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How to Get a Man More Creative in Bed

ohnickie Posts: 8 Joined: 2003/03/02	2003/03/02, 01:26 AM K, I'm going to try hard not to get embarassed, but I do need advice here. How to spice up the sex life. I feel like I'm doing all the work -- and let me clarify that . . all the CREATIVE work. He knows "how to work it," but I'm bored. I try to do longer, more elaborate exciting sexual stuff like being more aggressive in what I want, using tie downs, blind folds, talking total dirty, using hot/cold, etc. But he seems just AOK with me on top or straight up missionary. Every single day. I love sex but am loosing interest on settling for "hey do ya wanna hump" as foreplay. I'm embarassed about and don't know how to talk to him about it. I'm loosing steam (interest) in trying to let him know I need more creativity / excitement.
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2003/03/02, 07:05 AM LMAO. Nope, I'm not touching this one. lol
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2003/03/02, 11:15 AM Well, maybe you need some one with more experience, thats all I'm going to say. -------------- Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt! Ivan Montreal Canada
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2003/03/02, 11:16 AM Oh ya....I forgot to suggest...you can read him a story. -------------- Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt! Ivan Montreal Canada
jnellie Posts: 924 Joined: 2002/02/24	2003/03/02, 11:22 AM watch a sexy movie or get some porn maybe
Kalanchoe Posts: 400 Joined: 2003/02/18	2003/03/03, 08:11 AM You gotta tell him. I went through somat similar an it was cos he was so scared of offending me by sugesting new stuff that he left it up to me. Soon as i told him what i wnated, he was more than happy to comply! Good luck and enjoy! K ;) -------------- *My body only feels good when it burns! *Little voice telling you to quit? Put your fingers in your ears! *"Life shrinks or grows in proportion to one's courage"
INTRUDER Posts: 642 Joined: 2002/06/27	2003/03/03, 11:13 AM Sounds like you have done what you can, he has the ability and is just using you, this must be a misstake on his part-tell him to get with it and learn how to please a lady. Mens fitness mag. always has some good articles on the subject. -------------- "Get everthing you want--just make a little change now"
dougherty36 Posts: 89 Joined: 2003/02/22	2003/03/03, 11:55 AM watching good porn always helps
ohnickie Posts: 8 Joined: 2003/03/02	2003/03/03, 01:35 PM K still trying to stay serious about this. . can't help feeling silly. hehe talking so serious about something so funny just isn't cutting it for me. . . We have done porn, he subscribes to Men's Fitness, and we have a very healthy, open relationship. I joked to him about it (cause I like to sometimes be silly w sex), and then later talked kinda serious about it but he just got embarassed and nothing changed. HOW TO DO IT?? Hey I just read that story thing but I'll make it about a girl who needs more variety and a guy who understood and became a sex god how about that. Thanks all.
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2003/03/03, 02:40 PM Buy a book and get into it together! -------------- Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt! Ivan Montreal Canada
INTRUDER Posts: 642 Joined: 2002/06/27	2003/03/03, 05:10 PM Too bad-Guess some guys just dont get it until its too late. -------------- "Get everthing you want--just make a little change now"
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/03/03, 06:47 PM it can be very frustrating for both parties involved when you are not on the same wavelength when it comes to sex and can sometimes become a pretty serious issue. i would seriously sit him down and let him know how you are feeling and don't do it jokingly either, cause that is how he will take it. Tell him that you are losing interest in him because of this and that is not what you want, you want to have a healthy, lively sexual life with him. It might hurt for him to hear it, but it needs to be said. Another thing is ask him if there is anything he would like for you to do differently. Or ask him if he has ever had any desires (minus the extra woman...lol) and then wait a week and create it for him. Share with each other specific things you would like to do with each other and pick a different one each week. -------------- Bettia.... When you feel like giving up, take it to the limit one more time!! You will SUCEED :-)
ohnickie Posts: 8 Joined: 2003/03/02	2003/03/03, 08:41 PM GREAT IDEAS RB. Thanks so much for taking this seriously and for taking the time to put some thought into your recommendations. NS
workingoutgirl Posts: 289 Joined: 2001/11/15	2003/03/04, 06:20 PM Alrighty now....here goes...can't believe I'm telling this but hey...ya'll wouldn't recognize me on the street if you seen me... :o) anyway...as a suggestion, something I and my boyfriend did and it was fun...still is....anyway I came up with the idea of a "suggestive :o) jar! What each of us did is write down things to do like...say a hot shower tog. then nice body rub downs...and then..:o) - or braving it up and having fun one late night out on the patio.......each of us came up with ideas....and then every now and then we pull out one and do as it says....we even went as far as going up to the clubhouse here.....and having a good time up there in the sauna! He'll get the idea as he sees what you come up with. It's fun....and the thing is...you can't read either until one idea is pulled out...SO okay...one day when he wasn't there...I cheated....I looked them all over :o) :o) I'm so bad!
workingoutgirl Posts: 289 Joined: 2001/11/15	2003/03/04, 06:22 PM AND...DP King is a weiner! I seen his comment.
roni0906 Posts: 1,008 Joined: 2002/01/24	2003/03/04, 07:42 PM I could use help on this one myself. Working over 100 hours per week, it is the last thing on my mind. I feel bad for my husband but I just can't seem to find the energy after training recruits all day, yelling and being on my feet for 15 hours a day. If you have any suggestions for me, please feel free. -------------- Lisa Just laugh about it....
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/03/04, 09:38 PM ohnickie, a big you're welcome! I know how it can be, if anyone says they have never had problems in their sexual relationship at one time or another, they are not only deceiving their partners, they are deceiving themselves. People always say that sex really doesn't matter or it's not one of the important issues in a relationship, but in all truth, it is. Why do you think we live in a society so full of infedility and divorces? Okay, I will stop with the preaching..LOL. Juse be honest with each other and yourselves and you will have a wonderful great relationship! I guarantee! Good luck and elt us know how it works out. -------------- Bettia.... When you feel like giving up, take it to the limit one more time!! You will SUCEED :-)
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2003/03/05, 07:01 AM Now I'm a weiner? sheesh. Well, when ohnickie was talking bondage, tie wraps, that sorta thing, that's out of my league. I'm fairly traditional and like to try new things to spice things up however, I'm not into toys, devices, and other things like that. My g/f and I seem to have things under control. hehe But, I do believe a couple has to experiment in ways to make sex enjoyable. That's just a fact. There's my 2 cents. DP
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2003/03/05, 07:06 AM Oh yeah, my g/f and I have discussed role playing. That sounds like fun. You know, she's the nurse, I'm the patient, she's the french maid, I'm the lonely husband, she's batwoman, I'm batman, she's the hooker, I'm the innocent... never mind, etc., etc,. lmao DP
dancenyshopper Posts: 36 Joined: 2003/02/25	2003/03/05, 07:46 AM dbking: you crack me up!! hehehe.
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/03/05, 11:44 AM DP!!! You go into way too much detail!!! LOL! Bad mental pictures!!!! LMAO!! well at least workingoutgirl can't say you're a weiner now right...lol! -------------- Bettia.... When you feel like giving up, take it to the limit one more time!! You will SUCEED :-)
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2003/03/05, 01:15 PM That's right, I ain't no weiner. lol Thanks RB, that's the nicest thing you've said to me in a while. hehe
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/03/05, 06:55 PM LOL!!!! well enjoy it! it might not last that long...lol -------------- Bettia.... When you feel like giving up, take it to the limit one more time!! You will SUCEED :-)
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2003/03/05, 07:05 PM This is too funny....better than going to the gym! lol
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2003/03/06, 06:41 AM So I can't expect any more compliments? lol.. Typical w...., ahh, never mind.
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/03/06, 11:25 AM DP, Usted mira mejor lo que sale de esa boca!! -------------- Bettia.... When you feel like giving up, take it to the limit one more time!! You will SUCEED :-)
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2003/03/06, 12:19 PM If I didn't know better, I think she just swore at me! Something about a major A$$ or something? lol
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/03/06, 05:03 PM You are goofier than i thought, i guess you are going to have to ask someone who is fluent in spanish now huh? -------------- Bettia.... When you feel like giving up, take it to the limit one more time!! You will SUCEED :-)
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2003/03/06, 05:14 PM I had one to but the wheels fell off!! . -------------- Peace on earth Ivan Montreal Canada
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/03/06, 07:20 PM carivan, you're favorite saying..... EH? -------------- Bettia.... When you feel like giving up, take it to the limit one more time!! You will SUCEED :-)
Carivan Posts: 8,542 Joined: 2002/01/20	2003/03/06, 09:06 PM yup EH?
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2003/03/07, 06:51 AM Translator please....
Ravenbeauty Posts: 3,755 Joined: 2002/09/24	2003/03/07, 11:56 AM need to go to freetranslatin.com guy No laziness acceptable..lol -------------- Bettia.... When you feel like giving up, take it to the limit one more time!! You will SUCEED :-)
dpking44 Posts: 470 Joined: 2002/08/07	2003/03/07, 12:14 PM Crap...
chris789 Posts: 99 Joined: 2002/09/06	2003/03/07, 01:58 PM Wow, I only WISH my g/f wanted to try to spice stuff up like that. She's just the opposite, after she got what she needs out of it, she's ready for it to be over with.
firewater Posts: 1 Joined: 2002/12/05	2003/03/29, 09:44 PM change the place and time but mainly the place that should help him.by place i mean where you are physically not that old dateing game joke .
gwindalyn Posts: 434 Joined: 2003/01/15	2003/03/30, 07:49 PM ohnickie, It's been my experience that if we make a joke out of something, most men don't get the hint. Men, in general, are not very good at picking up on hints. Usually, we need to directly and bluntly say exactly in detail what we want. Don't allow yourself to be limited by his inhibitions. I'd sit him down face to face with no TV, no radio, no other distractions, and have a serious conversation to explain how you are feeling. To prevent him from feeling like you are accusing him, don't use phrases like "You need to do this" or "You don't do this the way I like". Instead, use phrases like, "I need you to" and "I feel like I need". New places is a good idea. How about trying the kitchen table, washer, coffee table, hood of the car, shower, workbench in the garage? Initiate things yourself at very unexpected times. Don't just wait until you go to bed in the evening. Grab him as soon as he walks in the door. When he is trying to cook. While you are driving somewhere. I personally love the role play thing. But not all men are into that. And even more men don't have the same concept of what it is as women do. Unless you are really in tune with each other, this one could go wrong. Some other ideas are chocolate body frosting, do everyday things like housework in the nude, wrap your naked self in red transparent celephane and greet him at the door when he comes home, call him at work and have phone sex, ask him to shave your pubic region, ask if you can shave his, if you have a long coat to wear with dresses arrange to pick him up from work for dinner and show up in only the coat and heels and let him discover what you have on under the coat, yank him into the shower clothes and all and start ripping them off, get those dice where one has an action and the other has a body part and have a night of play. One of my favorites is getting a post-it note pad and writing little "coupons" for sexual favors on several of them and sticking them everywhere...in the freezer, bathroom mirror, computer screen, refrigerator, on the tv, his shoes, steering wheel of his car. You can do this one with love notes too. :) ------------------------------------------------- chris789, why aren't YOU spicing things up? Don't wait for her to do it! You can do these things too! ------------------------------------------------- DP, you really crack me up! batman huh? LOL! -------------- ~Jennifer http://www.gwindalyn.com
gwindalyn Posts: 434 Joined: 2003/01/15	2003/03/30, 07:52 PM Why do I suddenly feel like Dr. Ruth? LOL! -------------- ~Jennifer http://www.gwindalyn.com