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2004/12/11, 11:10 AM
i know my brother has some form of depression, he lives in a his own world that he has built with lie after lie, he pretends to go to work everyday, and i knwo for a fact he doesnt- he just walks around the block and then off in the opposite direction, some days he barely talks to me or anyone, hes let himelf go (no offence bro), and if you try and talk to him about anything, or if he thinks that you are starting to find out about one of his lies he lashes out, and really loses it. i want to talk to him as obviously i love him as he is my brother, even though he makes it hard to sometimes, but he has this hold over me, where if i say anything he just sinks lower, and im really worried sometimes that he is gonna do something stupid. if my other brother had been so selfish and thoughtless, i would just have it out with him, a fight of words, of fists, or anything, but if i do this with him i think im gonna push him over the edge. from looking at the history of the websites he has been on, i know he has been looking at sites and trying to understand what has happened to him, and why, but, again, i cant say anything because he will know ive been 'snooping' round, even if its for his own good he will go mad at me. i just really need to know what to do, its getting on top of, and now he is stressing me out, and im not eating, or sleeping properly, because of my worry for him. help.
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*NOT A TART*
A.D.F.
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2004/12/11, 11:14 AM
I know from my own experience that he needs to make his own mind to get help. However keep an eye out and if you really feel that he is going to hurt himself do not worry about it and call the police and have him taken in. Please do this even tho I know he might hate you for it at first it is better for him to do that than die. Other than that just be there for him and let him know you are around to talk if he likes.....
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LIFT HEAVY! BECOME STRONG, LIKE BULL!
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2004/12/11, 11:22 AM
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Let him know you care about him, listen, listen, listen and spare the advice. I've been the chemical and talk therapy route and both have been helpful. My experience with the police is they care about the law, not about an individual's welfare. Sounds like your brother needs professional help, but only he can make that decision.
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2004/12/11, 11:23 AM
thanks man, i think he hates me anyway, so there wouldnt be much of a loss there. are you sure the police is the right thing to do? isnt it an ambulance/medical thing?
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IM BACK, and GOING BALD
A.D.F.
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2004/12/11, 11:59 AM
At least he is trying to figure out what is wrong with him. Just try to be there for him without being intrusive. Let him know you care about him and are worried. I am sorry you are feeling so helpless.
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2004/12/11, 12:17 PM
Pritchard, I've missed you. Welcome back. My take is similar to the others here in that listening and being there is a good approach. There is more to it from my experience. As a recovering alcohloic, intervention is a large reason why I'm still here to harrass you. Ask yourself what you would wish you had done if you brother ends up in jail or worse. The intervention of loved ones and close friends is the reason I'm still around. If meddling in somebodies life ultimately helps to save it I'll jump in with both feet and just not give a damn if they hate me. They'll get over it. If they don't then I did my best and they can continue to walk the earth hating me.
Is help from your parents an option? Are there other friends and loved ones who will help? You know the others in troubled peoples lives are usually in need of help too. Maybe you can talk to a qualified person seeking help for yourself to deal with it and they can help you figure out how to deal with your brother. Like you said, it feels as though he hates you already so what do you have to lose? It's a medical thing for sure. Do what you gotta do and good luck.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
Charlie
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2004/12/11, 03:10 PM
i missed you too uncle c, i just havent been bothered to do much after ive been to college, work, worked out, and played guitar, and ive introduced cardio on wednesdays into my routine by assisting a PE cross country lesson (2 miles!).
parent help is an option, but my mum feels the same as me, we have talked about it and we didnt know what to do, and hes not very close to dad, so thats not really an option.
i guess i dont want to talk to a qualified person because it will bring it all into realisation, and i wont be able to 'ignore' it all.
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IM BACK, and GOING BALD
A.D.F.
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2004/12/11, 04:50 PM
Pritchard I am so sorry that your family is suffering. Depression can be a very debilitating illness, it's terrible for the victim and the family.
If you are worried about your brother hurting himself or someone else, here are some questions to ask. Don't be afraid to ask the questions, this is how lives are saved. Remember to be calm while asking the questions.
1. Are you thinking of about hurting yourself or anyone else?
If they answer yes, ask the person
2. Do you have a plan?
If they answer yes, try to determine how lethal the plan is. If they plan on taking two aspirin, it's not lethal. If the plan is lethal, try to determine how available the method is, like a gun or a knife, just ask if they have whatever is part of the plan and determine where it is ie on the coffee table, in the bedroom, whatever.
The next question to ask is, do you think you are going to do it? If they answer yes, call the police immediately and tell them that the person is going to suicide. Do not hesitate and do use the word suicide.
If the person says that they don't know if they are going to do it, ask them if they will go to the doctor or if they will let you take them to the doctor. If they won't go, and they won't let you take them to the doctor, call the police and tell them the person is going to suicide.
These are word for word the guidelines given to me by my psychology professor. I know that you are frightened of the answers, but you must pretend that you are not afraid and ask the questions anyway.
I am only a psychology student but these are the questions we are taught to ask and anyone can do it. I hope that this helps you.
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Anni
*******
Does my ass make these pants look big?
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2004/12/12, 08:27 AM
I have sent you an IM about this.
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2004/12/12, 11:22 AM
thanks
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IM BACK, and IM BALDING
A.D.F.
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2004/12/12, 04:51 PM
Hey pritchard...Sorry i've kinda missed this topic for a while. I didn't know quite how to respond to it at first... Everything everyone else has said is exactly right. Although it is a very touchy subject to anyone involved...charlie and anni are right that intervention and asking questions is the right path to take. (in my opinion) I know from personal experience it takes a want and desire to help yourself like mutt said, but sometimes it takes a little prompting/prodding to get you focused in the right direction. Good luck with it all bro, it will be rough. You'll be in my prayers,
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