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2002/11/09, 03:55 PM
I had the worst thing happen yesterday that I think I may ever go through in my entire life.
I got a call from my girlfriend that one of my friends has committed suicide. This is shocking news seeing as that I live in a small town of 900 people and you know everyone in the school and basically everyone is your friend. I used to be best friends with this boy in elementary but I hadnt really been close to him in years. This year however we had a class together and I was really liking getting to know him again.
Little do any of us know yet why he did. He was happy and always talked about the future. I never could have guessed him. He took out a hunting rifle and felt there was no more reasons to live. It is shocking and I would like you all to remember life is everything and nothing can be so bad you cant get over it. It is selfish to take your life and give problems to everyone else that knows you.
If you think you may have a problem please get help and dont put anyone through what the people in our town are going through.
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"Imagine what you could do,
if you could do what you imagine."
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2002/11/09, 04:20 PM
My sympathies to you and the community lewdog.
Life is a funny thing, and we really don't always know what the other person REALLY wants.
In his world now he is happy and life will continue.
Again, really sorry.
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To change it, or to create it, simply train it!
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2002/11/09, 05:22 PM
Wow - so sad when young people think this will solve everything. We had problems with this in our community a few years back. There were about 2-3 yr span with about 4 kids that committed suicide within the same high school.
The community did get together to try to resolve or help any future people who may contemplate such. The kids now have a program within the high school where they can sound off problems within their own "peer group" I don't know all the details but it seems to be working. THey also hit the sophomore group and parents that have lost a kid to such come in and talk about it. It's something that you have to bring into the open - like an awareness program. All in all - the openess and awareness that is presented have helped. It is a tuff world out there today. Stability is next to nothing anymore with people loosing their jobs....divorcing....kids that have to live thru such issues with their parents have to deal with that as well as the pressures of growing up. Hard but if you have the right people out there counseling ahead of time....it has a way of helping. Hope this makes sense. IF you are interested in starting something to that degree there I will try to get you the resources. Take care! Keep on working out!
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2002/11/11, 10:14 AM
My condolences to you, your community, and the family of your friend.
Somebody gave this quote a while a go, and it really struck a chord with me. For those of us, that this type of thinking happens to occasionaly, I offer this:
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"
-author unknown (to me anyways)
God Bless,
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"When going through hell......DON'T STOP"
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2002/11/11, 10:45 AM
My regards to you and the community as well. One really does not know what is going on in a person's mind. There are warning signs but we tend to overlook them or are in a state of denial.
Personally no one close to me has completed suicide. My brother's girlfriend attempted suicide in front of me. She swallowed a bunch of diaretics. I made her puke until they were all out. Then I called her mother and all three of us sat down and had a long conversation. Even though she was living with me because of extenuating circumstances I had no idea she was feeling that bad. Looking back the signs were there.
My brother and sister attempted suicide thank goodness someone was there to intervene.
After this I have not looked at life the same way.
Take care lewdog and remember the community and you are going to be going through many emotions. Like workingoutgirl said you can start something to make a negative turn into a positive.
If you need to get things out talk to someone or post them here. We will support you through this. :)
:) Melissa
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Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
- -- Aristotle
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2002/11/11, 10:47 AM
Lewdog I know how hard this is. Two years ago I had a good friend hang himself. I was takinga class with him and his wife along with mne and other couples. It was for our church. He was a very funny and loving person, that seemed to love life. He had a great job, beautiful wife and a son. It was not till after he had done it that we found out he ws being treated for depression. Anyway it hit those of us hard I still think about him each day it seems. Just hang in there. I know it seems unfair, and wrong what he did, which it was cause it hurts those that still live, but as in the case of my friend he was a tourtured person each day of his life, yeah he had good things and a good life but as one who fights depression each day I know how hard it was for him, and that he is in a better state now. I know that sounds harsh but it is the truth. My prayers and thoughts are with you and all he touched. God Bless!
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There are those the lift, and those that do not. Which are you?
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2002/11/11, 11:12 AM
Thanks for all the comments. It is just such a shock. There were no warning signs and I mean none. He talked about the future and college. He had plan friday night to hang with some friend but he decided to go home from school ealry and shoot himself instead. I am guessing that he was pretty good at hiding some problems he had. He was probably very depressed. In the note he left it said he was tired of trying to figure out who he was. But it was such a selfish act to think he couldnt handle his problems and give the ones who loved him most, problems for the rest of our lives. His dad coached me in baseball for 6 sraight year when I was younger and I know his family very well and it makes me sick to have them have to go through this.
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2002/11/12, 11:48 AM
I moved 2 years ago to the town of Cobourg in Ontario from Summerside,P.E.I.I was born in Toronto but i grew up on Prince Edward Island,Canada.I left my best friend and ppl i knew since forever.During these two years in Ontario it has been very hard for me.I am 17 now but when u r 15 and u move to a small town where everyone knows eachother it's hard to make friends especially for guys.I can say i still don't have alot of friends at the school i've been going to and it puzzles me.I have never been a loser i always had alot of friends but everything has turned upside down.The first couple of months after i moved i was anti-social but ppl would have forgotten it.I am not the scruffy,funny-looking dork and never was.I still don't know how i'm going to break in at this school for my last year.Ofcourse i went through some friends at this school but they either moved away or turned their backs on me when i needed them the most.I am writing this not cuz i'm suicidal but to show that not all teenagers end their lives over these problems.I know the future will get better and i have to remain positive but sometimes i wonder if anyone would give a damn if i died.I don't have a close family and my friends live 30 min. from my town or half way across the country so sometimes i don't really have any support.It's funny how u can be at the top and it only takes one event in life to bring it all down.But i still after 2 years remain positive and friendly and things are getting better albeit at a slow pace.The guys at my school don't seem to wanna give me a chance since i never grew up with them and am an "outsider" still.How can create an opening for me to prove to them,to my grade(12) that i am not a loser.I have lots of friends they r just not at my school where i need them the most.
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2002/11/12, 05:41 PM
Xphobicas,
After reading what you wrote heresounds like you are a very successful individual. You had lots of friends in P.E.I. and in your last year of school.(high school). Looks like your doing quite well. I can't tell you how to win and influence friends, but what I can tell you is, try to join some local clubs or community center where you can see these
people away from the common school area.
Maybe your interests can be shared with them, ie: training, music hockey, etc.
Hope I shed some light for you.
I know others will put some interesting posts here as well.
Good luck from a fellow Canadian in Montreal.
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To change it, or to create it, simply train it!
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2002/11/12, 07:26 PM
the funeral was today. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. So hard to see his dad, mom and sisers cry. He comes from such a loving family. His grandparents live across the street and they are the loving american family. God rest you soul. I will never forget you.
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2002/11/13, 09:09 AM
i only saw this post now. my deepest sorrow lies with you and your community.
i lost a cousin 2 years ago because of a car crash. i know it doesn`t have much
do with a suicide, but he was my best friend and meant a lot to me and it was also
small community of about 500 people...Its terrible what my family went through. You
the father crying over the son he was so proud of because of some drunk bastard.
i turned angry at the world for a while before i saw how senseless i was being...
it still pains to got to my family in that community and see the house that was so
full of happiness suddenly so empty. the situation improved since then now. its important
to understand life goes on...
Xphobicas:
i know what u mean. i moved from a city to a small town a year ago and i still have trouble.
i mean its different trouble than yours. the people here are nice and everything, but i mean
i just can`t understand their jokes sometimes and what they liked (music, clothes etc.)
its the same with me-i really was popular at school, and had great fun with everyone-going to parties
and stuff.
its a different story here. i had to learn a new language (german) and get used to the way poeople
think here. in holland it was: lets go to a party and grab us ome chicks!
here: lets go to a bar and get drunk!
...big difference.
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2002/11/13, 09:14 AM
Sorry to hear that Lew. Wish you the best.
DP
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2002/11/13, 10:28 AM
Thanks for the advice Caravan.Not many guys at my school CDCI WEST go to the gym i go to unfortunately but i am probably going to go to a party in Cobourg with a friend or two.The only issue is that if i go some of the guys might pick a fight with me and i'll have to put up with the BS all over again.The guys use to call me names when i walked down the hall but now they don't say a word.It might seem crazy but i miss the occasional name calling we had cuz now i feel like i am invisible and they won't talk to me.The surprising thing is last semester just before summer vacation i hanged out with the cool guys for 2-3 weeks but then a guy named Jake Taylor started to snub me.I remember in the cafeteria i came to sit down next to Jake and ryan and Jake gave Ryan a look and they moved to the next table.I thought that if i didn't take the hint things would get more worse and embarrassing.So i stop hanging out with all the guys abruptly.The thing i did wrong i believe was that i was trying to make friends with all of them and since they r the jocks/popular guys they are a big group hence the problem.The thing that got me into the group was that a couple of guys were getting tattoo's from my dad who just opened up his own shop again in Cobourg so we had things to talk about.The guys either hate me for petty reasons or think that i'm a loser cuz of my lack of friends at the school(they don't really seem me with my friends outside of school) so they won't give me another chance.Oh well guess i'll have to be more aggressive.Any other points would be appreciated and Lewdog sorry for your loss.
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2003/01/14, 06:44 AM
Firstly my condolences Lewdog, I only just saw the thread I hope the community has pulled together.
Xphobicas,
How’s it goin? It is hard to sometimes to find friends, but it is always better to be yourself and real friends rather than a bunch of fakers who you can’t act yourself around. When I turned 16 I quit hangin with the gang I use to, a rather nasty experience waking up covered in blood and sick after a night out. Although I had known these people since I can remember they weren’t friends. It was always a question of who was who, more politics then friendships. So when I quit I was not worth knowing and lost contact with all but two of them, I then spent a couple of years finishing of school and made another friend in that time. But could not go out during that period, I needed to keep clean and avoid old enemies though my old rep kept me safe from most.
When I went of to uni I started again and was in a situation when no one knew each other so it was easy. I now have loads of associates (people I say hi to) and a few true friends and they are spread out through out Britain and the Toronto area (I spent a year out there). But I still keeping regular contact with these people and I know from experience its better to have friends you can trust and can act yourself with. I will do all I can to help these people and they will do the same for me, and that’s what friendships about.
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