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2008/01/15, 01:40 PM
Hi. The other night I walked in on my 8.5 year old son doing chin ups on his loft bed. He said that he needs to "bulk up" and get strong. He does a lot of my workouts with me, but since my weight lifting is at the gym, he does that on his own. I have given him soup cans (large ones) to use for weights because I think 5 lbs is too much and have taught him basic lifting form and movements. Last night while we were waiting for my RX to fill for my knee (boo hoo) he and I looked through the fitness dept. of the store. There is a weight tree that has 3 sets of hand weights in 2#, 3# and 5# sets. He desperately wants to buy it out of his allowance. He also wants a bench so that he can benchpress. HUH!?
So, when I asked him where all of this is coming from, I said "Is it because mom works out so much" and he said "Um, no.". My bad! He told me that the boys at school (3rd grade) always squeeze each others muscles and he is by far the smallest. The girls also compare their bellys and butts at recess to see who is the skinniest. I was MORTIFIED!!! He is a little smaller than the other kids in his class. So, I gave him the story about the late bloomer, and how his dad is now 6'0 tall and pretty "muscley" and someday when he turns 13 or 14, one day he will just SHOOT up and get much bigger.
So he says "Yeah, like I'm going to wake up in the morning and be like a bodybuilder. Taller, maybe, but not stronger!" Well, I can't argue with that logic.
What do I do? Do I let him buy the weights? I suppose there is no harm in him lifting light weights. Although he did tell me "I don't need more cardio, I get enough of that". CARDIO! I think he's listening to me too much. ha ha.
Any guys have any stories that I can share with him? Or pictures that I can share? Something like "I was 8 years old and was the smallest kid in the class. Started lifting weights when I was 16 and look at me now!" Ok, so that's over the top, but I've got major self-esteem issues festering in this little boy and neither myself or my hubby can seem to make him feel better.
Thanks for anyone's help!
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2008/01/15, 01:49 PM
Amy I think it is ok for him to want to lift. As long as you set rules that he must follow. One being that you are there to watch him. He is growing now and if he lifts to heavy the growth plates can be damaged. I would get him into more total body movements as in deadlifts, rows, squats, chins etc. Stay away from islation movements for now..... That being said tell him this and feel free to show him my pics.
I was a fat kid. At 19 I was 5 ft 9 and 220lbs. I amnow 6 ft 1 and 240. I had 14in arms when i started and now have over 16(when I was at me biggest in weight 315 I had 18). I was a weakling and now amoung my friends I am the biggest and strongest. Even next to the guys I went to school with.
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FOR MY WIFE:
Her little ring was a little thing
but it was all that i could afford
now shes mine all mine
till the day i die
and i never wanted nothing more
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2008/01/15, 03:45 PM
I started lifting in late high school. It didn't help me get bigger until I was about 20 in the navy. I went from being 6' 155 lbs to being 6' 195 in about 2 years. Unfortunately for me it seemed to be genes. I wasn't destined to be a high school football star. I had the privilege of picking myself up off the field after EVERY play in my 10th grade football career. I was run over by several running backs who went on to have pro careers. Haskel Stanback ran over me like I wasn't there on 5 different plays.... I joined the band, rode the bus with the cheerleaders and majorettes and got my letter in track. Making out with the quarterback's girlfriend was a much more satisfactory solution for me than picking myself up off the football field.
I got big when my body let me. I'm a firm believer that kids should play and learn life's lessons with the guidance of their peers and good parents. I think 8 is too young to be worried about body building.
At 48, I set every personal record I ever had lifting.
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Aboard the MV The Shop
Charlie
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2008/01/15, 03:45 PM
Thanks mutt. :)
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2008/01/15, 03:47 PM
I agree with Charlie too
8 is young to be worried about this. Most important is to have FUN
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FOR MY WIFE:
Her little ring was a little thing
but it was all that i could afford
now shes mine all mine
till the day i die
and i never wanted nothing more
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2008/01/15, 03:48 PM
Thanks Charlie. I don't think I'll share the part about making out with quarterback's girlfriends, but still useful information.
I'm very torn on this issue. I dont think he should be worried about it either, but he desperately wants to! I told him last night that I wanted him to think about the weight tree thing over night and if he still thinks he wants to do it in the morning, we'll talk about it. It's the first thing that he brought up this morning.
I was mortified to learn that in 3rd grade they are comparing muscles and girls are comparing butt sizes. It's so sad. :(
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2008/01/15, 03:49 PM
Ok, we are all typing at exactly the same time. We have to stop that because I ALWAYS have to have the last word and I've got to get back to work. lol
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2008/01/15, 03:54 PM
I did... and the quarterback mowed my lawn for a few years.
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Quoting from 7707mutt:
I agree with Charlie too
8 is young to be worried about this. Most important is to have FUN
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Aboard the MV The Shop
Charlie
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2008/01/15, 04:17 PM
I also feel it's important to teach him the nutrition side of things. Chips and pop ain't gonna cut it.
I'm split, though with Charlie and Mutt.... some great bodybuilders started young. He needs to have some play/explore time, but if he's gung ho, start him on the weights slow.
Charlie, were you trampled before or after making out with the quartebacks girl?
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I see the words you are typing, but all I read is *click*click*click*
Fat loss isn?t under the control of the magic fat loss fairies. - Alwyn Cosgrove
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2008/01/15, 04:27 PM
I think, Tim, he was hung by his Undies from the flag pole
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FOR MY WIFE:
Her little ring was a little thing
but it was all that i could afford
now shes mine all mine
till the day i die
and i never wanted nothing more
7707mutt@freetrainers.com
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2008/01/15, 04:56 PM
It was worse than that but I don't talk about it.
QBs were pussys. I got run over by fullbacks.
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Aboard the MV The Shop
Charlie
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2008/01/15, 05:10 PM
That's an excellent point Tim. He is very aware of nutrition, to a fault. We dont allow junk food in the house, and rarely go out to "fast food" although I don't want to deprive him of his childhood and also don't want him obsessed with not eating junk food. But, he has gotten to a point where even at his friend's birthday party he asked me if it would be rude to decline the cake since it's so unhealthy. I told him that if he wanted a piece of cake, eat the damn cake!!!
You know, the more we talk about this, the more worried I get! It is possible to be obsessed with health and body at 8 years old? Am I over-reacting? Be honest, I can take it. As long as you say no. ha ha. Just kidding.
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2008/01/15, 05:15 PM
The kid's fine...you may need therapy though.
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Aboard the MV The Shop
Charlie
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2008/01/15, 05:17 PM
You know, some kids know EXACTLY what they will be when they grow up. Doctor, astronaut, football star (sorry Charlie).... but it never crosses our mind that maybe 'bodybuilder' could be on the list.
I say let the young man do it, but be aware of the challenges that face an eight year old. Maybe check with a trainer in your area with their thoughts... ask his doctor.. and poke around here.. I think it was discussed here before.
It's easier if it's a lifestyle now instead of when he gets older.
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I see the words you are typing, but all I read is *click*click*click*
Fat loss isn?t under the control of the magic fat loss fairies. - Alwyn Cosgrove
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2008/01/15, 05:20 PM
Amy,
If you let your son be a kid and he chooses not to succumb to the junk food that everyone else is eating, that's fine. It's not obsession, it's a goal. An 8yr old with goals is something you should be proud of.
I began training at 13 to bulk up for football. I've trained off and on since then. The past 2.5 years I've worked out with a regular schedule. I will sometimes take my 5yr old daughter to the weight room with me. She loves doing cable rows (that's her fav). When we visit a restaurant and I read her the menu choices she asks if they're healthy or not. It's great that kids are aware of health at an early age. Trust me, as a teacher I see a LOT of kids whose parents obviously don't care about health!
I say it's OK to let him start training a bit. He just needs to realize that bodybuilder size takes some time to aquire. He should focus on form now. When he's a teen, let him go nuts on the weights.
That's my $0.02.....
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--JBennett
"I've up-ed my intensity.... now up yours!"
"Pain is only weakness leaving the body."
"Never think of how weak you are; think of how strong you're going to be."
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2008/01/15, 10:26 PM
Awesome tips guys. Thanks a lot.
Charlie, bite me. lol
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2008/01/16, 08:20 AM
AMy - I am with jbennett - if he is interested in it - give him guidance. Better he wants to be healthy and work out than play video games all day.
The issue with growth plates has kind of been debunked. Proper weight training form is important, and kids need more rest than adults do. I think there is an entire thread on kids lifting.
I do think it is important to keep having open discussions about body types and self-worth and how your worth is NOT defined by your arm size or butt size. I also think maybe you should go to the school and suggest they have someone come in and give a talk on these issues. I just heard a blurb ob the news the other day about how early girls are starting to have eating disorders. Obviously the seeds have been planted and you need to give these kids some guidance. Be sure to point out to your son that his brain is what will make the biggest contributions in thios world - that his body needs to be strong and healthy to carry his brain far in life, but that his body isn't what makes him special. How about Stephen Hawking? Einstein? The President (though Bush does work out on a regular basis, that is not why he is president) (and please, lets not get sidelined into a political discussion here, I am just trying to point out people who are not important because of their physiques).
Well, I think I have begun to seriously ramble.....
Have casual discussions about these issues whenever you can work them in, but not sit-down , serious uptight uncomfortable discussions (I just saw the Supernanny, Jo Frost , on a show the other day and she demonstrated how much more effective these 'by accident' conversations are as opposed to 'we need to talk' situations).
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2008/01/16, 10:22 AM
Excellent tips Amy. I'll definately keep those in mind when those casual conversations pop up. I never even thought of talking to the school about promoting positive self worth to the children through an assembly or something like that. That's an excellent idea. I completely see where you are coming from. Boys will be boys to an extent and although I wasn't SHOCKED by them comparing muscles, I was shocked by the 8 year old girls comparing to see who was the thinnest.
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2008/01/16, 11:39 AM
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Quoting from amyksmith76:
I was shocked by the 8 year old girls comparing to see who was the thinnest.
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This bothers me, too.
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I see the words you are typing, but all I read is *click*click*click*
Fat loss isn?t under the control of the magic fat loss fairies. - Alwyn Cosgrove
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2008/01/16, 12:44 PM
For the record, when I say children should be playing, it never dawned on me that computer games were considered playing.
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Aboard the MV The Shop
Charlie
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2008/01/16, 01:06 PM
While it is young to worry about things like that, he could be getting into far worse things. I agree with JBennet, especially when I look around this country and see growing rates of childhood obesity and the addiction that is video games. I don't think there is a problem with teaching him a few things, and it might even end up helping with YOUR motivation.
I could harp on this forever, and give example after example. Ultimately, it will be his choice, and I can think of much worse ones to make...
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SQUAT MORE ~Jesse Marunde
Blood Guts Sweat Chalk
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2008/01/16, 01:10 PM
Thanks wrestler. You make an excellent point, which is making me feel much better. I was thinking about this again last night trying to remember what triggered this sudden urge to get fit and healthy as it was before the school strength contest. He and I watched that show on TV a few months ago that had Shaq and the obese children and he was helping them lose weight. Zach was so upset by this show, he's been the way he is ever since. I guess that's a good thing!
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