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2005/02/17, 02:48 PM
Ok, wow, well I have a little situation here and I kinda need some input. I have been dating this girl for 15 months and we have talked and talked about the future yada yada yada. We have an unusual amount of arguements that never really get settled. We love each other in a weird way I guess and really care about each other. I mean 15 months is quite a long time, at least for me it is. However, I have this really close friend from home and we hang out all time and are a lot closer than my girlfriend and I. It is getting to the point where I would much rather be with her rather than with my girlfriend. I do care for my girlfriend and I don't want to hurt her but I feel like if I stay then I am not happy and I hurt my best friend but if I leave I hurt my girlfriend. I just kinda want to talk about it that's all cuz I don't really want to talk to either of them quite yet. Thanx
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2005/02/17, 02:55 PM
Do what is best for you man. Screw what they think or want, you have to do what is best for you. Trust me.
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I skip faster than most people can run.
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2005/02/17, 03:00 PM
Tis' true thanx
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2005/02/17, 03:20 PM
Yeah hurting someone in that situation is tough. But all three of you will be happier in the long run. Gotta do what you feel man!
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2005/02/17, 03:46 PM
Have to follow your heart - and use your head, its the only way and it seems like you know the answer already. You are just kind enough to not want to injure one or the other, but no one is happy in this type of a situation if you aren't true to yourself. Good luck to you.
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2005/02/17, 08:27 PM
thanx all
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2005/02/18, 10:16 AM
True friends(whether male or female) come once in a lifetime but gf/bfs come and go...so stick with your friend...if you like spending time with ehr and you are growing apart with ur gf...then make a note of it..try to realize why this is so....try to figure out a good way to resolve it....if it means breaking upw ith ur gf so be it...she'll get over it and so will u....however, is there a possibility that u can invite ur gf to hang out with u and ur friend? perhaps u cna all bond better...are u attracted to ur friend? i am one of those skeptics who usually finds it hard to be good friends with females....unless they look like a male...lol...anywayz best of wishes...hope u resolve it...
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2005/02/18, 10:40 AM
Are you secretly in love with your friend? Cause menace is right the girls come and go, but I have the feeling that once you find the right one you won't care if you hurt this friend of yours anymore. Maybe you aren't in love with your friend, but if you are worried about hurting her then I'd say you don't care about your girlfriend enough to make it worth staying with her.
Do you think that the increased number of fights that you are having has anything to do with the fact that your girlfriend feels threatened by your friend. I am amazed that women have such a difficult time understanding that when they argue because they are threatened and just wanting attention, that they do more harm than good. If your girlfriend hadn't been fighting with you more, would you be having these thoughts. Sounds like you need to talk to her about it, but truthfully it sounds like she's not the right one for you. A relationship shouldn't take this much work. I say dump the girlfriend, but be honest with yourself about your friend. I think you gotta crush ;)
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2005/02/18, 02:25 PM
give her a copy of He's Just Not That Into You and then start acting all the ways that a good boyfriend wouldn't act. Then she'd get it...
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2005/02/19, 12:15 AM
Well, I must agree with Menace. If you enjoy being with your friend,then why waste time with your current GF?
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2005/02/22, 03:50 PM
Thanks all. It is good to get an outside view of things. I do not have a secret crush on my friend. My friend and I are like big brother and little sister. She is only 5'2" 102lbs. while I am 6' 185lbs. I am 21 and she is only 16. To put it in a different perspective when I was a senior in high school she was in 8th grade. Weird? Yes! It is not that I want to date my friend at home it is just that I can't figure out why we get along so much better than my gf and I. I wish I could have the fun with my gf that I do with my friend. I know it prolly just takes time too. Oh, and the arguments are getting alot better. I think I will just give it time and a few prayers.
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2005/02/22, 03:53 PM
16??????? Can you say jailbait?? Run Lex run.
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Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!!!!!!
Charlie
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2005/02/22, 04:56 PM
well maybe you get along better with the jailbait not because you like her better than your gf, but just because your relationship with your gf is so horrible. I'd be willing to put money on the fact that your jailbait bud likes you. You are 21 and you probably act like the men she'd like to date. I have a hard time believing that MOST men and women can be friends without any sexual interest. And maybe you aren't letting yourself realize this crush because she is 16. I wonder why you felt it necessary to put her height and weight on here or why you had to tell us when you were a senior she was in the eigth grade...sounds like you are trying to convince yourself. I wouldn't waste the prayers though. Go with your gut and you'll save yourself a lot of heartache and headache. Ditch the gf, you probably will never learn how to have fun with her - which by the way isn't something you would need to take time for, it should just happen naturally. COming from someone who found the right person after years of searching, I wish I'd learned to let go of all the losers that came first...I'm not calling your gf a loser btw, she's probably nice, but just not right for you.
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2005/02/22, 05:07 PM
funny charlie very funny:big_smile: I put her weight on there bob cuz she is really like my little sister.
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2005/02/22, 05:58 PM
Bobo, ya gotta kiss da frogs ta find da prince.
King Charlie....formerly prince charlie
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Quoting from bobosensei:
I wish I'd learned to let go of all the losers that came first...
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2005/02/24, 05:24 PM
Wish me luck! I am going to talk to the gf and "friend" tonight. Well at least one of them.
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A word to the wise isn\'t necessary, it\'s the stupid ones that need advice.
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2005/02/24, 05:43 PM
Wear your helmet...
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Anni
*******
In my head, I am out of my mind....
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2005/02/24, 05:53 PM
...and body armor...
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Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!!!!!!
Charlie
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2005/02/25, 11:27 AM
the legal age of consent has been increased to 16, so you don't have to worry about Statuatory rape...If that's what you have been bothered with...Sometimes we find happiness in those that we are not with, it's life...the grass always looks greener on the other side...you just have to deal with whatever decision you make and know that if you choose wrong then you just have to take your wins like your losses...
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2005/02/25, 11:44 AM
du2dg, that varies from state to state. Also the fathers of generally take a dim view of grown men seeing their teenage daughters.
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Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!!!!!!
Charlie
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2005/02/25, 12:06 PM
...on a side note...When I think back to 16 I can remember being a fun, no cares, happy-go-lucky kid that thought older guys (not too much older) were cool, and I am wondering if that is what you are finding appealing, the freespirit, the sparkle of innocence that hasn't been quite forgotten, the coming of age. At 16, even with those of us who had extremely sucky lives, you just see life through different eyes, you haven't had much experience of being in debt, paying your way all the way, all those things that we "adults" deal with and when in relationships often argue about.
I've still agree, do what you need to be happy, but don't make a mistake of thinking you are seeing the full picture, a 16 year olds will be making many, many emotional changes throughout the next couple years and that can be a rollercoaster and she could end up a totally different person by the time she has matured fully.
Then again, she could end up the love of your life, it has happened!
Confusing at best! Hope all went well for you last night and that your girlfriend is understanding of your hopes for happiness for both of you.
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2005/02/25, 12:30 PM
Lex - I completely understand where you are coming from. But maybe you should take time away from both girls. I had to do this because I was in the same situation that you are in. It wasn't easy. I don't have my boyfriend anymore and I still have my male best buddy BUT I realized too that I wasn't wanting more than to be "Just friends" with him either. I now date other guys and am hoping that one day that that "special" someone will come along. Don't be in a hurry and do what YOU want to do. Listen to the advice but don't let anyone talk you into making your move. By the way - how old is your girlfriend?
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2005/02/28, 05:51 PM
Well I took my helmet and my armor not that I needed it but just in case, right? :big_smile: My friend isn't really talking to me so who know what the heck is goin on there. She won't return my calls and doesn't really even want to hang out anymore. No offense ladies, cuz I know that many of you are fine women, but geez come on what are you guys doin to us guys. Sorry just had to say that. I talked to the gf and told her all about it and she said ya know lets just take it really slow then. I said sweet, so we are workin out together still and hangin out. But the best thing is that we can tell we miss each other. We are doin alot better to make each other happy and that is it for now. So thanks all for postin it has really helped and opened up some windows and doors that I didn't see. The gf is 20 halfpint.
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A word to the wise is not necessary, it is the stupid ones that need advice.
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2005/03/01, 10:18 AM
I wish you well, lexballer13, it is always anyone's guess where our fate lies! :)
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Veda
MISERY IS OPTIONAL
***When you are up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that is not submerged.
***The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
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2005/03/01, 04:08 PM
What are you getting from the relationship with each of these ladies? What are you giving them?
If the answer is nothing substantial, then really all you are doing is denying yourself the opportunity of some life lessons, move on and start smelling the roses.
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2005/03/02, 04:42 PM
Oh no I definitely smell the roses with my gf but with my friend it is more the awesome company without any arguments.
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A word to the wise is not necessary, it is the stupid ones that need advice.
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2005/03/03, 10:58 AM
Lex, if you have to question, then you already know the answer deep in your heart.
Think of it this way, the scent of a rose dimishes with time but friendship only grows stronger every day.
I should should know, I married my best friend.
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A morning without coffee is like something without something else.
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2005/03/03, 11:55 AM
that's sweet dfly :)
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2005/03/03, 01:08 PM
Sooo, friendship is like cheese!:love:
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Anni
*******
In my head, I am out of my mind....
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2005/04/07, 11:49 AM
just follow ur heart bro, and not your head:)
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2005/04/07, 11:37 PM
I was thinking - the chinese horrorscope matches people about that distance in age - you might want to check to see how it is with you - some of those things really scare me on how well they hit people right
but how is it going??
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Reddy
All people smile in the same language
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