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2004/04/18, 12:43 PM
Hi, my name is Anni and today I have PMS. That's right, I'm a hormone hostage.
I feel so angry for no apparent reason that if I saw a puppy in the rain, I would leave it there at least long enough to teach it a lesson. Any lesson. After about 5 minutes, my guilt and horror would send me on a 2 hour crying jag. The crying jag over the poor little puppy would ruin my eye makeup. So then I would spend an hour crying over how ugly I am which would lead to how fat I am. All of this leads to chocolate, the only one who really understands me.
Well it's not raining, I can't find a puppy and I threw the chocolate out yesterday, so I found the following joke. Because today is PMS day, I laughed until I cried which ruined my eye makeup, etc... If it weren't for the bloating the day would be completely wasted.
Have a nice day.
How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS... I'm sorry... what did you ask me??
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Anni
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2004/04/18, 01:05 PM
Oh yeah! The reason for this post is to find out if anyone has any home remedies that actually work.
I'm not so much in the mood to hear sissy stuff like "drink lots of soothing chamomile tea." Right now, my idea of a good PMS remedy is Jack Daniels and a Louisville Slugger.
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Anni
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2004/04/18, 01:41 PM
hahahaha Anni...sorry, I know you are feeling PMS-ful, but I'm LMAO over here.:love:
I can't do the tea thing either, (nor the Jack...I'm a Cuervo girl myself:laugh:) I would love to give you a simple solution but unfortunately I have found my only real saving grace in this area is to actually give myself permission to be bitchy and tearful.
Meaning, I forgive myself for hating the world...I tell my friends and loved ones that I am cranky and need space. I take a warm bath...I accept that I am not so in control of everything, much less my emotions and then I write like hell in my journal.
If you were close to me I would have one of my massage therapists give you a little Cranial Sacral Therapy, I tried it last time I had bad PMS and I felt tons better!!
Sorry, not a simple homeopathic remedy but it works wonders if you ever have the chance to do it!
Feel better,
Julienne
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2004/04/18, 06:55 PM
dfly thank you so much for being supportive. This is such a rotten way to feel and there just is no way of controling it. It helps to know that other women have it too.
By the way, when you type in pms in the fitBuddy, it says it can't find anything. Personally, I think it's just scared.
It's the cocktail hour so here I go, sans bat. :love:
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Anni
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2004/04/18, 08:21 PM
It should be...last time I had it really bad, I went outside and beat the s*** out of a jar of peanut butter that I couldn't get open.:big_smile:
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2004/04/29, 10:38 AM
Hi,
I suffer the same way - but I never cry!! I know if I had a gun I could quite easily kill someone when I'm PMSing. I haven't found a cure at all - at least that is legal lol. I rant and I rave, I don't apologise - it's pathetic....For me, beer helps...I am also alone - a lot...my husband works for 2 weeks at a time away, which leaves me with the kids, house, 3 dogs, you get the picture....beer & humour, If you can't laugh at youself, who can you laugh at.....I think in the end we have to forgive ourselves for being the biological creatures that we are....
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2004/04/29, 11:21 AM
unfortunately the only thing that works for me is a big fat CHOCOLATE candy bar, preferably with peanuts in it.:love:
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It is no fun to be normal!!!
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2004/04/29, 11:26 AM
i find (and i'm not joking here) that beating things up will help significantly. i do, of course, mean inanimate objects, but you can really let go of those hormones if you just kick the crap out of something.
you just have to be careful of where you do this...the other day i took out my pms on a kitchen cabinet and kind of kicked the face of it in. oops...
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success comes before work only in the dictionary. that's right.
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2004/04/29, 12:49 PM
I think we can all agree that violence and chocolate are the only things that help.
I dated a man several years ago (for several years) who was a real adreneline junkie, he loved danger and he was a real s.o.b. so he courted danger constantly. Very exciting man.
One morning when the pms was upon me, he looked at me and said "you know, I've heard of pms, but I've never seen it. You're a real one, aren't you? Cool."
He was a freak but he had shot guns and hammers and all sorts of good anti-pms stuff and he wasn't afraid to just hand me something and get out of my way.
I wonder if dfly is putting a nifty padded cell in her day spa? Wouldn't it be great? Pay $20 and get to go beat the crap out of everything in sight for about 30 minutes? Then go have a facial and a manicure and voila! you're a real person again.
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Anni
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Have you hugged your EFAs today?
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2004/04/29, 02:44 PM
This is all too hilarious to me. I get PMS for 2 weeks every 3 months. Right before I need to go get my depo shot, and right after, all I do is cry, argue, and think about how fat I am. I have found, that eating Kraft Macaroni and Cheese really helps, and putting a shot of vodka in my Coke as soon as I get home makes things a little easier on me and my husband. Also, just a thought. We know how bad PMS is on us, but think about how horrible it is for the people around us!! Boy am I glad I'm not one of them!!! :big_smile:
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2004/04/30, 01:36 PM
Wow every three months would be great!
For a while there, I was PMSing more often than not, at least two weeks a month. Then I went off birth control for a few months and it seemed to even me out a bit.. apparently my body doesn't like when I mess with it's hormones and turns me into Oscar the Grouch.
However one teenager is quite enough so back to BC I go!
I have no problem warning my dear friends and family not to take it personally when I snap back, stomp off or swear like a sailor.. it's not the real me, she'll be back in a week.
In the meantime, loud music and cold beer really helps. :)
Seriously - music is a huge influence on my mood, I have actually burned a CD called 'bad mood busters'..
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2004/05/11, 03:18 PM
i dont get PMS. maybe you wanna talk to the doc about that.
as for cramps....warm bath solves all.....and a comfy blanket lying on the sofa watching a movie. that rocks all.
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2004/05/11, 03:45 PM
A warm sofa with a blanky is good anytime, not just when you have cramps. Hmmm, good idea for tonight!! :big_smile:
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2004/05/11, 06:33 PM
Thanks for the advice jask, but I'm just not comfortable soaking in a bath when I'm on my period. There's something about it that just seems so disgusting.
I tried talking to my doctor about it, but since he doesn't get PMS he didn't really have any constructive advice.
Thanks for trying to help though.:love:
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/07/09, 08:05 AM
Bump because I just freakin feel like it.
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/07/09, 09:28 AM
LOL anni.
On your current mood, you might hate me for what I'll be revealing but I'm one of the weirdest people in the world who don't get pms. When I'm near my period, the only indication I get is feeling heavy and tender mamms. Thats it. I don't get cranky, and crazy mood swings. I only get those when I'm extremely tired and have been going without sleep for weeks.
Hope you feel better soon :)
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The best victories are won not by adversity and brute force. Learn the enemy and overcome it.
-cupcake-
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2004/07/09, 10:40 AM
slowly backs away knowing he is the only male on this thread so far...easy....easy...no sudden moves.....fully prepared to play dead if attacked.....easy
Hope you feel better annie :big_smile:
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2004/07/09, 10:45 AM
fsdsk your submissive attitude brings me a minor degree of pleasure. Now, genuflect and apologize and I will allow you take your leave unscathed.
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/07/09, 10:47 AM
runs like hell with tail between legs.....
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There is no substitute for hard work
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2004/07/09, 10:51 AM
As a male in a house with three ladies I have found that it's all my fault and I had better not argue about it. The youngest is really mad that I don't have to have a period. I am very sorry for you and those that you love.
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I will get to it as soon as I am done lifting.
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2004/07/09, 10:52 AM
Just shut up and get out of here before someone gets hurt woodie! run! :)
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2004/07/09, 11:00 AM
Listen to fsdsk, Woodie. Your incessant yapping about how pms impacts your life is making my headache worse. When will you learn that a woman with pms does not give a crap about you or your selfish feelings, she only wants you to die some lingering horrible death that involves skin eating bacteria that starts on your nether regions. Unless, of course, you have used your other brain today and have come to apologize for your existence and are bringing Ho Ho's. The large box.
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/07/09, 11:44 AM
Anni - you won't like my answer, but exercising is helpful. Especially kickboxing (that goes right back to beating the crap out of something).
i find the healthier/fitter I get, the shorter the duration of my PMS, now I am psychotic for one or two days as opposed to a week.
I read an article recently that said you burn bodyfat more easily during the week before you menstruate.. another good reason to take it out on the elliptical.
When all else fails, go for a walk.
Premesyn is my drug of choice, multi-symptom Pamprin has saved my husband's lived on previous occasion, also.
Good luck!
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\"Achieving worthwhile goals requires a consistent investment of time and effort on your part....The rewards you receive will be in direct proportion to the consistent effort you put forth.\"
Brian Johnston, The Power of The Champions
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2004/07/09, 11:50 AM
asimmer you know I really do like your answer and I'm really trying. This morning at 8:30 I took myself to Walmart, even though I hate that store and I made the following purchases:
2 heads lettuce
3 bunches fresh broccoli
1 bunch fresh parsley (no, I don't why)
3 large green bell peppers
3 cucumbers
5 fresh tomatos
1 large head cauliflower
2 small heads cabbage
1 bunch fresh radishes
1.5lbs fresh zucchini
1.5lbs fresh mushrooms
2lbs fresh baby carrots (I know it was wrong)
1 bunches fresh shallots
2lbs fresh gala apples
8lbs lean sirloin
2 doz cage free eggs
1 loaf whole wheat bread
DVD - Dvine secrest of the Ya-Ya sisterhood
DVD - A beautiful mind
DVD - Moulin Rouge!
DVD - Titanic
It has finally quit raining here so I can go for my walk and I've taken a compasine. I'm trying, I really am.
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/07/09, 11:52 AM
Anni those 4 movies alone give me pms. Good groceries though.
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Foolish consistancies are the hobgoblins of small minds.
Charlie
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2004/07/09, 11:54 AM
lol Work with me Charlie, I need chick flicks, I'm only human. Okay today I'm only half human. What the hell am I going to do with parsley? Oh! I also purchased vaccume cleaner bags so that I can take out some of my aggression via housework.
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2004/07/09, 11:59 AM
Imagine Celine Dion being sucked up in a vacuum cleaner while singing "Sittin in my lala waitin for my yaya." That helps me alot.
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Foolish consistancies are the hobgoblins of small minds.
Charlie
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2004/07/09, 12:11 PM
Oh, okay! I'd never have thought of it but can clearly see where it might work. Thank you Charlie, you are always so helpful and kind.
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/07/09, 12:25 PM
Sensitive too.
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Foolish consistancies are the hobgoblins of small minds.
Charlie
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2004/07/09, 12:36 PM
Yes, sensitive too. Your wife is very fortunate to have you.
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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2004/07/09, 12:52 PM
Thank you Anni. I do try. She tells me I'm a Cosmo kind of guy.
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Foolish consistancies are the hobgoblins of small minds.
Charlie
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2004/07/09, 01:34 PM
Hey, I can fix things around the house.
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I will get to it as soon as I am done lifting.
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2004/07/09, 10:18 PM
Ania - I loved the book (divine secrets...) let me know how the flick is, I may watch it sometime when the hubby is off playing paintball.
I forgot to mention Evening primrose oil - some women swear by it as the remedy for PMS, may be something to look into.
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\"Achieving worthwhile goals requires a consistent investment of time and effort on your part....The rewards you receive will be in direct proportion to the consistent effort you put forth.\"
Brian Johnston, The Power of The Champions
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2004/07/09, 11:10 PM
asimmer the movie was wonderful, a real chick flick. I don't watch television or movies so it was a real treat. I'm sure you will enjoy it very much.
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Anni
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Hard work must have killed somebody
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