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2006/08/28, 11:09 PM
Hi everyone, I hope it's ok to post this here...I am going through an incredibly ugly and painful breakup. Can anyone offer any suggestions as to how to heal as fast as possible? I know it takes time, but anything I can do to speed it up or just lower the amount of pain and betrayal I feel, would help ALOT. Much TIA.
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2006/08/29, 09:26 AM
Hmmm...this really is a rough one,because sadly the only real answer is time.There is no healthy way to speed it up...if you try to bypass what you're feeling now...it will only rear it's ugly head later.You can do things to help pass the time...reading up on the aftermaths of a breakup,how other people have dealt with these issues can sometimes help.Most important...don't sit around in your pajamas going over the details of what happened in your mind,you will need some time for this...but don't let it consume you...get out...go do the things you didn't do,but wanted to while you were in the relationship.I don't know if you are a religous person...but prayer can help bring some peace..even if it's only for a short while...then do it again.The best of luck to you Katumums...this is a hard time...but you will survive...God only gives us trials he knows we can handle.
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2006/08/29, 11:15 AM
"There are as many nights as days, and the one is
just as long as the other in the year's course.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of
darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its
meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."
This is a quote from Bill....thought you might find it comforting.
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2006/08/29, 12:43 PM
sad as it is true kc...
I turned towards god for help when i lost my girl, thou it is a different situation, it still hurts no matter how you spin it, i thought my life was over, and turned to drugs and alcohol which led me to contemplate suicide, luckily i literally stumbled into a pastor from the salvation army corps here in worcester and the majors ( as the're called ) opened my eyes and gave me a bible and told me the proper way to read it and the correct way to pray for what i needed in my life. which was forgiveness and faith and explained that things happen in life for certain reasons, until you can do that the pain that you feel now will remain, i still miss my girl every single second of my life, and dream to be by her side, and one day i will be but for now, i say a prayer for her and i feel alot better, and as kc said, god will only give you what you can handle, for me, god must think im sampson or goliath or something cause he loads it on thick sometimes, but keep ya head up katumums, youll be ok.... :)
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I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience
in which I must stop and look fear in the face...
I say to myself, I\'ve lived through this
and can take the next thing that comes along...
We must do the things that we think we cannot do.
~Eleanor Roosevelt~
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2006/08/29, 08:17 PM
Thank you both for your advice, I really appreciate it.
KC, what you said is so true. The worst thing someone can do when trying to get over is breakup is to wallow in it. I think some wallowing is natural, but the time comes when you just have to throw yourself into getting over it. Through exercise, or a new hobby, or anything positive. Thanks again for your advice, you're also right that the best healer is time.
Bill, I'm sorry to hear about you losing your girl...I think what you did was really positive and healthy. I think certain people in our lives are brought into it for a reason, and that's how it seems with the army majors. I can relate to you, I think God must think I'm the female version of Goliath!! Haha. But seriously, thank you for your advice, and you keep your head up too. Someday you will be with your girl again.
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2006/08/31, 01:52 PM
I find the easiest way to get through a breakup is to spend time with those who really love you. Spending time with family and friends who are supportive is best. I find that keeping busy and spending lots of time with others helps you stay positive and move on.
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2006/09/03, 01:55 AM
Slorbets, thanks for your post. I was spending too much time wallowing, and when I spent time with my loving and supportive family, it improved my mood drastically.
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