cats.
Charlie
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2007/03/02, 02:56 PM
LMAO!! Charlie that was a good one guy! Thanks for the laughs....:love::big_smile:
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Bettia
\"Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open.\" - Lord Thomas Dewar
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2007/03/02, 03:42 PM
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly,
Sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy
Is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a football."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - $250.00
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have football shoes."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - $750.00
Man - "Sold."
A few days later, the boys father says to the boy, "Grab your shoes and
football, let's go outside and have a game of football.
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and shoes."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -$1,000.00
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to
church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in
the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that crap again.
You're in My closet now"
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Sometimes life is like herding cats.
Charlie
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2007/03/02, 04:44 PM
TO funny!!!:big_smile:
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Whiners play alone...
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2007/03/02, 05:09 PM
ONE FOR THE TROOPS...sums up my feelings on officers
Officer vs. NCO observations
The Company Commander and the First Sergeant were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the First Sergeant said, "Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
The CO said, "I see millions of stars."
1st Sgt.: "And what does that tell you, sir?"
CO: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?"
1st Sgt.: "Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent."
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Sometimes life is like herding cats.
Charlie
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2007/03/02, 05:48 PM
Those were great! Thanks :-)
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