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2004/03/13, 09:47 AM
My boyfriend and I have been an item for 4 years, lived together for 3 and a half. Two days ago, he woke me up before heading to work and said "we're getting marry next year." Being sleepy, I muttered "are you serious?," and he replied "yeah, I think we're ready now." Then he kiss me goodbye and left for work.
You have to know him; he is a very practical guy. His idea of a romantic gesture is buying me Tofu (I'm a Vegan).
Whatever happened to a romantic evening, candlelite dinner, getting down on one knee, and all those other elements of the marriage proposal, or are they just a myth?
If you don't mind, please share your marriage proposal stories. I would like to know the reality of marriage proposals.
Thanks.
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2004/03/13, 10:10 AM
I know a person that was so afraid of proposing that he got his girl friend drunk and slipped on the engagement ring as she layed passed out on the floor. The funny thing is that she noticed it as she was puking in the toilet in the middle of the night.
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2004/03/13, 10:26 AM
Those types of proposals do happen. However, many are kind of spurious. As you said, he is a practical kind of guy and you two have been together awhile. To him marriage may be simply an extension of your present situation. Do you suppose those elaborate marriage proposals are in situations where the answer is not 100% assured? When I proposed to my wife it was over dinner. Nothing special. But it wasn't a surprise as we had discussed it many times before. I think that in an age when the actual marrige is considered 'just the formalizing' of an existing relationship, those types of proposals are kind of the exception and not the rule. Unless, of course, the guy knows that's what you want. Drop him a hint that you want it done right but leave the timing to him. He might surprise you.
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2004/03/13, 10:29 AM
Oh BTW, CONGRATULATIONS!
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2004/03/13, 10:30 PM
fadsk, that's very funny.
agamble, I think you are right on. and thanks. :)
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2004/03/14, 12:28 AM
For my ex-wife, I proposed to her about seven seconds before New Years in 1999, so by the time it was 2000, she was halfway through, "Yes."
It's not everyday a millennium flops over :D :big_smile: And yes it did lead to 1000 years of hell, or what felt like it.
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--There are no versions of the truth.--
Jeff Goldblum, Jurassic Park II
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2004/03/14, 07:59 AM
Well I'm kind of practical as well, yet am known to be a little romantic and spur of the moment type of person. My wife and I lived together for about 2 years before we decided that maybe we should get married. We both came from other marriages that did not work. Are children got a long well.
Anyway. I had cooked dinner a tuna cassarole, my wife just got home from school (student) the boys were ready to sit down, and I plunked the engagment ring on top of the cassarole. My wife was just about ready to scoop out a serving to the kids, and then all of a sudden, stopped and well the rest is history surprised and crying and saying yes. Food for thought. :big_smile:
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2004/03/14, 08:10 AM
That's one way to make a tuna casserole more edible. LOL
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2004/03/14, 09:39 AM
I was with my now husband for about a year, when one day we were at the laundrymat, like we did every sunday. As we were sitting outside on the car so we could smoke a cig while the clothes were washing, he just looked at me and said, "so.... when are we getting married?" After I realized he was serious, I happily started the discussion of planning it. So now I tell everyone, My husband proposed to me on the hood of a Chrysler Cordoba outside of a laundry mat. The rest is history....two more kids and 10 wonderful years of marriage.:love:
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It is no fun to be normal!!!
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2004/03/14, 10:19 AM
starbell - I had to do a double take. At first glance I though you said puked instead of plunked - I was really impressed there for a second.
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2004/03/14, 10:53 AM
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
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Quoting from fsdsk:
starbell - I had to do a double take. At first glance I though you said puked instead of plunked - I was really impressed there for a second.
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2004/03/14, 06:34 PM
SUNNY333....I'm getting ready for that moment myself...proposing to my girlfriend that is. Nothing extravagant, but I gotta do the one knee thing. Its a sexist society and there are roles that men and women fill in order to "fit the mold". Its a shame that we worry about these conventional types of things. It doesn't have to be "one knee" every time, but you said it yourself, he's practical. If you look past the practical part and decide to go ahead and marry, then congratulations and all the happiness in the world to you both.:love:
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I can beat Mario Brothers without losing a life.
Jdelts@freetrainers.com
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2004/03/15, 08:23 AM
Let share mine with you and you can decide for yourself......Me and my husband had started dating and 2 months in our relationship he transferred to another state (we had dated off and on over a few years) so I was a little upset but had to understand so I had a 3 day weekend and he bought me a plane ticket to come see him....He picked me up at the airport with flowers and a huge hug and then when we got to his house I walked in and in the living room I see he has spelled out "I Miss you" in hershey kisses on the lving room floor with a card giving me directions to find my next suprise....The hershey kisses led up the stairs and at the top was "I Love you" spelled out with another card and an arrow pointing to the bathroom.....in the bathroom there were rose petals all in the tub a glass of wine and candles my directions were to fill up the bath tub and take a bath and relax and he would be in later........a while later he came in and took a bath with me and it was so nice.......we got out and he said can I make you something to eat and I said yes so he made me a pizza and I noticed that he kept pacing around and I finally said are you ok??? Then he dropped to one knee pulled out this ring and asked me to marry him......I said yes yes!!!! I had the man of my dreams and enugh chocolate to last me a life time.....it was a wonderful night a year later we were married.....There are romantic men out there they are just hidden....I think..........I hope this helped.
:big_smile:
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you can lead the horse to the water but you can't make them drink.....
~lynnoakdale
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2004/03/15, 09:50 AM
I think that by and large most men want to be romantic but, let's face it, we are clueless. Before you Romeos jump on me I said 'most men'.
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2004/03/15, 01:15 PM
No fancy propsal story here either. Hubby told me he wanted to marry me the first time we went out. After that he would mention it every once in a while and eventually I knew it was up to me to just say ok then let's start planning. We were married around 1:30am Jan 1, 2000.:love: Looks like we were saying 'I do' shortly after Ogun was saying 'Will you....?':laugh:
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~Victoria~
...Do not be discouraged; everyone who got where he is, started where he was.--anon
...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills
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2004/03/15, 05:59 PM
Yeah Vic, but the difference is that yours worked (dam, was it my timing? I knew it).
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2004/03/16, 12:03 PM
Nah Ogun, you just asked the wrong girl. Hang in there big guy, the right woman is out there. I waited 20 years between Mr Wrong and Mr Right, but it was sooooo worth it.
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~Victoria~
...Do not be discouraged; everyone who got where he is, started where he was.--anon
...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills
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2004/03/16, 04:03 PM
Asking her in romantic setting/fashion wasn't the hard part. Getting the ok from her dad was the hard part. He made me drink PBR :(
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2004/03/16, 05:03 PM
Actually to think about it fsdsk, I am surprised I didn't say puke with the number of times we had tuna cassrole. My wife was a student and I just started a new career, so the starving student syndrome was set in when I proposed.
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2004/03/16, 05:32 PM
No story here too, We have talked about it every now and than. Then one day we just went to the court house and got married. I really wish it went a different way, but it didn't...
Congrats!:)
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2004/03/17, 09:27 AM
you know between all the frogs I kissed in the past I knew I was bound to get a prince some time. Thanks for the compliment and I am very fortunate to have him in my life he is my sanity.:love:
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2004/03/17, 09:56 AM
I have known people who have wonderful stories to tell about their courtship, proposal, elaborate wedding, etc. who had horrible marriages. The opposite is also true. This being said I would say that what truly matters is if you can get along, love each other, trust each other, and can work together in building a home and life goals. If you can find someone like that it really doesn't matter how the question gets asked, just be thankful it gets asked.
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2004/03/17, 11:05 AM
Congratulations Sunny that is truly wonderful that it will be formalized in such a way..
Not just men, but Everyone, sees situations so differently - what seems perfectly natural and normal to one can be a foreign thought to another. It's tough sometimes to keep that in perspective (good thing we have these boards!! :big_smile:)
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: ] ~ Danielle
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.
~Benjamin Disraeli
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2004/03/17, 02:00 PM
sunny I am a romantic.
But when it came to proposing to my wife I was a wreck and all the romantic desires went straight out the window.
Your man sounds pretty damned cool.
I left the ring in our room and suggested she go in there as I was sure I had seen her wallet or some other lame reason. When she spotted the ring I was asked what it was and if there wasn't perhaps something I wanted to say to her. Well I sort of mumbled and tripped over my lip as I bashfully asked her to marry me. Man did I find it hard!
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2004/03/17, 02:15 PM
I guess I should tell my story. It will be long so if you are not interested stop reading now.
I swept my wife away on a weekend retreat. She had no idea where we were going. I only told her what to pack. We drove for two hours to the mountains of Virginia. On the way to our mountain cabin I stopped the car on the side of the mountain. My wife was terrified. She had always told me that she wanted to throw her former wedding rings off of a bridge. Being that she is afraid of bridges and cliffs etc...
I turned the car off, looked over at her and asked if she trusted me. She nodded in approval. I walked her to the side of the mountain and I gave her her old wedding rings. I wrapped my arms around her waste as she threw those rings off of the mountain with all of her might. That horrible chapter of her life was now closed. Just as I was comforting her, the car made a hissing sound. I thought it was a snake and ran for cover leaving my future wife to fend for herself.
We arrived at the mountain house (Which by the way was in "Love" Virginia) and unpacked. Dinner was planned for later that evening. I took her to a secluded resteraunt on the side of the mountain for a lovely dinner. I wore her favorite pants and the ring was in my pocket. I was a nervous wreck. She kept touching my pants and saying "I love those pants" I was freaking out telling her to stop touching me.
We ate a wonderful dinner and I was a persperating, gyrating mess. I just wanted the time to come to propose. Finally we finished dinner and I drove us to a cliff called "20 minute cliff" It was a nice romantic spot. Full view of the sky. It was perfect. We sat and looked at the sky. I told her I wanted to read her a poem I wrote. I read her the poem and then I dropped down to my knee after reading it. I looked at her and asked her to be mine forever.
She didnt say yes, she just grabbed me by the neck and hugged me. She then realized that she had not said yes so she asked me to propose again. I did and this time she said no because my penis was too small. This was a mean joke. I then asked her again and she said yes. We were married in October of 2003 and I have never been happier.
Sorry for the novel.
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My gym dues are not paid with money.
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2004/03/17, 04:26 PM
I can't believe you just left her there on the side of that cliff!
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2004/03/17, 04:42 PM
Romance? What's that? Let's see, my hubby proposed to my in room 420 of the Holiday Inn in San Angelo, TX. I had driven his Jeep down to him from Chicago, IL. so that he could putt around the 1 mile square base he was at for Air Force Tech School after Boot Camp. . . now after being such a sweet GF and doing this for him, he had managed to mess up my bus ticket home so that I was leaving from San Antonio instead of San Angelo, thus the night in the Holiday Inn to wait for a bus in the AM to take me to San Antonio :) So he drops me off at the hotel after a very nice weekend and as he's preparing to head back to his dorm for the night. . . he bares his soul of a little red headed secret. . . see my picture. . . asks for forgiveness and "Will you marry me" :) Of course I said yes and that is my romantic proposal :love:
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2004/03/17, 05:24 PM
Such tenderness behind that wit hec.
Wasn't Oct 4 by chance?? (my anniversary as well)
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2004/03/17, 09:22 PM
Sure was October 4th.
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My gym dues are not paid with money.
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2004/03/18, 10:40 AM
Great stories hec and starbell. Mine isn't romantic until you take in the whole picture.
I was a jaded veteran back from Viet Nam and Middle East tours. Military wasn't well thought of back then. My wife and I lived together. One day , she asked me to marry her. It took two tries. We walked out in the back yard one night to the garage apartment we rented to the drunken town magistrate. He married us and Elaine scrambled us some eggs and then went and cried herself to sleep.
Over 23 years we have nursed away each others demons and built a love that has grown just a bit each day. It's huge beyond belief now. Great things come a little at a time.
I would wish it on everyone.
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A problem ceases to be such when you can laugh about it.
Charlie
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2004/03/23, 01:45 PM
My husband tried to be romantic.....til I blew it, and proposed to myself :) On our first date he took me to the Nutcracker ballet. So when he proposed he put the ring in the mouth of a real Nutcracker (the wooden soldier guy). He wrapped it up and gave it to me for Christmas. He just kind of sat on the couch and acted wierd.....when I opened the mouth and saw the ring I just kind of blurted..."well, don't you have something to ask me?!?!" I think he said.."um, yeah.....will you marry me?" :love: I knew it was coming....I even picked out the ring (but he wouldn't let me have it til he oficially proposed) but it was nice anyway :love:
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2004/03/23, 03:40 PM
Hey all...I just had to share. My husband proposed by asking to play with my hair, and as he was playing with it he tied a ribbon with the ring attatched to it into my hair. When I went to run my fingers through my hair a few seconds later, I found the ring, and he then proceeded to whisper all the reason he loved me into my ear, and asked me to marry him. YEEEE!!!!! Married for 7 months and going strong!!
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2004/04/05, 07:01 PM
My wife and I had been dating for about a year and a half and had talked about getting married many times. So I knew the answer was yes, but I wanted to surprise her none the less. So it was when Hale Bopp was around, and after clinicals one night I stopped by the store, picked up some champagne, and glasses, and stopped by her room and asked if she wanted to go see the comet. We drove out to the lake and I opened the champagne and poured us each a glass. I downed mine and she was sipping hers. I then dropped to one knee and asked if she would marry me. She said she would, kind of blasay, and then I pulled the ring out of my jacket pocket and showed it to her. At that point she let out a squeal, and a year later we got married. There it is.
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Daniel
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2004/04/05, 07:02 PM
My wife and I had been dating for about a year and a half and had talked about getting married many times. So I knew the answer was yes, but I wanted to surprise her none the less. So it was when Hale Bopp was around, and after clinicals one night I stopped by the store, picked up some champagne, and glasses, and stopped by her room and asked if she wanted to go see the comet. We drove out to the lake and I opened the champagne and poured us each a glass. I downed mine and she was sipping hers. I then dropped to one knee and asked if she would marry me. She said she would, kind of blasay, and then I pulled the ring out of my jacket pocket and showed it to her. At that point she let out a squeal, and a year later we got married. There it is.
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Daniel
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2004/04/08, 10:28 AM
My husband and I dated for 2.5 years and we started talking about marriage. I had given up hope after awhile because everytime I had mentioned it he'd get defensive and change the topic. I was CERTAIN that he was going to propose on New Years Eve of 1999. Well, Jan 1 of 2000 came and went with no proposal. So, I decided to ask myself, "Am I happy? Am I having fun?" I guess that was my first experience with powerlessness. I WAS happy and having fun and I was powerless to whenever my husband would ask me to marry him. SO, on February 12th (he couldn't wait until Valentine's Day) of 2000, he popped the question on the front door stoop of my folks' house, where he said we shared our first kiss. Of course I said yes and we were married a little over a year later. I turns out that he had the ring before Christmas of 1999, but I kept asking him about marriage and he said he wanted me to just shut up about it for awhile. HAHA
Anyway, when you take your spouse you take all their good and bad qualities. So, maybe your practical fiance may not be the most romantic, but he obviously cares about your likes or dislikes or else he would not buy you tofu.
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Life moves pretty fast... if you do not stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. -Ferris Buller
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