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2002/11/21, 10:42 PM
Ok - I have always been conscience of my weight and never have been major overweight because I couldn't stand for that to happen. I have a very hard time accepting my daugher's size and can't figure out a good game plan. She is around 4'11 and probably weighs 129-130?? She is pretty chunky in her mid section and is bigger boned than I. She's 17 and of course to me, has a pretty face and decent personality which I'm glad of. BUT, I see all these pretty girls in great shape, her age, going to dances which she hasn't and I know its because the guys aren't interested in her because she is "frumpy". It is hard to shop with her for clothes and I don't mean to sound nasty but she looks terrible...it's hard to find stuff without trying on a million things...for stuff to look decent on her. OF course we wind up arguing and I say the wrong things and I know it is only de-motivating her. Of course "teenagers think they know everything"! I have tried different approaches and to get her to go with me to exercise here where I live....but she, for example, will walk a 3.2 pace on the treadmill and I tell her that doesn't quit get it...that she needs to pump up the speed and SWEAT to get any thing good out of it! You know..it's every mom's dream to go shopping with their daughter for a prom dress..and I haven't been able to have that opporunity. She wants to join the service and I've told her....she better get her butt in shape before hand...and she knows it! OH well...basically my sucky approaches have failed and I need a new one! SO help...wham me....yell at me..........whatever.............I just want her to get it together before next year..her senior year!
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2002/11/22, 02:10 AM
I would just leave her alone. If she wants it, she'll do it. It's out of your hands. Her wakeup call may not be until she does join the service. And as far as prom: there were always "big" girls with dates at every prom I went to, if she wants to go, she'll find a way.
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2002/11/22, 02:14 AM
I just want to add that I'm not attacking you at all, I know how you feel, I've gone thru it with many of my family members.
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2002/11/22, 12:17 PM
I am by no means a woman LOL! But in 7th grade I was 56 and weighed 168lbs. I know what it is like to be young and overweight. I also know what it is like to have parents after me to loose weight. I am not saying that you are wrong, just that it will do no good. All you are doing is making it worse. I would just let her know that you are there for her if she wants help. My wife was heavy as well and has no porblems being the life of the party. I ti attitude that she needs. So what if she is heavy, and as you put it looks terrible. That is the problem you do not like it. I can tell you for every guy that likes that "puke after she eats girl" there are many that love a woman with size. I am not trying to attack you, it is just that this society seems to think that if you are over weight you are depressed or that you desperatley want to loose the weight to look "normal". Shame on you, for think that, maybe she is happy and has the right attitude and you are the one with the problem. Ok ranting down sorry if it came off harsh, but I know from things said to me, about me when I was younger it can scar and hurt for a long time. Just BE there for her stop trying to shape her into what you think is the right image. Because from you pst that is what it sounds like. I would really try to get her to eat healthly if you can and let her know that you are concerned for her health first not that she fits into a prom dress or that she looks like all the other brittnay spear clones walking the malls.
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IF THE SWEAT AIN'T IN YOUR EYES, AND IT AIN'T STINGING, THEN YOU AIN'T LIFTIN!
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2002/11/22, 02:12 PM
Thanks for words of wisdom. You just want so much for your kids and the focus is on slim and trim and its ingrained in my head. And it is ME that is wanting her to be a certain way. I'm sure she does to...but maybe too...with all my pushing/comments etc...it is her way to rebel. Still so dang hard...and I guess it stems from weight ALWAYS ALWAYS bothering me. I could never be bulemic etc...but I sure think in that line. (Would be a fast way to loose weight though.....KIDDING!) I just need a big roll of tape to put over my mouth when the URGE hits me to talk about it.
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2002/11/22, 05:13 PM
Ditto to all of the comments above.
My 11 yr old son has a belly that...well its bigger than mine. I was stunned to see this.
You know its the sign of the times , with all the video-games, pc games etc.
I leave my training books and mags around the house and he looks at them. He wants to go to the gym with me but they don't take children under 14. I bought some pink and green wieghts which he uses here at home, and he comes out with me running on my track days. I have had to bite my toungue many times when I see the belly.
We can't ever tell them there getting fat or obese, but give gentle nudges, like buy the right foods, or good coaching when exersing etc.
And yes there are men and boys who like or are attracted to pudgy women!
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To change it, or to create it, simply train it!
Ivan
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2002/11/22, 06:05 PM
Ok here is the thing. Like I have said before, I have been fat most of my life. I know what kids go thru with it. Iknow the pain, the hate they can feel towards themselves and others. I often wished to take a knife and slice the fat off when I was younger. It was even worse in school because one of the things I developed were the "bitch tits". I looked like I had ( and still do) boobs. I spent many years hating myself. It was not until I lifted for the first time that I came to terms with it. 15 years or so of hating the way you look and feel is not something you want to go thru. I still know there is room for improvement, but now instead of being ashamed I know that hey, I can lift a car, or hey I have 18.5 inch arms that are hard! Noone can take that away. Now to the point of this I wrote earlier about this topic, what I am offering my experience to you if you need more help. I am giving this becasue I have wanted for a long time now to use my experience with this and my knowledge of lifitng to help those kids that want to be helped out. If you want to talk more or maybe you children need someone else to listen I am here. smiteyou@aol.com thanks a dn remeber to just support them
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IF THE SWEAT AIN'T IN YOUR EYES, AND IT AIN'T STINGING, THEN YOU AIN'T LIFTIN!
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