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2004/04/08, 03:11 PM
This may sound like a simple enough question, but I'm discovering just how complicated it can really be. The more people I come in contact with, the more I'm beginning see how negative most people really are. This has rubbed off on me now to the point that it's starting to bother me. I know that deep down, no, I'm not happy and I'm always ready to list a bunch of reasons why not. I don't want to be like that any more, I WANT to be honestly happy and at peace with myself.
This goes way beyond any sort of body image thing, this is part of my ever present sub-conscious telling me the glass is always half empty. A lot of people would say (me being one of them) that they're a realist and therefore being optimistic and positive just isn't in the cards. But I've come to realize how wrong that theory really is.
I've become very aware of just how many times I've thought some sort of negative thing about something or someone around me. I don't want to do this anymore, it's not healthy. So for here on out, I am going to make a concerted effort to turn all my negative thoughts and comments into something positive.
Example: This work schedule is killing me, I'm always so tired and have no set schedule.....has now become: This is a challenge for me and if I can get through this, I can become a better person. I will take care of my essential needs and allow myself to enjoy my time off when it comes around.
So I ask you all: Are you honestly happy? I don't mean being happy because of how other people in your life make you feel. I know we can all find tons of happiness in our S.O.'s and our kids (for those of you who have them). But I mean a real, honest, positive peaceful happiness with yourself and your life?
If you are, then please give me some examples, and if not, why?
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2004/04/08, 03:14 PM
you are corect it's all a matter of perspective. Like looking at a tree dead in winter and thinking it's not dead it's just experiencing another form of life.
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I am that
which must be feared, worshipped and adored. The world is mine
now and forever.No one holds command over me. No man. No god. I am a beast and that is enough.
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2004/04/08, 03:18 PM
Whew... heavy topic... overall, I'm happy... but, I think it takes a long time to find the inner peace people talk about... some are just plain lucky to have it off the bat, others have to search for it and learn how to find it...
One thing I learned a few years ago, switch the paradigms... like Mike said, it's perspective... all you have to do is start saying 'the glass is half full' and things will become more positive... but, you have to work at it...
t
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Tim
"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self."
Aristotle
TimDay@freetrainers.com
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2004/04/08, 03:25 PM
This is a subject that probably requires counseling for me. I am not happy with the person that I am. Here is an example of how my mind works. If I meet a person for the first time and they are happy and smiling I automatically think that it is an act and that they are hiding something. I trust few people. The funny thing is I am not a pessimist, I always look at the bright side of things. When it comes to my interaction with people I am horrible and I am not happy with that. So no I am not at a total happiness with myself, not yet. I have many years to better myself though.
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My gym dues are not paid with money.
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2004/04/08, 03:45 PM
Nope!
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2004/04/08, 03:59 PM
I only have consistant inner peace when I'm standing behind my chair working. There are no doubts there, I am in complete control of any changes that will take place.
The other aspects of my life I cannot control and I have to work much harder at keeping peace with myself.
So, I guess my total inner peace will only come after I learn to be more flexible.
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2004/04/08, 04:53 PM
Whoops!!!I was suppose to answer why...If I could answer exactly why, then I probably would find ways to resolve the unhappiness. Don't get me wrong; I am a happy person, and as optomistic as I can be. I am personally not happy with myself! I have never been satisfied with anything that I have ever done. I am my worst enemy!
I'm sorry, but I cannot truly answer why...
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2004/04/08, 07:14 PM
We are all products of our environments. Look at how we were raised. Look at how we were socialized. How were you tought to deal with adversity when you were younger? There are so many factors to why we feel and behave the way we do. SOmetimes it takes some deep soul searching to find the aswers within ourselves. Or, its just a matter of reconciling the past and concentrating on the here and now so as to move on. Either way, the mere fact that you are all in touch with how you truly feel, shows that you are taking great strides to understanding yourselves and healing your pain. BUT, don't try to answer ALL the questions you have about yourself. You may not be able to answer all of them, thus creating a cycle of dispair. Some things we'll never find out about ourselves, those are the things we must move on from. Example: I suffered from anxiety attacks for years and didn't know why. I always tried to find the answer to WHY these would happen. After failing to do so, I began to deal with anxiety directly, not the cause. It became easier to deal with it, and I was eventually able to eradicate the symptoms with meds, THEN I was able to explore those attacks because now it was SAFER and less aggrivating if I couldn't find an answer. Be good to yourselves. You are all worth it.:love:
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2004/04/09, 09:30 AM
Happy... Positive thinking is a habit tat must be built and practiced just like anything else.
I think it is normal to have days where you question everything (why are we here, what is the meaning, am I fulfilling my ptotential, does it matter?) and then , for no reason, you wake up the next day and the sunrise is more beautiful than words can describe and a bird is singing and your child comes in and snuggles with you and you realize the purpose may be elusive, but the questions aren't what matters, the day to day interactions create a whole that is life with purpose.
Did that make any sense? i am just saying that you can really only control your own microcosm, but your microcosm effects every microcosm around you, which effectes the microcosms around them and so on. Do good, be truthful, act justly, be love, be strength. Like ripples in a pool, it spreads and makes the world a better place, eventually those ripples hit th edge of the pool and come back to you.
The other day I did something simple for my daughter and she says "I'm glad you are my mom." There it is. Happiness.
The gods don't make trash.
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If you fall down seven times, get up eight.
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2004/04/09, 09:43 AM
Yup, it all made sense! Funny you should say that about your daughter... I try and tell my kids this every day, "thanks for being my son/daughter (depending which one I'm talking to)." I even say it to my wife... my daughter just says 'whatever...' (she's ten) and my son says "you're welcome." haha... kids...
t
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Quoting from asimmer:
The other day I did something simple for my daughter and she says "I'm glad you are my mom." There it is. Happiness.
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Tim
"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self."
Aristotle
TimDay@freetrainers.com
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2004/04/09, 10:27 AM
The biggest change in my overall demeanor came when I learned to deal with stress. Stress in any area effects all other areas of life, causes more anxiety and unrest type feelings, and then this leads to more irratability toward others, which in turn leads toward unhappiness with yourself. <whew>...pretty heavy, but true. Learn to deal with stress, and keep this in mind. As simple as it sounds, it really is words to live by. "don't sweat the small stuff!"
Also, at the risk of sounding like a preacher here, which I am in no way, finding and getting in tune with your spiritual side can really help. This too has helped me find inner peace, and yes happiness.
I also have a wonderful wife who shares my values and convictions, and we get along great. :big_smile::big_smile:
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If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything....
bb1fit@freetrainers.com
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2004/04/09, 07:25 PM
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Quoting from cafenervosa:
So I ask you all: Are you honestly happy? I don't mean being happy because of how other people in your life make you feel. I know we can all find tons of happiness in our S.O.'s and our kids (for those of you who have them). But I mean a real, honest, positive peaceful happiness with yourself and your life?
If you are, then please give me some examples, and if not, why?
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ermm to me inner happiness is the same happiness you get from anything else. So if someone/something makes you feel happy, then ultimately your gonna be happy with yourself for having that someone/something in your life. Of course its all in ratio to how many good/bad things in life to switch the scales in measuring happiness, but when everything seems to be great and the bad things arent too big then thats happiness with yourself.
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Willing is not enough, we must do.---Bruce Lee
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2004/04/10, 05:34 AM
I know this might not go down too well but I find I'm at my least happiest when I'm focusing too much on what I look like. I usually get out of it by setting myself a fitness goal (last time it was a century bike ride) to shift the focus.
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2004/04/10, 08:49 PM
Treat every day as a bonus - tommorow may never come. look at ppl worse off than u . we all have the same end destination so its ur choice. make being happy not an available option . u cant move forwards n bckwards at the same time so forget about the past , future , live the present . cya:big_smile:
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talent hits a target others cant hit . genius hits a target others cant see
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2004/04/13, 02:34 PM
I'm happy. I have negative acquaintances. Currently learning to nip there negativity right in the bud instead of absorbing it all...which is what I use to do.
It is all a matter of perspective. Still, as good as my life is I catch myself complaining about things...but, instead of getting myself frustrated for complaining I allow myself to do so...I'm just mindful of it and find humor in it.
I really like this quote:
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Quoting from asimmer:
...you can really only control your own microcosm, but your microcosm effects every microcosm around you, which effectes the microcosms around them and so on. Do good, be truthful, act justly, be love, be strength. Like ripples in a pool, it spreads and makes the world a better place, eventually those ripples hit th edge of the pool and come back to you.
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2004/04/13, 04:47 PM
Ya I think I am realitively a happy person. Just switched jobs that seems to have rounded out how I actually want to live the rest of my life.
Have done a lot of self discover over the years, and really do belief in the alternative ways of living, both physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
It takes work, however when you reach it, it feels good. Jdelts said part of it is because of our environments. indeed when we make the change we need to make a complete change, that includes either limiting the contact with those that are close to us, or no association with the negative environments. Like minded attracks like minded. So as you begin to change you will meet others that think posiitve and are generally happy people. We also have to live in reality and not have the head in the clouds syndrome. We may have days that we do not feel so happy, and that is okay, as long as we do not affect others with how we are feeling.
So good luck on your path for a more positive and happy environment.
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2004/04/13, 04:49 PM
For the most part I am happy, only thing I wish to change is my finanical problems...
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LIFT HEAVY! BECOME STRONG, LIKE BULL!
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2004/04/13, 05:13 PM
I can't say I have anything to complain about, I am healthy, I am just about to finish up with my degree and I have a fun job.
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2004/04/15, 01:20 PM
I am an eternal optimist, and find joy in the very simplest of things. I can sit in the grass in my backyard for hours, completely at peace and enjoying the birds, the wind, the tiny flower in the grass. I look past people's personality flaws, trust each until proven (to me personally) untrustworthy, give second chances to all, even when I shouldn't, and smile at EVERYONE. And that is what makes me happy.
I also get very sad because I don't always live up to that vision of myself described above, but it passes:big_smile:
My husband is one of most negative, untrusting, pessimistic people I know. I do love him for it, not in spite of it - we balance. But it drives me crazy because he just doesn't understand the happiness I get from something beautiful (a view, an object, a person, a poem, a gesture). I wish he could experience that; he says he does when he watches me and that's enough for him.
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2004/04/18, 01:46 PM
Interesting answers.
I'm generally not happy, but one of my greatest strengths is funnelling discontent into fuel for progress. Every little thing that is keeping me outside of nirvana and utopia is a little bit more motivation in the gym, at work, in life.
Good survey.
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--There are no versions of the truth.--
Jeff Goldblum, Jurassic Park II
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2004/04/19, 02:18 PM
My self, I'm my happiest when I'm completely alone in nature, doing nothing but dealing with my own thoughts and feeling the feelings of the things surrounding me. I see the cup both as half full and half empty because that is the way it is. I'm gratefull to be alive, but question what the meaning is and look for it when I can find the peace that I need. I give people chance even though my first impression may be bad, and do give second chances to. Perferrably I'd rather have one person really close to me, and that person would be the one I'd want to spend the rest of my life with and share alot of things about me with. I'm both passive and aggressive, and have been known to premptive strike when I know danger or adversity is coming for sure. I face my fears praying and hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I have good days and bad, and the bad day's are the day's I take it a bit easier and stand back and look at what is bothering me. Sometimes bad day's can turn into weeks or months, and that is when I start meditating and praying my hardest for strength to do the right thing and to get past it. So in perspective, I have to say I try to go with the flow with a positive outlook and prepare myself for the negetive, and I hope this makes sense.:dumbbell:
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A determined mind is the best weapon in any situation, a strong body is the road to victory. G.R.C.
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