|
2003/03/06, 11:40 PM
i know i shouldn't really be going to total strangers but i am trying to get my best buds and others opinions on this. i'll be 16 (legal age to have sex in my country) this summer. my boyfriend and i are so comfortable with one another and talk about everything. sex is becoming a big issue. for my birthday, my boyfriend (of 2 years and friend for 6) is taking me to london. it'll be the first time we haven't had parents supervision through the night. and of course knowing his "male" mind he wants to have sex. after considering it for the past 3 months...i'm leaning for a yes. but everytime i want to agree, i start feeling really ill about it. i have worries..like i don't want my parents finding out (even though they probably expect it and i am llegal), i'm worried if the condom breaks (% chance of that happening??) but most of all...i hear so often that it hurts..and i'm NOT good with pain. how bad does it really hurt?!?! i need some comfort and answers..i'm starting to wonder if i just want to please him! i'm not being pushed into it or anything and i know he'll still love me either way. i still have 5 months...and i know i'll make the right choice by help from friends and others and my personal feelings. sorry if this is too long..i got carried away..lol! (laugh out loud)
----------------------------
sweetdancer82
"follow your dreams"
|
|
|
|
2003/03/07, 10:09 PM
Your posting isn’t too long at all.
If a condom is used correctly it has a 0.03% chance of breaking, but by using a water-based lubricant you can decrease the chance of this happening.
http://www.youthshakers.org/sexualhealth/contraceptives/condoms.htm
As for the pain; it really depends on the individual, and on how relaxed you are. The tenser you are the higher the chance of it hurting.
Do not give in to your boyfriends “male mind”, wait till you are 100% ready, if you have any doubt at all then you should not go through with it. 16 is still very young (even these days) you have your entire life in front of you, so what is another couple of years without sex? Just because your body is technically ready doesn’t mean that you are ready.
You might want to consider seeing your doctor about getting prescribed birth control pills, they are about 99% effective and would act as a great backup in case the condom breaks. One thing to keep in mind though is that the pill might be 99% effective, but it does NOT protect you from sexually transmitted diseases, which is another great reason for using a condom even if you are on the pill.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/bc/you_and_pill.htm
Hope this answers your questions :o)
--------------
Be patient, persistent and strong and you will succeed.
|
|
2003/03/07, 10:31 PM
Is he the one you are going to marry? Just my 2 cents!
--------------
Peace on earth
Ivan Montreal Canada
|
|
2003/03/08, 08:54 AM
thanx therainmaker! u are very helpful. and yes..one day i hope to marry him (i'm getting a promise ring for our 3 year anniversary..and it's not a cheap one at that!) but like u said..i'm only 16 and i don't wanna get married till i'm between the ages of 22-26). i have a lot of other goals in life and of course he comes first..but i feel marriage would only slow us down. i love him very much and means more to me then anything. he's perfect for me....he's sweet,kind,lovng,shy,sensitive,cute and is a very hard worker. and has never been nasty to me, even when i am a total B****..lol
i guess about sex...we'll just have to see what happens this summer.
--------------
sweetdancer82
"follow your dreams"
|
|
2003/03/08, 10:57 AM
I'm not talk in to you as a father, but I have 2 girls, 18, and 16. In Canada the 18 yr old is of legal age.
Al I will tell you is this. Age, whether 18, 15, 21, or 16, if you do get pregnant, make sure you can care for your child, young parents do not have the maens and depend on others. So remember, safe sex, and control!
--------------
Peace on earth
Ivan Montreal Canada
|
|
2003/03/08, 11:19 AM
lol, yes daddy carivan ;)
--------------
sweetdancer82
"follow your dreams"
|
|
2003/03/08, 12:40 PM
you are very smart very smart dancer, getting a promise ring now so that way he'll just around for you in 10 years, so this is exactly what you want to do since everyones advice does seem to be sticking, go have sex with him every night, and see how your life changes and how he changes as soon as you get pregnant. Or if thats too much for you just take some birth control condoms lubricants, etc. before you do k
|
|
2003/03/08, 01:50 PM
gowar..ummmm....were u being sarcastic or what!?
--------------
sweetdancer82
"follow your dreams"
|
|
2003/03/29, 02:27 AM
If he loves you the way you talk about the two of you, then sex isn't that important. Intimacy is always good, but not always necessary. Sex isn't the only way to please a guy. I'll leave it at that!
--------------
Pain is weakness leaving the body
|
|
2003/04/04, 10:15 AM
I was in the same postition that you are right now, only about five months ago. You need to discuss these things with him, like what would he do if for example the condom did break and you were to become pregnant. Almost no guy will say they wouldnt do that but its hard to believe some guys. but if you really love him and trust him you should be able to tell. discuss the possibility of diff. types of birth control to get on. Thats really all I can tell you, but make sure before you do it, that its what you really want.
|
|
2003/04/08, 12:16 PM
I'll tell you right now if he really loves you he'll wait because once you guys do it you'll keep doing it and thats when your risk of pregnancy will go up and it will always happen at the wrong time I'm 18/m and I thought the same thing when I was sixteen and I had sex and now I broke up with that girl because she was no longer interesting to me after that and we went out for a year. just remember you won't be able to stop
|
|
2003/04/11, 10:44 PM
didnt you allready post this question?
|
|
2003/04/14, 08:13 PM
Dancer,
I have to say my biggest regret was lossing my virginity at a young age. I know now that I wasn't ready then. I also didn't have the sercurity of a long standing relationship. 2 years is a long time to be together. Your decision should be based on what you want, what your comfortable with, and what your ready for. If the 2 of you have been intimate before and your comfortable with that comfort may not be a problem. If you haven't been very intimate before I'd suggest slowly exploring diffrent levels of intimacy first, before you even worry about having sex. There is so much more to intmacy then the act of intercourse itself. And much of those other levels can be more fufilling than intercourse. Take your time and don't do anything your not comfortable with or ready for. If you ahve any doubt... just don't. If he loves you s much as he says he'll definatly understand.
Moonaria
--------------
The word never isn't in my vocabulary. I don't know how to give up, and I always think big.
|
|
2003/04/17, 04:39 PM
k, people thanx and gowar...don't be silly...this is the same post i made a long time ago! :)
|
