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2007/06/25, 02:29 PM
Hi men. Sorry to intrude on your posting area, but really need some men's advice before my husband either divorces, or kills me. ha ha.
Since I've been so adamantly working out and eating healthy, he's decided that he wants to do the same. He used to play hockey and was pretty fit, but a motorcycle accident last fall ruined his ankle, no more hockey. He's now 6'0, 159 lbs, 14.5% body fat. He's got about a 31" waist and 44" shoulders. So, although skinny, I think his body type would bulk back up well with proper diet and exercise.
He asked me to help him, as he labels himself "scrawny" and is embarassed. So, I've put him on the WSSC diet at about 2700 calories per day, 50% prot., 20% carbs and 30% fat. I've been packing his lunches based on the foods that he likes that fit within the WSSC diet. I even bought him a gym membership. He keeps complaning daily that he's too skinny, out of shape, etc. But, then never goes to the gym, and usually hasn't touched a BITE of the food that I pack him for the day. He won't eat anything! I'm trying to be encouraging, and I know that you will all say that it's something that he has to decide to do on his own. But, according to him, he has decided, he just won't follow through! I've also tried stroking his ego, telling him that he's great the way he is, etc. in case he's just looking for some re-assurance.
So, at this point, I want to help him. But, I'm not going to nag him, I can only do so much. Do I continue packing the lunches and meals for him? Or, do I just leave him alone and let him wither away? He's lost about 12 lbs. in the past 3 months or so, I can visably count his ribs without his shirt on. Oh, and if you wonder why the weight loss. We started eating real healthy about 3 months ago. So, he usually only eats dinner (Yes, that's bad, I know). But, he used to eat pizza, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, etc. Now for dinner he'll have a piece of chicken and some rice. His calories have been about cut in half and he wasn't eating many to begin with! Any advice on motivating him without irritating him would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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2007/06/25, 02:46 PM
Have you invited him to check out this site? Maybe some reading on his own will offer some encouragment to him.
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I see the words you are typing, but all I read is *click*click*click*
\"He may be gone, but Sanjaya proved that it doesn\'t matter how talented you are - if you believe in yourself, you can annoy literally millions of people.\" Jimmy Kimmel
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2007/06/25, 03:27 PM
I have Tim. I've even set him up a user name and password (per his request) and emailed him the link. Still no visit. Ugh.
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2007/06/25, 03:37 PM
Men.
If he doesn't eat, he'll start storing fat. And then it'll be a bigger struggle.
If the food is just going to waste, I'd stop making his lunch.
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I see the words you are typing, but all I read is *click*click*click*
\"He may be gone, but Sanjaya proved that it doesn\'t matter how talented you are - if you believe in yourself, you can annoy literally millions of people.\" Jimmy Kimmel
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2007/06/25, 07:18 PM
Be a hard ass and when he complains that's he is too scrawny tell him, yes you are you need to start eating allot more as it's good you started going healthy you still need to eat more then dinner.
When he says it again say yes you are so why don't you pick up a fork and use your gym membership.
If you really want to encourage him tell him this, A personal trainer will help you reach any goals you set for yourself!
All I'm saying is don't co-sign him because thats actually a negative not a positive.
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Knock-Um Down & Keep-Um Down!
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2007/06/25, 08:05 PM
Does he just not like the food that you eat now compared to the fries?
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2007/06/25, 08:22 PM
You might as well try to herd cats. He'll do what he wants.
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From aboard MV The Shop
Johns Island
Charlie
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2007/06/26, 02:16 PM
Thanks guys. Charlie, I used to be a professional cat herder! There is no challenge too tough. ha ha. Just kidding.
Steve, he does like the healthy foods. He actually cooks the healthy dinners that we eat 95% of the time. He uses the excuse that he doesn't have time to eat during the day, or he forgets. Yesterday he came home from work, I walked into the kitchen to see him binging on everything I packed in his lunch box (you know, 5 meals worth?) so that I wouldn't see that he hadn't eatten during the day. When he saw that he had been caught, he looked like an abused little puppy. It was kind of sad really.
Giant, I think I'll am going to back off unless he complains about his body again, like you say. Who knows, maybe he's enough afraid of me to make changes from now on. He did eat his breakfast without complaint this AM. I think I read somewhere that "A fearful marriage is a happy marriage". Right? ha ha. Kidding again, don't hurt me men! ha ha
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2007/06/27, 12:50 PM
If he's not willing to visit this site and learn the facts, just tell him that if he works out and eats more he will be better in bed...and your tired of being board. :laugh:
Being serious now...if he's REALLY ready for a change, he will make the necessary changes himself. People cannot change unless they really want it. A person can say they are ready....but thats as far as it goes. (Like me and morning running :big_smile: ) Maybe you two could try to do a co-ed sport...i.e Volleyball or softball, something you can do together. Maybe that will jump start his competitive juices.
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2007/06/27, 01:30 PM
I was in the same predicament with my partner recently, and unfortunately there is nothing you can do other that what you have tried. My g/f and I almost fell out over this; even if they complain about their physiques just leave them to find their own way into the gym. They have to feel they are working out for themselves and not for your benefit.
You are incredibly supportive from what I have read, but if all that effort and food is going to waste, then he can't be that unhappy with his physique. It's a journey he has to realise and begin on his own unfortunately.
Good luck!
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If in doubt K.I.S.S.
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2007/06/27, 02:03 PM
Thanks guys. Bull, I love the competitive sport thing that we can do together. Now, I've got this little "hand-eye" coordination problem, you know, I'm clumsy. I will trip over my own feet three times walking from the kitchen to the living room, and once broke my collar bone by I walked into a tether-ball pole. lol. So, I'm going to have to think about that one for a bit to find a sport we would both enjoy that will not land me in the hospital. Maybe we'll start with a few games of one-on-one in the driveway. I suck at basketball, but it's not about the competition, it's about getting up and moving together. Right? :) Thanks again guys. Great suggestions!
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2007/07/09, 12:02 AM
Try it a month and let me know how it works out for ya. I'll start collecting a herd of kittens to send you.
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From aboard MV The Shop
Johns Island
Charlie
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2007/07/09, 01:03 PM
Thanks charlie! Maybe we could use the kitten herding as our couples activity. hee hee.
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2007/07/09, 03:49 PM
And where would you herd them to? :big_smile:
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2007/07/11, 11:36 AM
I just don't know. Maybe to CATalina!!! hardy har har.
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2007/07/16, 03:51 PM
I guess you could call that pussy footing around. :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
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2008/07/25, 01:52 AM
So, ........ How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one but it has to really want to change......
Moral: He will change when he is ready.
Just keep on loving him for who he is and focus on consistantly encouraging him for the things he is doing well. Gentle and Loving. The more he appreciates you, the more he will want to change for you ( for his health of course)
Good Luck!
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Only two defending forces have ever offered to die for You. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. Both died for your Freedom!
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