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2007/03/11, 12:30 AM
Ok...My boyfriend of 2 years says I'm fine the way I am...I don't feel like I'm fine the way I am...I'm trying to lose weight, and get toned to be healthy...but there's so much going on right now I'm finding it hard to find time to work out. I get home from work or school and I'm exausted. It frustrates him when I say I'm fat, I'm trying not to be so down on myself, but it's hard not to when I see that I'm not doing anything but I know I need to. I don't know what I should do...
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2007/03/11, 05:53 AM
I know this isnt much help but you're not the only one. I totally sympathise. There just doesnt seem to be enough hours after work and kids etc. I don't know how I am meant to find the motivation to work out for 45 mins at 9 o'clock at night.
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2007/03/11, 06:05 AM
maybe you should see someone about depression? you might think you dont have it but a few of those things you said sound very familiar to me and i had severe depression and never even knew. though i could be totally of the mark here.
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2007/03/11, 08:03 AM
Your boyfriend loves you so he will be blind to the faults you find in yourself. Or, if he does see them he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. You have to make the changes you want to make for you and only you. I also predict he will worry about you when your weight drops, I know I did when my wife's did.
If you are exhausted have you looked at your diet? Are you eating enough complex carbs in the day to keep you fuelled up or are you 'starving' yourself to lose weight. (I don't mean actually starving yourself, but just dropping calories by large amounts).
The strange thing is when you are eating badly and not excercising you have no energy. The smarter you eat and more active you get the more energy you'll have. My colleague who gets a lift from me to work everyday eats terribly and has no exercise, by the time we're driving home he's saying how tired he is and napping in the car while I'm thinking about 90 minutes in the gym. We both had the same day, he just doesn't fuel up right.
It is hard not to feel down about it, but you have to take responsibility. Do you *really* want to do this? Are you *really* ready to put in the hard work? Visualisation is a great tool. Take some time out and picture you in six months time having lost some weight. What does this other you look like? How does she feel when she goes to buy clothes? Describe her personality, is she happy, confident? Really see her in your mind. When you are faced with those tough choices diet or activity-wise, bring back the image in your mind and remind yourself of where you're aiming for. It might help you keep focus.
Another trick is to take the negative dismissive defeatest voice in your head (we all have one -"it's too hard", "you're too fat", "I'll start tomorrow") and change it's voice to the whineyest, mewling, pathetic Smeagle voice you can. Basicly you need to make that voice less credible so you don't listen to it anymore.
Just some ideas, I hope they help - it's horrible to be at that trying to start part. Keep your focus and start!
Jon
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2007/03/11, 11:37 AM
nice answer, jonshez - good to have you on the boards!
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If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can\'t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.
Rosalyn Carter
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2007/03/11, 12:24 PM
Ditto!
I would like to add that if you do really, truly want to be fit, you have to make it a priority. Going to the gym has to become a habit like brushing your teeth. You don't decide a few days a week that you aren't going to brush your teeth because you don't have time. Appearance aside, your health is and should be a top priority--yet society operates as if it is just an afterthought. It really is a mindset that you have to force yourself to adopt--not easy--but necessary. Once you do, you'll discover a new sense of confidence and become a role model for others.
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Quoting from asimmer:
nice answer, jonshez - good to have you on the boards!
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2007/03/12, 01:15 AM
After I read all your posts...I actually started crying...Thanks for responding, to be truthful, I thought people would just ignore my post and say I'm a whiny teen not reading the "what to do" pages. All I know is I truely want this. I'm unable to get to a gym via the moment because of finances, I have <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dance_Dance_Revolution">DDR</a> and a treadmill...I jog 5 mins a day on it...I don't know where my weights are. I actually eat healthy...no crap foods! Another reason I'm having trouble getting to a gym is because of my mom...I'm not blaming her or anything. See, I don't have my drivers license or a car, so I depend on her for transportation...My mother is morbidly obesse...I know it's very painful for her to go up and down stairs, get in and out of the car, well basically random things of everyday life. She is the one person who has inspired me to lose my weight before it's too late...I'm seriously afraid to end up like her...I'm not saying that as a bad thing, she's a wonderful person and I love her very much, but she never tried to lose her weight. I probabally need to stop typing...I need to sleep...I don't think I've been getting enough sleep...that might be why I'm down. Oh yea, I got checked out...I'm not depressed...Just have a lot of work to do to better myself.
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2007/03/12, 06:17 AM
Awww don't cry (unless it's a happy cry, then it's all good).
It isn't hard to exercise, it isn't hard to eat right, but by jove it's hard to be disciplined!!!
May I make a suggestion? Don't job for 5 mins a day, try walking for 30, and build it up to 45 or 60. If your treadmill allows you to add a gradient do so. Walking with a gradient is a great fat burner but you really need to get past the 20 minute mark to get any fat burning benefit. I couldn't run 20 minutes yet, but walking is just slow jogging so you can work longer and get better benefits.
If you truly want to do this, take it one step at a time, make better small decisions and don't let the occasional obstacle throw you right back to square one.
Falling is not falling down, but refusing to get up.
We're here for you when you need us.
Jon
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2007/03/12, 08:35 PM
It was a happy cry:big_smile: Thanks:) I'm going to keep trying...I found a protien bar that has 32g of protien in it...low cal too...well 200 somthing...not bad...:)
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2007/03/18, 07:32 AM
So Missfelix, how you doing now?
Energy levels any better?
How are you managing with the difficulties getting to the gym?
Just wondrin'
Jon
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