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2004/07/05, 10:47 PM
I have been working my butt off in hopes of possibly being able to finally gather up the courage to talk to the attractive woman that jogs past my apartment every morning or the pretty clerk at the grocery store. I do not think that I am an unattractive man, infact, I am probably above average. I am also funny, caring, and am in the process of getting my PhD. I was just wondering are looks THAT important? Especially if you have other things going for you....
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2004/07/05, 10:55 PM
Hell no, not with a PH.d. Money money money! Rofl, jk jk, If you all ready look above average (and even if you didn't) who the hell cares? Put more work into stuff you enjoy more that'll help you in other areas! The fact that you're a hard worker is attractive enough.
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2004/07/05, 11:38 PM
Personally kleczn I would say no. If you connect with a person on a purely mental level then it's more rewarding. If you have a gorgeous body and beautiful face but no brains you aren't going to get far.
I wonder if there are many women out there afraid to ask *you* out because of their looks? Do you think looks are important in a woman??
Donna
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2004/07/06, 12:45 AM
I gotta say that there is a difference between checking out a guy on the street and enjoying his company! Meaning there are many good looking guys out there that I wouldn't spend five minutes with. It is about attitude and connection for me, it's nice to have someone nice to look at, but that feeling comes on so many levels and isn't always about the outside as much as the inside. My husband is the ultimate and yet what I see in him, someone else may not. It is about being able to have an intellectual conversation and yet wanting to kiss him in the middle of it. Be yourself - be happy with yourself and work for what you want and for what it means to you, not what it may mean to someone else, because when you are happy with who you are someone special will see it, someone that connects with who you are and what you are about...it doesn't work to try to improve ourselves for someone else anyway. I will say being healthy and working out may add to your confidence, that is often a bonus to all that hard work!
Welcome to FT!
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2004/07/06, 09:18 AM
ya know, I've met guys who are gorgeous, nice body, handsome face, low rumbling voice, and either absolutely zip on the brains department or their egos are separate entities that it just automatically lands them in the loser category.
I think veda explained it very well. Having good looks only take only a secondary seat to having a brilliant mind. The most erogenous part in our bodies will still remain to be the brain, everything else will fade with time.
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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
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2004/07/06, 10:04 AM
OK, be honest, how many of you will give a guy a chance if he is not attractive? Would you even talk to him if he passed you by on the street? C'mon now....Physical attraction is what usually gets things going.:big_smile:
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2004/07/06, 10:27 AM
Was never the case for me! I'm totally brain stimulated, looks have never mattered in my choice of men. Back in the day when I went out with my girlfriends I would never turn any man down for a dance because you just never know which one might just be the "one" ; ) Ask most women, a man can become totally attractive or unattractive after opening their mouth!
None of my girlfriends have ever accused me of going out with a hot looking guy lol except one, and he ended up being a JERK!
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Quoting from fsdsk:
OK, be honest, how many of you will give a guy a chance if he is not attractive? Would you even talk to him if he passed you by on the street? C'mon now....Physical attraction is what usually gets things going.:big_smile:
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Damselfly
Whoever said that sunshine brings happiness never danced in the rain. \\"unknown\\"
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2004/07/06, 11:10 AM
I love every person that flows by me, It's true Unless of course it's in the ring and I hate you with a passion and will try to beat you to a pulp...:big_smile: Im not a hateful person and have dated many different girls in all shapes and sizes. I dont like the whole skinny anorexic look *yuck* I like chicks with muscles or a bit of meat on them....
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2004/07/06, 01:13 PM
Exactly! What GG said!
I have been thinking for a couple of years about getting into Massage Therapy. However, whenever I give a skinny girl a massage, it just feels like I'm massaging their bones. That gross!
I like the ones with a little meat on them. Looks like they eat, can sustain a walk for 5 minutes without dieing, and could participate in some physical activities with me. Now, the ones that look like they could kick my @$$ just scare me, but I love the volleyball player look. Got those legs and glute muscles, while still having some boobs, arms, shoulders, and back. But most importantly, they have to be able to hold an intelligent, multisyllabic conversation about more than shopping and how "fat" they are.
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I will never grow up, just old.
Jonathan
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2004/07/06, 05:58 PM
Like I said, fsdsk, personally, now - if single - I would take a look at an attractive, physically fit guy walking down the street and I would talk to him, of course, but like I said, that certainly doesn't mean I would be interested if goober came out of his mouth rather than intelligence. I am totally turned off by macho guys that have ego's the size of Mount Rushmore just because they think they are good looking - it is the whole package for me and the connection I make with that person....but, yes, you are right, I would give him a chance if he was good looking - but I would give an average joe a chance, too, if he had it all together! Sparks come in so many ways and I've seen the Clark Kent's of this world turn into Superman right before my eyes!
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Quoting from fsdsk:
OK, be honest, how many of you will give a guy a chance if he is not attractive? Would you even talk to him if he passed you by on the street? C'mon now....Physical attraction is what usually gets things going.:big_smile:
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2004/07/06, 07:40 PM
Good looks come from your own interpretation. Damselfly was right, a man can go from gorgeous to just plain ugly once he opens his mouth. Im sure the same can be said for women. It works in reverse too, and Im glad, my OH certainly wasn't someone I thought I'd be spending the rest of my life with. Wouldn't give him up for the world now, the love of my life.
Donna
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2004/07/07, 12:02 AM
ya know what turns me on in a guy? If he had the guts to approach me and not sound like he's dealing me some cheesy line. I like em shy actually :) I kinda think it's sweet. And yeah, looks would spark an initial interest, but it's the brain that keeps me from turning away. Well, that and a backrub to die for baby. :laugh:
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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
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2004/07/07, 12:45 AM
LOL I could give you the brains and the "back rub to die for", and without the cheesy pickup lines. However, I'm pretty sure my wife would smack me on the head for it. LOL :laugh:
You don't fall for the canned poetry, do you Cupcake?
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I will never grow up, just old.
Jonathan
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2004/07/07, 03:28 PM
I think the most important quality in a man is his character. I have dated men that were very good looking, but were about as deep as a kiddie pool - and that's just not attractive. But the men I am most attracted to are the ones who want to know me just because they find me interesting and who don't make it obvious that they are just trying to get some action. A man who is confident, without being egotistical, has a sense of humor and isn't afraid to laugh at himself, and is non-judgmental and open minded is attractive!
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2004/07/07, 03:29 PM
I think the most important quality in a man is his character. I have dated men that were very good looking, but were about as deep as a kiddie pool - and that's just not attractive. But the men I am most attracted to are the ones who want to know me just because they find me interesting and who don't make it obvious that they are just trying to get some action. A man who is confident, without being egotistical, has a sense of humor and isn't afraid to laugh at himself, and is non-judgmental and open minded is attractive!
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2004/07/07, 03:36 PM
Thank God my wife didn't go for looks!!!Well, maybe she did though, because EVERYDAY for the last 15 years, she has always looked at me and laughed.:(:big_smile:
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2004/07/07, 03:55 PM
LOL johnathan, yeah I don't fall for the canned poetry :) I didn't go for looks too when I picked my boyfriend. I went with them back-rubbin hands *puuuuurrr* and his protectiveness :love: his patience is admirable though. I can be quite crazy at times. :big_smile:
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Quoting from jonathanweaver:
LOL I could give you the brains and the "back rub to die for", and without the cheesy pickup lines. However, I'm pretty sure my wife would smack me on the head for it. LOL :laugh:
You don't fall for the canned poetry, do you Cupcake?
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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
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2004/07/07, 08:32 PM
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Fryer, Im sure she isn't laughing at you!
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Quoting from fryer91:
Thank God my wife didn't go for looks!!!Well, maybe she did though, because EVERYDAY for the last 15 years, she has always looked at me and laughed.:(:big_smile:
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2004/07/07, 10:57 PM
Healthy is attractive, but that feeling of finding someone that is like your other half doesn't seem to be quite as concerned...
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2004/07/08, 10:51 AM
DeeTee; thanks for boosting my ego, but I really think she is laughing AT me. I just wish she would wait until I get some clothes on.:big_smile:
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2004/07/08, 10:54 AM
I am laughing at you too Mikey.
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Foolish consistancies are the hobgoblins of small minds.
Charlie
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2004/07/08, 10:55 AM
great..:(
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2004/07/08, 11:02 AM
I am shallow and go strictly for looks. I knew that I was bound to find a good looking girl who was also smart. I didn't want to waste my time with those bottom feeders. Unless ofcourse they had money, then I would share my precious moments with them. I feel no remorse for my actions.
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2004/07/08, 11:38 AM
Atta boy Hec. Why can't more men be shallow, like you? You know I adore you for it.
Looks, brains and money are simply must-have items. I felt remorse once, but then I went out with a good-looking, wealthy man and I got over it.
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Anni
*******
Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/07/08, 11:48 AM
I've got the good looking and brains husband, but where do I find that wealthy man? :laugh:
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Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.
James R. Cook
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2004/07/08, 02:31 PM
Is that supposed to be three different men? One that is Good-looking, one that's smart, and one that is wealthy?
Does it work the same way for women? I need one that hot, one that cooks and cleans, and one that is a great mom? Oh yeah! That IS the way it works. However, you call them wife, maid, and nanny respectively. :laugh:
I'm joking! Don't everybody jump on me all at once! :big_smile:
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I will never grow up, just old.
Jonathan
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2004/07/08, 08:56 PM
Fryer, I laugh at my OH too, only because he waits 'til he's naked before wobbling his bits at me! Puffs up his chest and makes a Grrr noise. I think somewhere in the world that must be a courting gesture. LOL
Jonathan, I think that's a very novel idea. As long as the husband employs the maid and nanny! Im sure there are so many wifes and mothers of the world who would love to stop doing all the chores that those two people could do.
Donna
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I knew my parents\' loved me, my bath toys were a toaster and a radio ~ Rodney Dangerfield.
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2004/08/07, 10:59 PM
<~had to add my 2 cents... Honestly, if I've never talked to you...looks will be the first to catch my eye...but that could be a great smile too! If we've had a chance to talk, and you're a fun person to socialize with and hang out with....you begin to look attractive no matter what!
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2004/08/07, 11:43 PM
Thread was too long so I didn't read past this point. So I'll comment here. It is not always physical attraction that gets things started. From my experience in dating, most women are just happy if you show enough confidence in yourself to talk to them and ask them on a date. Treat them right and you got yourself a relationship. Unless of course that's not what you want.
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Quoting from fsdsk:
OK, be honest, how many of you will give a guy a chance if he is not attractive? Would you even talk to him if he passed you by on the street? C'mon now....Physical attraction is what usually gets things going.:big_smile:
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Seeking out motivation does not motivate you to seek out results.
- Paul
Post mark - PaulsMark - Post mark
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2004/08/07, 11:52 PM
You know I had to comment here. All those questions you asked in broken english then suddenly it's about dating and you make sense? By the way, I highly doubt they are dating those guys because of their looks, but most likely because of their confidence. Most guys with six packs and muscles everywhere are often confident and show it. As long as they have a brain, then they are set. Try being confident and sound intelligent, and you'll be surprised :surprised:.
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Quoting from godlike:
Well at college most girls go for your looks
they all want guys with sixpacks and muscle everywhere
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Seeking out motivation does not motivate you to seek out results.
- Paul
Post mark - PaulsMark - Post mark
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2004/08/09, 10:54 AM
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I've had another runner stalk me before on a run. He was interested in me & most would consider him handsome although not my cup of tea (dyed bleached hair - not my scene) but just the fact he was stalking me & wouldn't leave me alone was enough for me to be put off even if I had have thought him handsome. It's not just about what you look like but what you say or don't say, what you do or body language as well. I've only just got round to doing that running route again for fear of meeting him again.
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2004/08/09, 11:06 AM
Any ugly person is ugly. There is no such thing as the eye of the beholder, these people are blind.
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You can cover up the flaws on your body, but there is no hiding a flawed personality.
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2004/08/09, 11:51 AM
What I should have said is I'm no oil painting but this stalker must have been attracted to me even though I was going red in the face running. My husband thinks I'm pretty but many wouldn't & often think I'm not. We get attracted to different types of people. My husband is always teasing me because he knows many women who swoon over Robert De Niro - I think RD is ugly & can't stand him i.e. it's all personal preference. The people I've been most attracted to are those I've befriended or who've befriended me - being a likeable person being the No.1 attraction. With me it's usually friendships & then things develop. I must admit that there have been people in the past I hadn't realised fancied me at the time & I suppose I hadn't realised because I wasn't interested despite them being friends but they weren't my type of people & not a lot in common as far as I was concerned. I know my husband was shy & I think his advice would be in hindsight to go ahead & make friends with the opposite sex, try not to move too fast & you'll get there. Just be yourself. My fear was of loosing a friend when my husband wanted to date me but instead I gained in all aspects. You'll know when you've met the right person so just be patient & they'll turn up.
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2004/08/09, 01:09 PM
What?
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You can cover up the flaws on your body, but there is no hiding a flawed personality.
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2004/08/09, 11:08 PM
I'm not going to avoid some girl or not talk to her cuz she's fat, but I look at it this way: I would want my girlfriend (potential wife) to be one who takes good care of herself and if she's really really fat, chances are she doesn't try too hard. I have huge respect for people that take care of their bodies, and I respect a lot of you on this site for it.
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I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious.
--Vince Lombardi
"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." H. L. Hunt
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2004/08/11, 10:19 AM
kleczn16, you ask if looks are really that important, yet you're the one trying to pluck up the courage to talk to the 'attractive jogger' and the 'pretty clerk'. Hadn't you already answered your own question?
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2004/08/11, 02:34 PM
I must say i think people have their own types they like. Example i love guys with long hair and glasses! But it doesn't mean i'll stop dating someone who has short hair. I like the deep conversartions and i will agree i do like a man who take's care of themselves as it would be nice for someone to come jogging with me!:big_smile:
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2004/08/12, 06:53 AM
I think that looks are important but they are not the key that unlocks the heart, I mean, lets face it....you gotta have the attraction and desire. I also think that there is a balance between your appearance and your personality/lifestyle that must be there in order to make it a total "package".
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2004/08/17, 03:40 PM
Hey everyone... What is important to one person may not be to another as well... when I first met my husband I thought he was not that attractive and I thought to myself "I would never date him", but then I got to know him and it was like finding the other half of myself. We know truly in our hearts that we are soulmates and best friends, and now he is the sweetest, cutest, sexiest man to me... I grew to love his looks just because he is such an awesome person inside...
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2004/08/17, 05:15 AM
You described the two people you are interested in as attractive and pretty, so they seem to be to you!!!
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2004/08/18, 06:59 AM
I cannot live with somebody who doesn't care about his look. I take good care of my body, what I eat + the training; all this takes a lot of room in my life and I'll need to share this with the person I love.
Now he can be small or tall, black or white, skinny or muscular. Just as long as I like what I feel when I'm with him!..........
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- Nina :o) Les Victoires éternelles sont celles du coeur.
www.nme-pro.com
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2004/09/02, 08:34 AM
i gotta say im seventeen and at this point in my life pretty much all im looking for is sex not a soul mate. I know plenty of girls who i can just talk to. But pretty much when it comes to doing the nasty im just looking for a hotty.
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