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Motivation help needed

Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/26, 04:15 PM Ok guys heres the help I need. Of course at the first of the year my wife and i said we were going to exercise more. well she has drug her feet and not joined a gym with me. I have finally convinced her to join one, so I am going to switch to the same gym. I need help in keeping her motivated. I don't want her to burn out and quit in a few months. I have thought about making a bet with her that provides a reward or something. Just give me any ideas of things that have worked for some of you guys. And girls feel free to put your advice in also. thanks wallst
	2004/01/26, 04:25 PM Wives do what wives do. I tried to interest mine in working out for years. No go. She reads a book called " The Wisdom of Menopause " by Dr. Susan Northop. Dr Northrop says this, Dr.Northrup says that. Now she lifts like a demon. I'll never figure it out. Just go ahead and shoot yourself. It will save you a lot of time -------------- Living well is the best revenge. Charlie
dhurt55 Posts: 93 Joined: 2004/01/02	2004/01/26, 04:59 PM Im NEVER getting married!!!! AHHhHhhhHHhhhhhhh!!!!!! :oP -------------- "Without Pains, there come no Gains" -Benjamin Franklin
Jdelts Posts: 1,218 Joined: 2003/10/19	2004/01/27, 12:13 AM Geez you're shallow Wallstagr!lol -------------- May the lift be with you.
hecdarec Posts: 2,457 Joined: 2003/12/16	2004/01/27, 07:36 AM Tell her that you are constantly getting hit on at the gym, I guarantee she will be there with you faithfully. -------------- Hec da Rec in full effect.
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 09:25 AM good one hecdarec. we talked a little about it last night, and of course she took it all wrong. she kept saying am i getting fat! I think I covered myself well, I told her I felt like i was fat and if i could see her while i was working out it would motivate me to go that extra bit.
k1972pat Posts: 154 Joined: 2003/06/10	2004/01/27, 09:31 AM That is a pretty good one.... I know if I say anything to my wife about getting in better shape or exercising she thinks I am calling her fat, then BOY... that is a totally different situation... Good luck, I wish you the best..
Julisa Posts: 87 Joined: 2004/01/27	2004/01/27, 09:50 AM Prepare dinner tonight and say, "Honey, look, about last night...I do not think you are getting fat, nor do I want to change you in any way...maybe I am out of line with this fitness thing." At that point, let her have the floor and listen to what she has to say. Encourage her to talk alot and REALLY listen...there might be something hidden there that is the cause of her hesitation in this area. Then ravish her right there on the table. (lol) Seriously, I may be out of line here, I don't know, but from the little information you posted it sounds a bit like she may have joined in on the fitness goal because she knows how important it is YOU.
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 09:55 AM well we are going to the gym for the first time together, tonight! I will let you guys know how it goes. I think I am going to work out real easy so she doesnt try to do too much and make herself sore.
fryer91 Posts: 441 Joined: 2003/09/29	2004/01/27, 10:03 AM Be honest; throw it out there on the table...Don't play games with health issues, and trying to better yourself. My wife would never hold back; she tells me like it is; I give her the same back...Blam!!! My wife HATES weight lifting, but is finding cardio stuff is her nich...Your wife may not like weight lifting what so ever, but at this point, getting there is the challenge. Unzip, and throw it out there on the table; so to speak.
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 10:09 AM Well Julisa, she really didn't seem mad when I told her that I wanted to workout with her for my benifit. I also think she is going to be like fryer's wife, she will probably want to go to aerobics classes, which is fine with me, and get this, I will even go with her if she wants me too. Well the best adivce of all is to just ravish her on the table. Even if the exercise thing doesn't work out I will still try that bit of advice.
fryer91 Posts: 441 Joined: 2003/09/29	2004/01/27, 10:09 AM I re-read the post; geez, I didn't comprehend it to well.. Anyway, making bets, I am not to sure about that at this time. Set goals, start exercising, start to look forward to it, and then maybe place bets. Learn from each other, do not try to dominate, unless she wants you to.
k1972pat Posts: 154 Joined: 2003/06/10	2004/01/27, 10:13 AM Did you realize you can burn up to 200 to 275 calories during sex. Never heard that one before, but my wife got it from some womans book she reads. Plus she watches that dang Berman & Berman show, which I am not complaining because she has tried some pretty interesting things in the bedroom... LOL...
hecdarec Posts: 2,457 Joined: 2003/12/16	2004/01/27, 10:15 AM So that means that my wife and I burn 275 calories a month ;) -------------- Hec da Rec in full effect.
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 10:15 AM oh no I honestly would never try to take over. Really and truly I am just wanting to do just like you said fryer, get her into the gym and looking forward to working out. If i need to change my workout I am willing to do that, I just know that my secetary and I made a bet late last year and boy was that some good motivation.
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 10:18 AM Pat, how long do you have to go to burn that many calories? are they saying a 30 min sexual encounter, or are they talking about like 1hr? either way that is a lot of work! LOL! What is Berman and Berman? I've never heard of it.
k1972pat Posts: 154 Joined: 2003/06/10	2004/01/27, 10:22 AM According to my wife artical, it depends on how hard you work.... LOL 200 plus calories to me must be pretty hard workout.. because I usually burn 250 calories on the treadmill running 7 to 8mph for 25 minutes... Berman & Berman is a womans talk show that comes on cables Discovery Health channel at nighttime.
k1972pat Posts: 154 Joined: 2003/06/10	2004/01/27, 10:26 AM This is there website: http://health.discovery.com/fansites/bermans/bermans.html They talk about Men and Womens Sexuality.
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 10:50 AM Thanks Pat. I sure was thinking it would be one heck of a workout to burn that many calories. I think I will check that website, when I get home. It probably would not be good to have that in my history at work.
fryer91 Posts: 441 Joined: 2003/09/29	2004/01/27, 11:02 AM Get her there, have fun together sweating...Set some goals together, and reward yourselves. Bets & challenges: Body fat loss/ weight loss/inches loss or gained, walk-run-bike-swim, going to the gym challenges. Payoffs are up to you two...
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 11:09 AM I like thoese ideas fryer. I really like the going to the gym challenges. Thanks for all your help guys. I will keep you posted on how it works out.
fryer91 Posts: 441 Joined: 2003/09/29	2004/01/27, 11:33 AM Good luck...
Jdelts Posts: 1,218 Joined: 2003/10/19	2004/01/27, 01:39 PM BINGO JULISA!!! My man needs to be careful with what he says and how he says it or else issues of his wife's self-esteem and self-concept can most definitely arise. Think about why you so desparately want her to get in shape and by the way you sound, it is desparate...look at why you want this and be HONEST with yourself. If you continue to put this pressure on her, it will cause problems. -------------- May the lift be with you.
	2004/01/27, 02:00 PM Yeah , that was kind of my point. Nobody does anything except for their own reasons. Once my wife read that strength training was a preventative for osteoperosis,eating and many female problems she decided for herself to take up the fitness mantle. Nothing I ever said caused her to do it. We have had 24 successful years ignoring the minor stuff and dealing with the big ones. Choose your battles. -------------- Living well is the best revenge. Charlie
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 03:07 PM Guys truly it is for health reasons. I know i sound desperate, but it is becuase i truly want her to be helathy. It is so difficult for me to be only one exercising. I can finish a work out and come home to a freshly prepared meal of fried foods and a home made desert. That doesnt seem too healthy to me, so when I offer to cook she doesn't like it. The meals are just one example. Another is we are thinking about starting to have children, and i know it is better for both the mother and the baby if they are both healthy durring the pregnancy. I do feel like this is one of the big battles to fight. I dont think there are too many more important things than to be healthy. Those are just my thoughts, and I am more looking for advice to help keep her motivated. I am by no means going to force her to do anything she doesnt want to do. She is motivated today, i just want to help keep the motivation up. So any advice to help keep a spouse motivated would be greatly appreciated.
	2004/01/27, 03:18 PM I feel your pain. If you can figure out how to motivate a spouse you should run for president. You will have my vote. Its like herding cats. -------------- Living well is the best revenge. Charlie
hecdarec Posts: 2,457 Joined: 2003/12/16	2004/01/27, 03:31 PM Im telling you, I told my wife that girls were hitting on me at the gym. She hasnt missed a day since, and her workouts are intense! -------------- Hec da Rec in full effect.
Wallstagr Posts: 20 Joined: 2002/12/09	2004/01/27, 03:35 PM Herding cats....lol good one.
megcutshair Posts: 1 Joined: 2006/05/27	2006/05/27, 09:35 PM i just found this site online its not the first one i've tried. I just can't motivate myself enough to work out the thought of it sounds good. I'm just hoping someone has some helpful suggestions about following through. My goal is just to get a little more healthy I'm tired of not feeling pretty or skinny enough and I need help.
flyonthewall Posts: 1,823 Joined: 2005/01/18	2006/05/29, 09:15 AM Try changing your focus from trying to loose weight to feel pretty and skinny to going to the gym to get strong. Try one of the free workouts from this site and get serious about wt training. Don't be afraid of getting to much muscle, it won't happen, but what will happen is you will lean out, get strong and look incredibly healthy. Working on getting stronger really empowers you and gets you to the gym to see what you can lift that day. Good Luck!