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coconutgirl
Posts:
39
Joined: 2005/07/05 |
2005/07/07, 02:39 PM
Hi everyone~
I'm new to this site, but very impressed so far with all of the topics and feedback. Anyways, here's my dilema, Met my husband 01/01/05, got married 04/30/05, (not prego) but now that I have moved away and am living the "married life" that everyone said I would love, well, I'm not loving it. I never want to have sex, I hate where we live, and we both agree that we rushed into it... I don't want to be a quitter, but it is starting to affect me physically as well as mentally (depressed, bulemia getting worse) Any advice????:) |
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fsdsk
Posts:
959
Joined: 2003/11/30 |
2005/07/07, 04:14 PM
"Till death do us part" ring a bell? get counseling
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coconutgirl
Posts:
39
Joined: 2005/07/05 |
2005/07/07, 06:13 PM
He does, to a point. He agrees that we rushed into it. My problem is that I love him, not "in love". We both were caught up in the whole married thing, and it was a whirlwind, now that things have settled down a bit, I'm the one saying Oh, crap, what did I get myself into....
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2005/07/07, 07:47 PM
well 'not in love' part says it all....loving someone and being 'in love' with them are very different things.....
you did rush in...I suggest counseling first...also try to do things that got you together...to rekindle your passion for each other....if it fails....divorce is a very possible outcome... | |
nikkilind
Posts:
100
Joined: 2005/02/11 |
2005/07/07, 10:27 PM
Are you good friends? If so, you can work it out if you choose to.
But it sounds like something definitely needs to change. Counseling, perhaps. Sit down and figure out what it is specifically that makes you unhappy. And don't be silly by saying you don't know. You know. You just haven't given yourself the time or the "right" to feel or say it aloud. Talk it out with him. Don't be afraid to feel what you're feeling. It sounds to me like that may be part of it. -------------- The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. - Benjamin Disraeli |
nikkilind
Posts:
100
Joined: 2005/02/11 |
2005/07/07, 10:27 PM
Are you good friends? If so, you can work it out if you choose to.
But it sounds like something definitely needs to change. Counseling, perhaps. Sit down and figure out what it is specifically that makes you unhappy. And don't be silly by saying you don't know. You know. You just haven't given yourself the time or the "right" to feel or say it aloud. Talk it out with him. Don't be afraid to feel what you're feeling. It sounds to me like that may be part of it. -------------- The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. - Benjamin Disraeli |
nikkilind
Posts:
100
Joined: 2005/02/11 |
2005/07/07, 10:29 PM
Oops double post. And by the way, the bulimia probably plays a great deal into the depression. Cut that out ; ) so you can deal with the relationship issues clearly.
- Nik -------------- The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. - Benjamin Disraeli |
gangstershoes
Posts:
641
Joined: 2005/05/27 |
2005/07/08, 10:50 AM
married too soon??? YES
:) Alot of times when a couple moves in together the spark leaves because they no longer have the mystery/challenge to figure out about the other person. Just what Nik said though kick the bulimia to the curb girl no matter whether you stay married or not. good luck. |
sstump1
Posts:
1,227
Joined: 2005/03/20 |
2005/07/08, 11:06 AM
Yes you did rush into it...however that's not to say it can't work. You both need counseling, together and seperate. Most people don't just jump into marriage...and no offense, but you both might have issues that lead you to do so. The Bulemia hasn't and isn't going to help the situation...declining health can always be a strain on a relationship...get help ASAP.
My wife and I have been together for 10 years and dated for 3 or 4 years before that...we met in High school. Thing is we still have issues and almost divorced a year and a half ago...after we seperated for 6 months we worked it out and decided the best thing we could do was work it out for our kids. Which brings up another good point...if you're not on birth control please do so...worst thing that could happen is to become pregnant while in this situation. Guess what I'm trying to say is marriage isn't easy and you both need to determine if it's worth it to get counseling and work through it so you can lead a happy life TOGETHER. That can be tough to do with only 7 months worth of history. However FSDSK is right "Till death do us part", you need to do what you can to salvage the marriage. |
gangstershoes
Posts:
641
Joined: 2005/05/27 |
2005/07/08, 02:22 PM
Either stick to the marriage or we will nickname you JLo. :)
Seriously though, kids change everything. Sometimes they bring you closer, but other times they seems to force you a apart. |
coconutgirl
Posts:
39
Joined: 2005/07/05 |
2005/07/08, 03:28 PM
Thanks everyone for your input....we have been trying to talk this all out... he knows about the bulemia, and realizes that it in a way is allconsuming of me right now. Funny about the JLo, except I get 3 more tries before you can call me that....J/K, anyways, were working on it.
THanks everyone:love: |
mmaibohm
Posts:
1,621
Joined: 2003/09/30 |
2005/07/09, 05:43 AM
my wife and I were together for 8 years before we got married. WE only lived together for 6 months before we tied the knot.-------------- I am that which must be feared, worshipped and adored. The world is mine now and forever.No one holds command over me. No man. No god. I am ANIMAL! and that is enough. |
hecdarec
Posts:
2,457
Joined: 2003/12/16 |
2005/07/09, 10:11 AM
Is your husband in the military?-------------- I was 17 years old the first time my father told me he loved me. |
sivysivy
Posts:
391
Joined: 2005/02/11 |
2005/07/15, 02:00 AM
Marriage is hard and requires much work. If we could all put in as much time into our marriage as we do our jobs, or anything else, divorce rates would surely plummet.
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krystal_reeves
Posts:
33
Joined: 2005/05/18 |
2005/07/27, 02:35 PM
I got married way too young. I was sixteen when I got married. I was with him for almost 4 yrs. when we got married. It is very difficult at the beginning. My marriage started out very abusively. I grew up in an abusive household, therefore I thought it was okay to abuse my husband when I got aggrevated with him. I got really depressed and I put on 50 pounds. I started seeing a therapist and started to talk my issues out with my husband. Now, my marriage is a lot better. I am not hitting my husband anymore. I am happier and now I am trying to lose the weight. So keep at it. It can only get better. :love:
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INTRUDER
Posts:
642
Joined: 2002/06/27 |
2005/07/27, 07:25 PM
marriage; its so very overated, and mostly its just another marketing scam. If you aint happy-then get out. Why wait till things intensify? It is only gona get worse.
Good luck' -------------- "Get everthing you want--just make a little change now" "The thing you have to realize is that you have to work for it," |
nikkilind
Posts:
100
Joined: 2005/02/11 |
2005/07/28, 12:03 AM
marketing scam? ... that's a peculiar/curious statement!
as for me, it's a commitment - more for myself than anything else. teaching me to make decisions and stick with em till i know for certain it's not a good thing to do so anymore. life's about being happy and working towards what you want out of it. too short to be miserable. -------------- The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. - Benjamin Disraeli |
hardnfit
Posts:
48
Joined: 2005/02/01 |
2005/07/28, 03:14 PM
yep-its all about marketing and making money off young fools. Or perhaps gett-n the money out of the bride and grooms parents.:big_smile:-------------- mind and body, like man & wife, never always agree w/each other. |
gangstershoes
Posts:
641
Joined: 2005/05/27 |
2005/07/29, 01:28 PM
I was once married and then I became a hollywood star.
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