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2005/02/15, 11:50 PM
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
>
> 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
> "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
> cleani! ng.."
>
> 2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
> "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
> 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
> "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
> next week!"
>
> 4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
> "Because I said so, that's why."
>
> 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
> 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
> the store with me."
>
> 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
> "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
>
> 7. My mother taught me IRONY.
> "Keep crying, and! I'll give you something to cry about."
>
> 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
> "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
>
> 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
> "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
> 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
> 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
>
> 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
> "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>
> 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
> "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
>
> 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
> "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
>
> 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
> "Stop acting like your father!"
>
> 15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
> "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
> have wonderful parents like you do."
>
> 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
> "Just wait until we get home."
>
> 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
> "You are going to get it when you get home!"
>
> 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
> "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that
> way."
>
> 19. My mother taught me ESP.
> "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
>
> 20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
> "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
>
> 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
> "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
>
> 22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
> "You're just like your father."
>
> 23 My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
> "Shut that door beh! ind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
>
> 24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
> "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
> 25. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
> "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
:laugh::laugh::laugh: Sorry, I know it's sad to laugh at your own jokes but I was pissing myself laughing at some of these!
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2005/02/16, 09:29 AM
:laugh::big_smile: very funny. sounds exactly like my mother.
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2005/02/16, 09:42 AM
sounds like every mother is like this
still love mine to bits
:love:
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2005/02/16, 11:44 AM
============
Quoting from t-babe:
25."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
My mother has said that to me a few times. Don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult
:(
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2005/02/19, 12:25 AM
Yeah Chameleon, but the funny thing is that I'm turning out just like my mother. Scarey, huh?
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2005/02/19, 01:59 PM
I am scared of your mother.
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2005/02/20, 04:11 PM
lol, are you my sister by any chance?
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Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory
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