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2005/10/20, 03:22 PM
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her
new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first
lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state,
her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love,
for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was
a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other
incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised
to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his
employer was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely
that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another
position that paid anywhere near what he'd been
earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed
more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest
totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him
certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were
worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were
one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the more than three decades she
had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had
multiplied and these were the results of her savings
and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over
$3 million, her husband was so astunded he could
barely speak, but finally he found his voice and
blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep
their mouths shut.
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Sometimes life is like herding cats.
Charlie
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2005/10/20, 03:30 PM
Subject: having trouble choosing
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble
choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each
woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they
do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy
beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys
several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the
man. She tells him that she has done this to be more
attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She
gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for
his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she
presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She
earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his
$5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future
because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman
had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and
Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means
that by 2040, there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge erections and
absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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Sometimes life is like herding cats.
Charlie
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2005/10/21, 08:57 AM
That's funny!
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2005/10/23, 01:08 PM
Hey, can somebody explain to me what "ft Popular Status," "fr Professional," and the other ones mean? I am overwhelmed in being a www.freetrainers.com Neophite.
thanx!
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Noonie666
Whadda you mean, I can\'t have my Pinot Noir???
(hiccup)
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2005/10/23, 01:16 PM
Hi noonie, The status designations are tied to the number of posts the person has. The pro status simply means that the member has paid to receive the benefits not available to non paying members. I think "elite status means the member has 1000+ posts. The idea is the longer a member has been around the more credability they have... not always so but read the boards a while and you'll learn who's full of crap and who's not. Welcome to FT.
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Sometimes life is like herding cats.
Charlie
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2005/10/24, 06:33 AM
charlie.....nice jokes....I knew where the second one was going...lol...
popular is 50 posts....elite is only 500+.....it's a useless system really....sometimes people with 1 post can make a profound contribution...and sometimes 1 post= 1000 others....
technically we're all full of 'crap'....=)
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