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2003/03/13, 03:38 PM
Do any of you ladies have guy friends that you are not sexually attracted to? I know a lot of girls and all their gu friends, are people who they slept with or people they want to sleep with or are sexually attracted to. and the others are people who they are not really attracted to but are friends with them because they take them out, buy them things, and help them out. Is there such thing as a girl having a guy friend? or is the girl just his friend for her benefit? and just leading the guy on and being a cock tease?
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2003/03/13, 08:39 PM
yahooo:
First, as with anything else, you can't really make a blanket statement like "a girl is only friends with a guy for her benefit/leading the guy on, etc.." Things are never that black and white in the "real" world; especially when human beings are involved. It's almost unfair to look at this question by gender, actually. I mean, we could ask the same question about guys being friends with girls. I think your question tugs more at an individual level -- and i think that the answers you'll get will depend on individual people: How they view people, where they're coming from in life, where they're going, their standards, morals, etc...
Personally, I actually have quite a few really good friends who also happen to be guys. I am not sexually attracted to them, do not want to date them, sleep with them, etc. I don't want their money, and I don't want them to buy me gifts or take me out to fancy restaurants. In fact, my interaction with my friends who are guys is pretty much like my interaction with my friends who are girls. For example, if we go to coffee, sometimes he buys, sometimes i buy, and sometimes we buy our own. But, i do the same with all my friends who are girls too: Sometimes she will buy my coffee, sometimes i'll buy hers, and sometimes we buy our own.
I think that sometimes, guys and girls have different perspectives on life, and may deal with things/situations differently than each other (sometimes, not always=)). In this regard, my friendships that i do have with guys are really special to me because they often teach me to see things in a different light. Then again, it almost comes down to the whole individual thing again, because when i think about, all of my friendships (with guys and girls) are special, and usually teach me to see things in a different light (because individuals vary, and are different)...
But, anyways=)... sorry to ramble on, yahooo... i guess i just wouldn't want someone to miss out of being friends with someone of the opposite sex because of an opinion or assumption. I'm definitely not arguing that there AREN'T girls out there that would fall under the categories that you mentioned! I know some, but then again, don't you know guys who could easily fall under similar categories? I think it depends on the individual...
Nikole
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2003/03/13, 09:00 PM
I like having a girl as a friend, seems like you can be more open with them, can let them see a different side of you. When your with the guys, you got to be like a jerk and be one of the guys. When im with a girl Im more in a nice guy mood, like try to protect her and be there for her. I like that. They probably change as they get older and can be like a regular friend, but seems like the young ones are only friends with guys who they are attracted to. or take advantage of them. So come one ladies be honest, there anyone out there that are just friends with the opposite sex because your attracted to them or you like them to be there for you when you need them?
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2003/03/13, 09:29 PM
I have plenty of male friends. My job is mostly male oriented and I really have no choice but to have male friends. I also like to have male friends because they don't take things to personal. You can joke around with them and not get their feelings hurt. I am not sexually attracted to them, my husband does enough for me.
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Lisa
Just laugh about it....
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2003/03/14, 11:43 AM
I live with 5 guys, they're like my brothers! I actually now find it harder to relate to women than i do to men!
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*My body only feels good when it burns!
*Little voice telling you to quit? Put your fingers in your ears!
*"Life shrinks or grows in proportion to one's courage"
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2003/03/14, 11:48 AM
Let's just say 95% of my friends are guys and always have been. The name Lonegirl is derived from the fact that it has always been Pat and the Guys...since highschool.
They are my best friends. I have few female friends...I just click well with guys and can be myself
PAT
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2003/03/14, 02:17 PM
In my 32 years, I have only had a total of 2 women as what I considered friends. One, I met in 1st grade and we were best friends until we graduated high school and she moved to another state. We simply lost touch and grew apart. The other was one of my college roommates. She had a lot of my same interests and her personality was a lot like mine. We were sort of two peas in a pod.
All of my other friends have always been guys. With my interests being auto racing, video games, car shows, gun shows, movies with explosions & fight scenes, radio control cars, baseball, basketball, monster trucks, etc., I just get along with guys much better. I’m very much a girl when it comes to my romantic intimate relationships, but in friendships, I am more of a tomboy.
I personally find it much easier to be myself around guys. I feel no pressure to fit in or get along. I have found that, for me personally, guys are easier to talk to. Guys tend to take my joking as jokes, where most women tend to take what I say personally. And I have an easier time connecting with guys. I feel like the guys I know are better listeners, more fun, more honest, and less behind-the-back and complain less than the girls I know.
The women I have tried to have friendships with have either thought I was weird after they got to know me and stopped doing things with me or they have done something to hurt me and show me they weren't really a friend. Apart from the two females that I had as friends, all of the other women I have attempted to befriend have turned out to be either too prissy or judgmental or gossip-mongers or complained way too much. I do have a sister-in-law that I’d probably get along with really well, but we live too far apart and work different shifts, so we aren’t really that close.
Now a psychologist would probably say this is all because I don’t have a very good relationship with my mom, and I grew up being spoiled by daddy & grandpa. :)
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~Jennifer
http://www.gwindalyn.com
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