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2002/10/18, 05:10 PM
Ladies,
Growing up for me was relatively difficult because I had a father who was very abusive to my mother. In turn, she raised me with the utmost respect for women, except that so many of them don't even appreciate it. Then when I try and do nice things for them, they may laugh and act like a bunch of frat boys and think it's silly. The worst situation is when something may go a certain way sexually, and I want to feel human...that I am not going to have perfect sex every time. But I feel all this pressure, even if she may not say anything. And after it happens, everywhere we go I feel controlled because there are so many other guys out there that haven't been exposed the way that I have. I feel like a woman can control a man in that way sexually, to the point that he is insecure with his own masculinity because he can't please her the exact way she wants. I know this is a long message, but it is very important to me. The biggest example is when a girl states something about your size or duration, compared to her past or how she likes it and it feels like I'm not cutting it. Like I'm working FOR her instead of with her. Please shed some light mature ladies!
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2002/10/19, 03:18 AM
Oh my..... You are young and you got plenty of time to find this Miss perfect that you'll be able to share all your thoughts and dreams with.
Just try to be as natural as possible and you'll see, she'll come your way.
Love isn't logical and no need for control or common sense. I know it's hard but try to FEEL your way.
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- Nina :o) Les Victoires éternelles sont celles du coeur.
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2002/10/19, 11:54 AM
Dude, have any fitness related topics for this forum? lol
I hope you find your answers.
DP
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2002/10/19, 05:42 PM
dp,
My fitness as well my esteem for it come from having a mental state that is right for me. And in order to do that, i need some help. Now does that make it better?
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2002/10/19, 11:12 PM
First off - your partners shouldn't be discussing their past relationships or sexual relationships with you. That's tacky and uncalled for. You may feel like you're not doing well because most women are not verbal enough in bed. Many are too shy to tell you what they want you to do to please them and vice versa. Communication is the key..don't be afraid to talk to her or ask her what she wants....once you find out what makes her feel good and you're able to do it - then it'll be a perfect union. We all know what we like and dislike - we all know what makes us feel good and what makes us uncomfortable -- but you're not a mind reader, you can't know unless she tells you. I'm telling you communication is the key to great sex. Don't be shy - be yourself and make it all about her - when you satisfy her -- you'll be satisfied, too. BTY - you're the only one who can make yourself feel insecure with his own masculinity.
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Christina
***Really, What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about??***
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2002/10/20, 08:14 AM
Sorry rchagani31, no offense. I was joking and I apologize. Good luck.
DP
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2002/10/20, 03:29 PM
Christina,
I guess I even get a bit uncomfortable when a woman tells me what she wants and likes because I automatically take it personally. I know what I am doing and have had experience, but one comment can shed all that confidence away because it doesn't matter how good i may be. If I'm not good with her, I feel a lot of insecurity.
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2002/10/21, 12:50 AM
If that's the case - then I'm not sure what to say. I mean, part of being "close" is being open and honest about what you want. Don't take it personally, like she's telling you because you're not doing something right - she wouldn't want it done if she didn't tell you to do it...you know? I think a lot of this is your self confidence... Why do you put yourself down so much? I'm sure you're a nice guy - obviously not too shy to discuss stuff like this on a message board - so what do you think makes you feel so insecure (because that's what it is)....there's no need to be like that. Be confident in yourself - I personally think that confidence is the sexiest thing about a person. Take pride in yourself, take pride in what you do and (with out sounding too nasty) - take pride in who you're doing.
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