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2002/01/26, 01:12 AM
Has anyone experienced a breakup (or strain) in their relationship(s) because of weight training/bodybuilding?
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2002/01/26, 03:39 AM
No, not yet. But I once threatened my husband that if he didn't start weight training immediatly, I would go out jumping on the first muscular guy I'll see on the street!!!!
Well, he's weight training now...... (what a cruel woman I am....)
It's a good question thou Rpacheco. Since BB is filling out so much our time, then it'll be difficult to be with somebody that doesn't share your interest.
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2002/01/26, 10:16 AM
Well the other way around is quite popular.. problems in relationships or breakups can very much affect training for awhile.. it's great when you get to balance the two. Like Philia said.. if you don't find someone interested in the lifestyle then there will be eventual problems arising..
.o0 Arnold 0o.
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2002/01/26, 11:32 PM
yeah i had to break up with a girlfriend of mine that i had been goin out with for 6 months because she didnt like the fact that i was always lifting weights
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2002/01/27, 08:56 AM
So true! Many couples train together. Its not the only glue in a relationship but if your partner is against time in the gym then that will be just ONE of the problems. My husband is glad I train( you know those bedroom posts)and if he slacks off for a while I just make a few comments about some muscular lean guy I see (usually on TV as they are rare around here) and Bam! back to the gym he goes.
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2002/01/27, 02:34 PM
The girlfriend I had while I was competing was VERY supportive and understanding... a real boost to me and my training.
But I think capitalism may be worst! Since I bought and started running my company, I havent had the time to date anyone in a year and a half!!
*sniffle, sigh* (LOL)...............Michael
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2002/01/28, 09:29 PM
This too will pass.........
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2002/01/30, 07:53 AM
Just to razz rev8ball...where is that hair - your profile said it was brown and your pic looks like skin. ark ark.
Anyway.....the best is finding a mate out there who likes to work out too, then you have the best of both worlds, with them working out with you! Darn ltroisi, where the heck do you live that there arent many muscle bombshells there? All I can say about working out is...great self esteem booster and we look a heck of a lot better in clothes...I never would of put on leather pants until this recent relationship got me a pair!
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2002/01/30, 10:59 PM
Hey WOGirl I live in central NY state near the PA border. Its fingerlakes area, wine country and YES we have limited Muscle Men here. My own husband is the best there is for 100's of miles and I am an anomoly. I am the talk of the town cuz I compete(get on stage in a bikini and heels, my mom was shocked!)
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2002/01/30, 11:03 PM
I hate that I wasn't finished! I sympathize with Philia2 in France. She also lives in an area where women don't lift weights! People here like to eat. Life revolves around food I think! Restaurant is the biggest business here.
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2002/01/30, 11:55 PM
I am in the Marines and my husband is civilian. He is living in Cali. right now and I am stationed in Japan. I had a baby a little over a year ago and just started really focusing on getting my body back in shape. Since my husband and daughter aren't here with me, it makes it a lot easier. My husband isn't the type to spend time working out, but he has his own interests such as sports (I don't care for them), so when I go home, he'll just do his thing and I'll do mine. If someone is that hung up on you spending time to improve your body and HEALTH, then maybe they need to find a hobby themselves and be a little more independent.
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2002/02/04, 02:36 PM
Hello everyone. Although I often read these boards this is my very first post (applause). I'd like to flip this question around and ask if a relationship has ever put a strain on your training time or lack thereof?
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2002/02/04, 04:12 PM
i can see where that could happen, lumina, but i just never allowed it.
by the way, welcome aboard and congrats on your first post!!
michael
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2002/02/05, 02:24 AM
Okey look at it this way: you love somebody and he/she is happy when training. You're a little egocentric and you want him/her for you, but when the person is with you he/she is sad because of NOT training (and your time together will be no fun).
Dilemma......
Actually the very best thing is to find somebody with the same interest as you. Okey maybe he/she is not as serious as you, but still he/she will easier understand why you go to the gym that often.....
Ah well. We cannot live without love, but love can also be a pain in the neck! (o:
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2002/02/05, 10:11 AM
I can certainly see this happening.
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2002/02/06, 12:17 AM
I have first-hand experience with this topic......and I will go ahead and share. I had been with this guy for over 2 years...I supported him in everything he did...we both worked out daily FAITHFULLY. He competed the whole time we were together...and I helped with the meals, supplements, etc. We were really doing well for about a year and a half of the time....then he sat me down one day and told me that he was going to be "trying ONE"cycle of roids...because he really REALLY wanted to get big...and he explained to me that that was the only way. Well...to make a really long story short....the one cycle turend into MANY cycles....and then the reages began. Boy...that last 8 months was hell. I really saw, first-hand, the effects.....and I hated it. In fact, I couldn't deal with it any longer...and needless to say...I am all alone again!!!!! :(
Everything works out in the end though...so I am keeping my head up...
Anyone else with similar experiences..please share!!!
sg
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2002/02/06, 10:10 AM
Wow! Thanks for sharing that with us, SG. I'm confident you'll find someone else and you won't be alone for long...
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2002/02/06, 10:33 AM
Wow.. so he developed some serious Roid Rage? That's too bad that the drugs / bodybuilding became a priority over the relationship.. sorry.
Listen.. there are sooo many guys out there who find it very, very attractive and sexy that when a girl goes to the gym.. it shows so much about their inner selves as well. I feel you can tell alot about a person watching them in the gym.
Sorry I can't relate directly.. but it's great that you stood by him with the choices he made.. too bad he didn't stand by you.
.o0 Arnold 0o.
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2002/02/10, 09:55 AM
my first wife could not stand it that i was going to the gym. we both had put on weght and i was a sad case. no confidence in myself, low selfesteem, tired all the time no interest in anything. so i joined a gym and went from 285lbs with a 48inch waiste to 200lbs with a 34 in waiste. my wife hated it. she did not want to see me go forward. and it put a big strain on our marriage. i then started power lifting and put some weight on and felt very good about my self. needless to say my wife stayed on the computor 12-16 hours a day. we saw each other less and less and before you know it divorce. i felt free and sad .free that she was gone and i was released frombeing brought down, but sad because of my 2 children of whom i had to learn to live without seeing every day. but i do get them 3 days every week and they are proud of me. that was 7 years ago. after that relationship i hook up with another lady who i thought would be good for me but after 3-years of negativity i learned again. glad i did not marry her lol. but now i have met someone who not only supports me in bodybuilding but is very much a positive person. who loves me for me. who has the same dreams as i and looks forward not backward. so i married her in oct last year and have never ver been so happy. she has no desire to go to the gym or ven workout but hey it doenot bother me. she knows the gym is my mental and pysical theroputic for me ! she is what i have search for all my life . my kids and hers . we are all one big happy family.so this has help my relationship today. bodybuilding help me set goals , go futher than i have ever gone before in life and has gave me something that i am good out and my kids can be proud of.
david
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2002/02/10, 10:05 AM
Nice David! Good to know that you are happy today.
Me too, I also cannot live without training, my husband knows and understands that today.
But another thing which still was a little bit difficult for him to understand is the diet.
The way that I eat (7 small protein meals a day) is not always easy to understand for "daily life" people....(of course it doesn't help that I'm now on a precomp diet as well).
Luckily we don't have any kids yet.
How do you peeps handle always to eat right and follow the "normal" family life next to?
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2002/02/10, 10:41 AM
it was hard at first . my wife always freid foods and cook with corn oil. made me sick just to smell it. i got her to use cannola oil and stop frying everything. but being from the south that is hard to do. she does fixx me my meals when i ask and will bake my foods . she will pull my meats from what she cooks for the kids and put it to the side.she will cook my stuff while she cooks their stuff. they are all eating better than before. on days i cook i make my stuff from scratch and the kids love it. one fav is my spaghetti and meatballs. my meat is the very lean black angus beef that is about 7% fat and my sauce is all naturall that takes 2 days to make i got from my grandmother who came from italy and dr on itba little. the meat balls cook the second day first in the oven then in the sauce for about 4 hours and let me tell you they eat it up. my paste is vegie or whole wheat or egg noodles i cook a variety of that and then i make homade ice tea. my wife at first use to say are you eating again? you just ate 2 hours ago. i would laugh . now she says i got some food for you in the frig and how amny times have you eaten today . she worries that i donot eat enough or that iam hungry so all i got to say is that it is all gooood!
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2002/02/10, 03:52 PM
That's great! Glad things have worked out for you!
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2002/02/25, 08:44 AM
<chuckle> An interesting topic ... can't resist my adding my 2 cents!
Actually stopped going to the gym at the request of my last boyfriend. He said girls shouldn't have muscles ... and that I spent too much time working out. Silly me. That's a mistake I'll never make again. But now I'm back ... <grin> and everything is grand!!
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2002/02/25, 10:29 AM
Welcome to ft! Hope that you are now with someone who understands and share your interest in working out...
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**_Robert_**
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2002/08/05, 10:55 AM
I would love to have some insight about what might be going on with my relationship especially from the female perspective.
A little over a year ago I was a 6 ft 260 lb slob. I finally decided to do somethiong about it and went on a diet and started exercising (mostly lifting). I set a reasonable goal of 5 lbs a month and after a year was pretty happy with myself. Had dropped 70 lbs, had a bf of 12% and water weight of 70%. You would think my wife we be ecstatic right? Wrong. She has done nothing but discourage my getting in shape from the get go. I bought my own gym equipment so I could exercise at home but anytime I go work out for even 10 minutes she gets pissed and won't speak to me the rest of the evening. I'm limited to exercising now only when she is not home. She belittles my losses and gains to my friends. One of my good friends who is in about the same shape as I was when I started wanted to start working out with me. She shot that down completely. I ask her to buy certain things for me when she goes shopping (i.e. fat free yougart, turkey, etc) and she flatly refuses but buys all kinds of junk food. She has never had 1 good thing to say about the way I look now although everyone else I know has. I run into people I haven't seen in a while who don't even recognize me.
I just don't get it. I would have thought she would be happier with a healthier, leaner husband. I should point out that she is not a slob. She's in good shape herself and is almost too skinny. Anybody have any idea what might be going on with her? I've even asked her point blank and she says I'm imagining things but I'm not. It's driving me nuts and putting a real strain on our marriage.
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2002/08/05, 11:17 AM
Well I am no expert, but it sounds like she might be jealous of the attention you may get (or she might be making that up). I mean you went from a "slob" to a fit cut BBulider. Maybe she is afraid that you will find someone else to be with? Just a thought.
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"When in danger, or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout" LIFT HARD AND OFTEN!!!!!!
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2002/08/05, 11:41 AM
Have you asked her why she does that?
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**_Robert_**
Pain is temporary; glory is forever!
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2002/08/05, 12:16 PM
Yeah, maybe she thinks that now that you're looking much better, that someone else might be/come into the picture. Or maybe she thinks that the time you spend working out should be spent with her. That is quite the confusing situation though. If she continues to refuse to explain why she dislikes your current routine so much, maybe you two should go see a counselor. Maybe there are things you are doing now, that you didn't do before, that irk her and you just haven't noticed.
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2002/08/05, 01:45 PM
Sounds like some esteem issues....
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Practice does NOT make perfect. Perfect practice does.
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2002/08/05, 02:38 PM
Thanks for the responses. They all pretty much validated what I was thinking. I do get hit on a lot now but she knows I just laugh it off. On the other hand she is a bartender and she also get's hit on a lot, something that I have also just laughed off. I'm proud to have a wife that other guys find attractive. I make it a point to not hang out at her bar but we ran into some of her regulars somewhere else a while back and they apparantly spread the word that it wasn't a good idea to hit on her because her husband is a big ugly goon that looks like he could rip your head off. She seemed kind of pissed about that like it was my fault. She also says that it seems I get argumentative when I work out and while it's true that the only time it seems we argue is about that, I try to tell her it's because of the slurs and cold shoulder I get from her so maybe my personality does change or at least she perceives it that way. I don't know. It just sucks that I have to sneak around to workout.
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2002/08/05, 04:37 PM
Umm, there is alot more there going on than just issues with working out. It reminds me of the old conundrum of you know your best friends wife is cheating on him, but do you say anything because you know you might get blamed.
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Practice does NOT make perfect. Perfect practice does.
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2002/08/05, 05:43 PM
I agree with Cain...there is more to it that what you described. Maybe you should have a "serious" talk with her and lay things out on the table...
Good luck!
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**_Robert_**
Pain is temporary; glory is forever!
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2002/08/05, 07:52 PM
I am glad you got healthier and I am constantly trying to motivate my husband to workout. the only thing that I can think of is jealousy. You can try to reassure her that you aren't going anywhere. When is the last time you took her on a night out on the town. Maybe some romatic time together might help. Just a suggestion, it can always spice up a marriage and it don't have to be expensive to be romantic.
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Lisa
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2002/08/06, 06:30 PM
That could help too.
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My body is a temple, and my mind is the god I worship.
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2002/08/07, 01:52 PM
My two cents, first off the openness and sharing here is second to none. My experiances have been good, my wife has been very suportive as fare as that goes so has my kids. I am the only one involve with ft. but the eating habbits have changes throught my house hold we are all eating much better. My wife and I enjoy long walks as often as we can and boating & swimming are frequent activities and both my girls are involved in Martial Arts. My wife and I have been together for 19 years, married 14 of those. We are as close if not closer than ever, we try to share as much of our lives with one another as possible if a relationship is strong enough and not hurtful anything can be overcome. Good luck to all that are have problems here
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember the ark was built by amateurs, The Titanic was built by professionals.
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2002/08/07, 06:11 PM
Having your family involved in your workouts are a great thing. i got my husband working out now and when I go home we can do it together. My daughter is only two but I will be able to take her on walks and to the park to play. I plan on putting her in gymnastics once we move to South Carolina and also some kind of martial arts training. She is gonna kick some a#$ once she is older. All the kidnapping and stuff going on right now in the States has gotten me worried and I want her to able able to defend herself no matter what age. I will continue to make her do martial arts training until she is out of the house, but any other activities will be her choice when she is able to make her own decisions. Family is very important and they must be involved in everything you do so that you can learn from each other and spend "quality" time together.
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Lisa
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2002/08/08, 09:17 AM
You got it Lisa!! And having to girls I can relate to your concerns mine are 11 & 8, Oldest is a blue belt yonger orange. They are timid in some ways to use what they have learned to defend them selves like at school or on the play ground unless the agrivator is a boy then they both seem to enjoy putting them in thier place. So yes to self defence defence for children.
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember the ark was built by amateurs, The Titanic was built by professionals.
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2002/08/08, 02:37 PM
Just be cautious not get an opposite effect and make them hate it by forcing them into it...
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My body is a temple, and my mind is the god I worship.
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2002/08/08, 08:34 PM
That is why I will let her choose her own sports or whatever, but I think if I start her out young enough, it will be just a way of life for her. I plan on doing what I can with her so it will also give us quality time together.
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Lisa
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2002/08/09, 12:08 AM
That's cool. Just known too many parents that force their kids to things they hate.
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My body is a temple, and my mind is the god I worship.
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2002/08/09, 12:08 AM
That's cool. Just known too many parents that force their kids to things they hate.
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My body is a temple, and my mind is the god I worship.
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2002/08/09, 09:56 AM
I see that a lot at Karate, kids dont want to be there and it shows big time sometimes you have to talk to parents. my kids seem to be in the groove for now every now and then they get a little tired so they get time off from the dojo. but they have always asked to go back after a few days or a week. I think it works because we are doing it together and they like that. Just cant get mom involved too bad.
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember the ark was built by amateurs, The Titanic was built by professionals.
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2002/08/09, 12:58 PM
I actually just told a friend that he should just take his child to a demo/tournament and see what they thought. If it was something that interested them than enroll them.
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My body is a temple, and my mind is the god I worship.
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