• FreeTrainers.com Forums
• All Else Lounge
• For all PET LOVERS!

Group: All Else Lounge

For all PET LOVERS!

MannyMaster Posts: 515 Joined: 2006/02/01	2006/06/06, 02:47 PM I just wanted to share this with everybody since it makes me laugh everytime I read it:big_smile: Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular and stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. I have been using the bathroom for years – canine attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog’s butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you my dear pet, I have posted the following message on our front door: Rules for NON-PET OWNERS who visit and like to complain about our pets: 1. They live here. You don’t. 2. If you don’t want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”nature.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and does not speak clearly. REMEMBER: Dogs/Cats are better than kids because they eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children. :laugh::laugh::laugh: -------------- "One Ring to rule them all; One Ring to find them; One Ring to bring them all, and in the Darkness bind them." -LOTR Trilogy
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2006/06/06, 04:35 PM very nice! -------------- Scales are for dead weight: We are not dead yet! Still trying to find out how to do the Hollywood Free Press. Ivan Montreal Canada
flyonthewall Posts: 1,823 Joined: 2005/01/18	2006/06/06, 04:42 PM Agreed, but based on my cats attitude, I think she's been hanging out with her drug using friends and I'm pretty sure she's been smoking and drinking....:big_smile:
KC_72 Posts: 3,249 Joined: 2006/05/19	2006/06/06, 05:14 PM :)That was cute manny...loved the "you can sell their children"! -------------- There are no rewards in life for having brains,only for using them!
Mojo_67 Posts: 1,299 Joined: 2003/09/23	2006/06/06, 05:26 PM That was cute manny.:) -------------- Days go by and life drags on.....
mysticgraces Posts: 422 Joined: 2006/02/21	2006/06/07, 07:08 AM Fly lol...cat been getting into a bit of catnip again?