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asimmer
Posts:
8,201
Joined: 2003/01/07 |
2004/03/26, 08:36 PM
Women's definitions
FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. NOTHING This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine." GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine." GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing." SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content. THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow." GO AHEAD At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. PLEASE DO This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay." THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome. THANKS A LOT This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing." :big_smile: -------------- If you fall down seven times, get up eight. |
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jsom85
Posts:
316
Joined: 2004/01/16 |
2004/03/26, 09:48 PM
:laugh: its so true-------------- Get your weight up, kid |
dfly411
Posts:
1,352
Joined: 2004/03/04 |
2004/03/27, 10:04 AM
:big_smile::big_smile:
I love it!! :big_smile::big_smile: |
2004/03/28, 01:41 AM
My wife is very straight forward. When she really wants to make a point she rears back on one leg, raises her other knee and flips me the bird with both hands.:surprised:-------------- A problem ceases to be such when you can laugh about it. Charlie | |
azredhead57
Posts:
1,651
Joined: 2003/04/11 |
2004/03/28, 01:56 AM
Ok hubby I hope you read this one. Maybe it will help you figure a few things out. :love:
Women are such complicated creatures.....but what would you guys do without us:big_smile: -------------- ~Victoria~ ...Do not be discouraged; everyone who got where he is, started where he was.--anon ...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills |
bardrock69
Posts:
59
Joined: 2003/04/30 |
2004/03/28, 02:54 PM
Yeah baby, I did read it. And you are a very complicated creature. And without you, there is nothing. I wouldnt want to live my life without you, ever. :love: P.S. I will keep this all in mind for the future.
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agamble
Posts:
1,029
Joined: 2003/09/22 |
2004/03/29, 06:23 AM
No wonder I've been having so much trouble! They should teach that in elementary school.
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lexballer13
Posts:
165
Joined: 2003/10/15 |
2004/03/29, 12:32 PM
Ya, but it goes both ways azredhead. What would you ladies do without us????? Why is it that the guys always get the bad rap, just doesn't make sense to me, no matter what we do it is wrong or not thoughtful enough!!!
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azredhead57
Posts:
1,651
Joined: 2003/04/11 |
2004/03/29, 12:41 PM
Sorry lexballer, my post was aimed specifically at my husband and he totally understood that. My apologies if you took it the wrong way. The original post was meant in fun, Im sure.-------------- ~Victoria~ ...Do not be discouraged; everyone who got where he is, started where he was.--anon ...There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.--Beverly Sills |
dfly411
Posts:
1,352
Joined: 2004/03/04 |
2004/03/29, 12:52 PM
Be forced to evolve into creatures that could reproduce in a same sex society? Hummm....I wonder....
============ Quoting from lexballer13: What would you ladies do without us????? |
2004/03/30, 01:48 PM
Kind of like reptiles dfly????:big_smile:-------------- A problem ceases to be such when you can laugh about it. Charlie | |
dfly411
Posts:
1,352
Joined: 2004/03/04 |
2004/03/30, 03:25 PM
yep....you know, like the frogs that briefly change gender to get themsleves pregnant?? If you ask me, kind of takes the fun out of it.
(It's all about the discovery channel over here today.):laugh: |
goodoldtex
Posts:
564
Joined: 2004/01/25 |
2004/03/30, 04:48 PM
if some of the guys i know could change gender periodically theyd never leave home....
But then again it doesn't work for guys...there can never be a same sex society of all males because the male system is geared to produce the inexpensive sexual gametes that we all know so well (sperm). We would have to literally evolve ovaries and produce an oocyte (which is impossible in a month because women are born with all their oocytes for life and the oocytes are so expensive to make, the male sex organ couldn't produce an oocyte...yet the female system could change to a more 'inexpensive' form and produce sperm). So technically if there were no women, we'd die off. If there were no guys, (if you believe in evolution) the women could evolve to reproduce by the cycle where one acts as a male based on hormonal levels and a female the same way (parthenogenesis) OR you'd turn into sequential hermaphroditism. But in those kind of systems, 'male' courtship is required to induce ovulation in the females...no matter what, someone has to grow some balls :) :laugh: (figuratively) |
2004/03/30, 05:05 PM
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????-------------- A problem ceases to be such when you can laugh about it. Charlie | |
Hellscream
Posts:
272
Joined: 2004/02/25 |
2004/03/30, 05:10 PM
tex that was a bit too specific and detailed, I was thinking more along the lines of jumping off a cliff :D
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dahayz
Posts:
794
Joined: 2002/05/08 |
2004/03/30, 05:20 PM
Wow, tex, that was deep man.:laugh:
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goodoldtex
Posts:
564
Joined: 2004/01/25 |
2004/03/30, 05:38 PM
heheheh sorry...i took a bio test on all that today :)
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