prejudice

Group: All Else Lounge

Created: 2011/12/31, Members: 42, Messages: 22740

This is the place you can discuss anything else that is on your mind that isn't already covered by other groups. Share what's on your mind and see who else has something to say about it!

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feelnfit Posts: 87 Joined: 2002/02/03	2002/02/15, 06:48 PM has any body experience any kind of prejudice whether at a gym or just out in the world of any kind. for me it use to be because i was over weight. i guess half of it was due to my low self esteem. dressing sloppy, never combing my hair , waliking with my head down. kept me from a lot of relationships and opertunities ) that if it was not for bodybuilding changing my life i might have ended up in the gutter. i found it one day and from then on it gave me back my self-esteem and open doors that would have been closed.i now have the confidence that i can do anything that i set my goal too. but knocking on the door was prejudice again. i recently married my true soul mate last oct. a woman who we men only can dream about. but the world still cannot acept us together. you see me being white and my soul mate being african american is not to well like down here in the south. at least by my side of the family. my wfes family has taken me and my children in as their family and has showed me the love that a true family should have. my family have turn their backs. i have not talk to my dad or step mom since last may and i only call my mom once a week even though we all live with-in ten miles of each other. i am strong and have learn to accept this is the way it is going to be until they cannot accept me again. i am not sorry for myself but for them and all the rrest hwom are missing out on such a wonderful person. for i only see the beauty within not the color of ones skin. one day i came home and my bride was crying i ask what is wrong she said she was crying ....for me......... she is beautifull and supportive of my life and bodybuilding she now has my heart and soul i just wish my family could see............... thanks david

Philia2 Posts: 4,078 Joined: 2001/10/19	2002/02/16, 02:41 AM David, life is not always easy, and people can be more than stupid....... Unfortunately we cannot change the way that people think (if they don't want to change themselves) We can just try to show them the opposite. I have never understood myself why family members can be so hard against other family members.... I mean in the family one should find love, help, accept and respect -and that's for every single thing one might do. Unfortunately it's often not the case. It's a little hard what I'm now going to say, but I honestly mean it; You don't choose your family but you choose your friends, SO count on your friends.... don't let them go but care and grow the friendship. Luck to you. PS You seem like having a wonderful wife.
ltroisi Posts: 764 Joined: 2001/11/06	2002/02/16, 08:00 AM That is a hard situation. We see it in all forms. Not just a race issue either. I guess you just have to let the bad feeling towards them go, bitterness is very distructive. Try not to let there decision get you down. They are hurting themselves more (but may never realize it) Nina's advice was so good. My step daughter is living with a guy who dropped out of high school cannot get a job etc etc ...and it is tough for us to treat him as if we think their relationship is a good thing BUT we give it our best and try to be supportive. We even offered to help him get his GED (he didn't do it). Also you get back what you give. So treat them well go out of your way and maybe some day the situation will change.
Alorle Posts: 196 Joined: 2001/10/07	2002/02/16, 12:11 PM Are you and your wife planning on having kids? I tell you what, nothing brings parents around like grandkids. I ahem to leslie dropped out of college because I was pregnant, and the father was a high school dropout as well. Once our son came along though, all was forgiven. We did eventually get married, and we have another child, my dh did get his hs diploma eventually, and now he is the supervisor of the highest producing automotive part shift in the US (and maybe the world). My parents thing he's great now, and my dad treats him like a son, but at first, he was just a no good long haired punk who knocked up his daughter. :) But in any case, I really think the grandkids are the kicker. I think, even it time, your parents will accept you and your wife. Just remember, your wife is the most important thing. Your wife is who will be there forever, by your side, no matter what, and though you may love your parents, it's she who must come first. On a side note, I come from a very small southern town (population maybe 1000 with 5 churches in town!). One of my best friends, growing up, is gay. His family disowned him and wouldn't speak to him for a long time, but even they came around, and he and his partner can come home again. It's still hard for them, but it's harder still to turn away from your children, no matter what. They love you, and they will come around, and, I suspect, even come to love your wife as well! Good luck!
feelnfit Posts: 87 Joined: 2002/02/03	2002/02/16, 02:13 PM thanks all for the support. we do not plan on having any kids together . i have 2- from my first marraige and my wife has 2 even thogh i still would like to have 1- more. i donot care any gruges for my family and i hope oneday they will come around. my mom at least does ask how my wife is doing . my mom has even went as far as to tell me that she would not tell any of her friends that iwas married and my dad has not told anybody. thats all ok because when i see any of them not only will i tell them but i will show off my wedding pics too. and just to add both our sets of kids love us all and get along as 1- big happy family.
ltroisi Posts: 764 Joined: 2001/11/06	2002/02/17, 05:01 PM Arole, no slight was intended against those who "drop out" from college or HS I was speaking of an individual who has the unwillingness to get a GED, diploma or maybe a job..... and prefers for someone else to take the burden of the responsiblities. I am glad it worked out for you. Kudo's to you. That shows character on you and your hubbys part. Its not what happens to you its how you react to it!
spanishgirl Posts: 157 Joined: 2001/06/06	2002/02/17, 09:55 PM Lots of great posts here....and I can only offer the same...You just live your life...and be happy. They will come around...when it is the "right time" for them. Acceptance may take awhile...but hopefully will happen soon. Good Luck... sg
Alorle Posts: 196 Joined: 2001/10/07	2002/02/18, 10:11 PM Leslie, don't worry, you just helped illustrate my point, and I was more poking at you than slighted :).
ltroisi Posts: 764 Joined: 2001/11/06	2002/02/19, 07:06 AM good, you have a good outlook on life. I bet you are a great friend and a great mom.
pattylh2002 Posts: 4 Joined: 2002/02/17	2002/02/20, 07:20 AM I wish you both the best! It's very unfortunate that we live in a very ignorant society. The same prejudice is suffered by so many classes. Remember they are the ones truly missing out. That is sad. (they don't know any better)
spanishgirl Posts: 157 Joined: 2001/06/06	2002/02/20, 01:32 PM Well said Patty...I agree... sg
feelnfit Posts: 87 Joined: 2002/02/03	2002/02/21, 02:59 PM thanks all for your comments and support only time will tell... david
Mathiau Posts: 72 Joined: 2002/07/20	2002/07/21, 07:54 PM very good post above! and Feelnfit, i am very happy for you that u turned your life around for the better! cause now it only gets better from here i have faced the "Racial" prejudice, but it really opened my eyes. i lived in toronto cananda, very diverse, then moved to Antigua, in the caribbean , which is mainly colored people (african / jamaican), for once, i was a minority, and was the one constantly being stared at cause of my color, but over time, they accepted me. It is a great exeprience, for now i can relate to people who are in this position and understand the discomfort u feel. and as for the people who do judge, based on other things, they should be shot! or learn to not be so ignornat! as my sig says: Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them God must love stupid people, he made so many of them -------------- (¯`·.¸¸.·´¯The trouble with life is there’s no background music¯`·.¸¸.·´¯) (¯`·.¸¸.·´¯Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them¯`·.¸¸.·´¯) (¯`·.¸¸.·´¯God must love stupid people, he made so many of them¯`·.¸¸.·´¯) (¯`·.¸¸.·´¯Life ain't short, your just dead for too frick'n dam long!`·.¸¸.·´¯) (¯`·.¸¸They know what is what, but they don't know what is what, they just strut,WTF!¸.·´¯)
Lumina20 Posts: 966 Joined: 2001/10/31	2002/07/21, 09:30 PM Tip to Mathiau: black people don't usually like being called colored, extra specially in the U.S.
Boddhisattvha Posts: 1,226 Joined: 2002/03/07	2002/07/22, 12:15 PM K but can I color on you Lumina? Like maybe with some whip cream? Hehehe j/k -------------- Practice does NOT make perfect. Perfect practice does.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2002/07/22, 12:21 PM LOL -------------- "When in danger, or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout" LIFT HARD AND OFTEN!!!!!!
Lumina20 Posts: 966 Joined: 2001/10/31	2002/07/22, 06:25 PM Well now, whip cream is something is something different! You're crazy!
jnellie Posts: 924 Joined: 2002/02/24	2002/07/22, 07:16 PM cain your a nut ...........lol.....
Mathiau Posts: 72 Joined: 2002/07/20	2002/07/22, 10:05 PM ============ Quoting from lumina20: Tip to Mathiau: black people don't usually like being called colored, extra specially in the U.S. ============= yes, i am aware of that,and sorry that i didn't specify more. but usually when i say "colored" i mean ALL colors of people not just blacks. it is just something i am used to saying..lol also lot of iran people, do i should have included that as well :) sometime i don't specify enough detail :( but shall be carefull in the future. Now, i heard someone say whip cream? :D any strawberries?
Boddhisattvha Posts: 1,226 Joined: 2002/03/07	2002/07/23, 02:47 PM Actually yes, it's all about the chocolate syrup, whip cream, and strawberries. If you're with someone freaky, throw in an Ice cube and I guarantee an evening you won't soon forget. -------------- Practice does NOT make perfect. Perfect practice does.
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2002/07/23, 02:50 PM How about some chopped peanuts mmmnnn!! good! -------------- "When in danger, or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout" LIFT HARD AND OFTEN!!!!!!
Boddhisattvha Posts: 1,226 Joined: 2002/03/07	2002/07/23, 02:52 PM Ummm..no. Too messy, and umm ever had sex on the beach? Same principal... -------------- Practice does NOT make perfect. Perfect practice does.
rev8ball Posts: 3,081 Joined: 2001/12/27	2002/07/23, 03:42 PM < watches yet another thread go down in flames... LOL! -------------- Michael "Trample the weak; hurdle the dead!"
7707mutt Posts: 7,686 Joined: 2002/06/18	2002/07/23, 04:12 PM Yup another one bites the dust!!!!!!!!!!!1 -------------- "When in danger, or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout" LIFT HARD AND OFTEN!!!!!!
Lumina20 Posts: 966 Joined: 2001/10/31	2002/07/23, 06:48 PM I think it has to do with the heat wave we just went through...
roni0906 Posts: 1,008 Joined: 2002/01/24	2002/07/24, 04:52 AM Ice is always fun. I don't like anything too messy..not fun cleaning up afterwards. -------------- Lisa
rev8ball Posts: 3,081 Joined: 2001/12/27	2002/07/24, 12:37 PM sigh well, i guess i'll my 2 cents in... one word - Menthol 'nuff said........ -------------- Michael "Trample the weak; hurdle the dead!"
Boddhisattvha Posts: 1,226 Joined: 2002/03/07	2002/07/24, 01:37 PM Don't be such a stick in the mud Rev! -------------- Practice does NOT make perfect. Perfect practice does.
Stormcrow Posts: 77 Joined: 2003/02/22	2003/04/30, 12:54 PM I know this is an old thread, but I'm responding anyway. My father is a real hater. I brought a girfriend home one time, who had a Slavic background, and his response was, "What's wrong, couldn't find any niggers in your school to date?" pretty much within her hearing. Because your parents are unenlightened and hateful of fellow human beings for nonreasons, this doesn't mean you should feel guilty about the distance. If they don't want to have any part of your happiness, screw them! I rarely talk with my negative father, who has become my anti-role model as a father of my own children. I can't stand the depressing vibes. Such people seem to live a long time, I think, because no one in the netherworld wants to have to deal with them. Too bad.
rickyshot Posts: 153 Joined: 2003/05/13	2003/05/30, 11:32 AM I live in a multiracial family and we have experienced our share of ignorance. But we do not have this Who I am cr@p you hear about in the movies or books. Most of us do just fine. Your place is with your wife now and your parents will have to accept it or leave y'all alone. BTW I come from Atlanta and it was OK there for us being in the South. My kids were never called nigger till we moved up here to Canada, belive that. BTW those name callers got some good old fashioned Georgia ass whuppings lol. My kids are good for themselves. But I digree. Life is too short to start limiting mates by skin color, ethnic background etc. It is really hard to find a soulmate to begin with. And one of the last bastions of discrimination is weight. I have heard a lot of overweight nightmares in my day and had to check myselft and my attitude to overweight people.
rickyshot Posts: 153 Joined: 2003/05/13	2003/05/30, 11:33 AM yeesh excuse the typos.
skinnyrobin Posts: 224 Joined: 2002/05/10	2003/05/31, 05:16 AM ============ Quoting from Mathiau: and as for the people who do judge, based on other things, they should be shot! or learn to not be so ignornat! as my sig says: Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them God must love stupid people, he made so many of them ============= Mathiau, i think the comment you made is messed up. No one diserves to be shot because of what they think or believe. I am totally against any kind of prejudice, and i was born in a mixed family and a 'mixed' society. I think people who have prejudice towards others are just primitive in that way, because of their lack of experience with such things. However, they are also people, who just have a different a attitude to such things. In the end, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and no one deserves to be shot because of them! We have made this fault many times in our history, and we should have learned from it by now. I also think your sig, "Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them," is very badly thought out. Killing some one else makes you no better.
Ogun Posts: 559 Joined: 2002/08/11	2003/06/01, 07:14 PM Friggin menthol? -------------- --There are no versions of the truth.-- Jeff Goldblum, Jurassic Park II